StellaA Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 We went NC for 5/6 months, he came to my work on what would have been our anniversary to see how I was and to say sorry for everything. We talked, it was nice to talk and discuss things once everything had settled a bit. As soon as I saw him I had all the same feelings, he was my best friend and things were so comfortable with him, like we had never been apart. We have been texting, he wanted to meet again but I said it would not be a good idea as there are too many feelings involved. He would get back together if I said yes but I am just to scared to say it. I feel like I have built this massive guard and I dont want to let anyone in again. I do love him, always have but I dont know what to do. I have also told him he needs to have some therapy before I would even consider an 'us' again. For the first time since I have known him (10 years) he has been to the doctor and arranged an appointment. Has anyone taken a massive risk and gone back to someone they love who has hurt them? Should we be texting? It is only friendly things, nothing serious or relationship related
blue_jay_bird Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 (edited) I'd tell him 5/6 months is too soon. IT IS TOO SOON. I'm at 5/6 months... out of a LTR. If your not over them, their is no way this will work out....pff 5/6 months. Tell him, he really hurt you. That you don't trust yourself or him. That its too soon. THE TRUTH IS: If you start texting back and forth a small friendship, it will drive you crazy. You will want more, it will be like a game. A tug and pull. IT WON'T WORK, things will crash and burn. Too much emotions. To much everything. Too soon. In my OP. Just leave it at that. And go out and date. **** Him. He wants you as a friend...NO. You state....Has anyone taken a massive risk and gone back to someone they love who has hurt them? Should we be texting? It is only friendly things, nothing serious or relationship related. HE IS NOT THINKING THIS. He is thinking i want her around, i want her as a text/light friendship. You are thinking...this is my way back in. NO NO NO AND NO. State: NO i will not be your friend. Edited November 21, 2012 by blue_jay_bird
itsmyfault Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 Personally, I think 5/6 months is a fair amount of time. You both sounds like adults, So why not just ask him his intentions? Tell him you want the truth. If you still have a connection after that period of time, then it might be worth another shot. a lot can happen in 6 months. 2
Cutiepie1976 Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 What do you want? To get back together? To be friends? To be casual acquaintances? Let that guide your choices. Be clear about your intentions, both with yourself and with him.
Tiera D Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 it took me around a year with my 3rd ex now were quite ok,she was the dumper but im to blame in the breakup,i think time isnt that important,its the changes that are,im in your shoes as well at the moment,me and my ex is in pre-reconciliation stage,she made many 1st moves but im still too scared to open up TD 1
Author StellaA Posted November 22, 2012 Author Posted November 22, 2012 Interesting replies guys....Tiera A - Our Stories are similar.....I dumped him but he was to blame. I finally got the strength to leave him as he was not listening before, now he took me seriously and realised over the last 6 months what he has lost. I just dont know whether I will ever be able to let him again although I love and miss him so much. He seems to have changed and he is finally seeking help for some of the problems he has, first time since I have known him (10 years) he has done this. CutiePie1976 - I do want to get back with him but Im to scared to let him in again. We used to laugh and the texts are so normal.
Tiera D Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 Yes OP i really dont know what to do now,two days ago she was warm and nice even pulled me kissing and hold my hands,then today she isnt picking up the phone,i guess its back to NC,it doesnt seem like shes using me to get ego-boost,its been a year and she is always there whenever i need her..hate mixed signals TD
Author StellaA Posted November 23, 2012 Author Posted November 23, 2012 I think you have to talk to her and really find out where you are going, you dont want ot be stick in this place forever. I had to tell my ex that I care for him but we cant be together as I dont trust him and he has a lot of work to do on himself before he can make anyone else happy. Nobody knows what the future holds and we can never say never. I will be his friend right now but at leats we both know where we stand. I told him we cant meet as there are too many feeling involved. You need to be straight with her
Tiera D Posted November 24, 2012 Posted November 24, 2012 i did but she wants to take it slow,another problem she works out state and only comes back once a month,my ex does not like ultimatums,it makes us explode lol,im in dilemma concerning yours OP you must make him prove his worth,give him some obstacles to trial TD
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