If you look at someone, you should realize you're own physical attributes as well

[Imajerk17]

Approaching someone *in real life* requires confidence, approaching someone *online* not so much.

 

I'm a guy and I've gotten emails from women who are clearly not what I am looking for, to put it euphemistically (way too old, overweight and separated with 3 kids). I was tempted to put a line in my profile, but I get that it is a turn-off.

[AD1980]

Just because u hit on someone better looking then u doesnt mean u overinflate your attractiveness it just means you find somebody attractive and are willing to take a chance..Theyres a lot of stuck up looks nazis here lol..a

[MrCastle]

This "Just in"

 

Headliner of this lady (of course, she's been on POF forever and "doesn't want kids" thank heavens)

 

Headliner - All you short idiots creeps keep it moving!

 

She will be a mother some day. Beautiful thing

[Pompom]

Let's put it this way: I read once that men, while having high standards for women, often lack an honest awareness of their own attractiveness or lack thereof. While most women are concerned - and expected to be - about looking their best, some men fit the stereotype of an MMORPG and set out looking for Lara Croft, unaware of their looks being way below average. Good for them to be so confident, BUT...

 

I utterly scoff at men who are, say, a 1 to 6, and looking for a woman who is an 8 to 10. The same is true the other way around. Donna Simpson does not get to demand Brad Pitt. I think people should meet their own standards or make a visible attempt at trying and making the best of what they have to work with.

 

I mean, one can always try and aim high - but don't confuse that with putting down what you deem beneath you. Yes, you should feel free to try with people you find attractive, even those "above" your league. But don't be a jerk when those below your league try with you as they are only doing what you are doing yourself, and don't forget that you're not the best out there either. No one is, someone will always make a former 10 look like a 2 in comparison. Compared to Emma Watson, I'm not the 10 I am compared to Oprah. But this is my opinion; someone else may find me better than Emma Watson, or Oprah better than me.

Bottom line is, we can spend all day assigning leagues and numbers but someone will always genuinely disagree and who is anyone to say that their standards are correct beyond their own personal opinion?

 

Yet, I will not be criticized for my looks by a guy who doesn't only have a fat ass like me, but unlike me, also a fat greasy porous zit-covered hairy two-chinned face with a receding hairline. Such a man is not to voice things like "Ahahaha sorry but your kinda big". He is allowed to think it as we are all hypocrites to some extent, but I find people voicing such thoughts, when they are in no such position, highly disrespectable. They should just respectfully decline, not judge what they could be judged for themselves. Pot kettle black, I guess.

 

I mean, sometimes it's difficult. What if your face is a solid 10 and your body a 1? Some people have an even distribution of points, I mean, Face 8, boobs 9, body 7, teeth 9, hands 8 or whatever, and then we can put an average of 8 or 9 on that. But would it be fair to a 10 face pushing 20, to be demoted over a 2 or 3 body?

And then there is that fact that not all people attach so much importance to looks. I don't care for the "shallow" label and I have standards when it comes to looks but I have known myself and others to feel genuinely attracted to people commonly considered "ugly", for their charisma and personality, and even because they disagreed about their crush being ugly. Yes, this happens. And I don't think anyone should consider that to be "a shame". Whatever you or your partner look like, being happy together is what should matter.

 

IMO, Generally men should at least date someone Within their league. He should try to shoot upward too. (who likes a man with no ambition?)

It's a shame to date someone below his looks. Can you imagine your BF prettier and fitter than you?

Yes, because while I do believe that looks are an important factor in attraction, the definition of beauty and sexiness varies from one individual to another and what you may deem below someone's league, that someone may deem freaking gorgeous. And I do not think it's a "shame", because it doesn't matter if other people think that your partner is unattractive or below your league as long as you are, for whatever reason, happy with and attracted to them.

Everyone has to decide for themselves whether or not they want to play the league and numbers game, and what numbers they want to assign to people, or how much importance to attach to looks in the first place. It's not our place to judge and question someone else's choices as long as all those involved are happy with them. In my opinion, this is different from one flawed person putting down another for similar flaws.

 

Again, numbers and leagues are individual. For example, I like Middle-Eastern men with a strong (not: huge) nose, some facial hair (stubble, not Wolverine!), tan skin, wiry black hair, and big shiny dark eyes with thick lashes and brows. They're not always the tallest, though usually as tall as me. If it weren't a cultural taboo, I would be dating Arabs. I think they're beautiful and hot. So I look for Yemenite and other Middle-Eastern Jews.

But to many Caucasians, this is too far removed from ideal men as depicted in mainstream media: light, smooth, and that small straight nose. So when they see a Caucasian female who is good-looking or beyond, they may wonder what she wants with that Mid-East guy when she could do "better". Who is to say that she has to agree that he is below her league? Maybe she blushes everytime she sees his face because to her he's just that beautiful. I've had men jizz on their feet looking at me, while others shook their heads and walked out for the same reasons, and they were all various numbers - so now what?