If you look at someone, you should realize you're own physical attributes as well

[iris219]

She may be one one of the VERY few that actually states this in their profile, but it makes me wonder how many are actually THINKING this.

 

EVERY person is thinking that they want someone they are attracted to, and we're usually attracted to people who are around the same attractiveness level.

 

For some reason, there are men on here who think attractive women should be attracted to unattractive men, yet those same men don't want unattractive women.

[EasyHeart]

Exactly, and that being said, is it REALLY true that women who keep repetitively saying, "I just LOVE a man with confidence!"

 

Is just a farse?

Women love a man with REAL confidence.

 

Confidence comes from repeatedly being successful at something. If I spend thousands of hours alone in my bedroom practicing an instrument, I can be confident that when I get on stage I will be able to play. Bragging about how great I am or telling myself that I am a great guitar player is not going to make me any good. Or to use my earlier example, I could walk out onto an NFL field with plenty of swagger and trash-talk my opponents, but when it comes time to play, by ribs are going to get broken and I'm going to cough my spleen out of my mouth.

 

Trying to fake confidence doesn't work. You have to earn it.

[xxoo]

Exactly, and that being said, is it REALLY true that women who keep repetitively saying, "I just LOVE a man with confidence!"

 

Is just a farse?

 

It's true that confidence is attractive. Or maybe truer that confident people act in attractive ways.

 

Not all women are the same, and some are more shallow than others. From what I can see, OLD seems to be a playground for the shallow.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Actually, this post is a segway (spelling?) into confidence. It's funny how women love a man with confidence, but also should realize who he should NOT approach.

 

Doesn't that contradict the values of confidence?

 

A man should be able to approach ANY women (regardless of her own looks), is a confident man, right?

 

A truly confident man will feel like he has a fine chance with this woman and then go ahead and contact her. Even if he does not rate himself on a numerical scale the way she did. And he will easily deal with it if it isn't happening. His sense of self and emotional well being is not tied up with what random Internet daters think of him.

[IT Geek]

A truly confident man will feel like he has a fine chance with this woman and then go ahead and contact her. Even if he does not rate himself on a numerical scale the way she did. And he will easily deal with it if it isn't happening. His sense of self and emotional well being is not tied up with what random Internet daters think of him.

 

But how can you rate a man's confidence level through a profile and email message?

[Emilia]

But how can you rate a man's confidence level through a profile and email message?

 

You can by judging how at ease he is with himself, how chatty he is, how quickly he initiates meeting up.

[Mme. Chaucer]

But how can you rate a man's confidence level through a profile and email message?

 

I don't think you can. I was talking about the point of view of the confident man himself. Whether the woman is going to respond to that or to anything about him is not really relevant. If you have real confidence, it's not dependent about what others think about or act towards you. Confident people just go for it anyway.

[EasyHeart]

I don't have any personal experience with OLD, but from what I've gathered reading posts here, the internet allows men to be "confident" about approaching many women they probably would not approach in real life where they would have to face immediate and direct rejection. I suspect that's what is behind the woman in the OP essentially saying, "C'mon guys. Be serious."

[AD1980]

So true, though , I sometimes wonder if women are "thinking" this. I've actually seen women post "Plenty of fish? More like Plenty of MIDGETS!" in her headliner.

 

Apparently, she's wanting a certain height of men to contact her, only to be contacted by men that don't meet her height criteria.

 

She's swimming in a sea of short guys apparently, so of course, she's still single, still on the site.

 

There's just perhaps a short population of women that actually VOICE what they're thinking, but of those, how many are keeping it to themselves?

 

All in all, I think it's quite presumptuous to be coined an "Idiot" if you approach or contact a woman that you should no better NOT to contact based her looks. As if she thinks you're stupid for contact her because "sheesh, this dude contacted, look how ugly he is!! What an idiot for even approaching!"

 

Plenty of fish is the biggest anti short guy site ive ever seen..

 

You go oon the forum there and the stuff they say about short men is amazing..and a lot of these women are far from prizes themslves yet they feel the need to put short guys down..its like they dont own mirrors..

 

POF is basically blah looking women looking to be pumped and dumped by hot men

[AD1980]

Exactly, and that being said, is it REALLY true that women who keep repetitively saying, "I just LOVE a man with confidence!"

 

Is just a farse?

 

Confidence is an overused vague fluff cliche word in the dating world..its not a magic pill to make women magically attracted to you..

 

All it really means if you look through the facade is women wanting good looking men to have the balls to approach them so they dont have to risk rejection

[GirlontheLam]

Well, this particular woman is in her late 30's early 40's. But from her looks, she is keen on fashion, and probably into superficial relationships considering how she probably would not set foot in a Target or only shops at "Sharper Image" for electronics.

 

Clueless. Most people go to Target.

Even the fashionistas.

 

Walmart on the other hand......

[GirlontheLam]

So basically she said she only wants attractive people to talk to her. But there is no universal attractiveness. Personally, I think Ryan Gosling and Robert Pattinson are not attractive. Other people, I am aware, think they are super hot. So how do you know what her standards are? I think Vin Diesel, The Rock, Tyson Beckford, Jason Statham and Bradley Cooper are really hot.

 

My 10 may be another woman's 5.

 

I really don't believe in leagues at all. For some people my attractiveness is much high. For others it is lower. Sometimes I attract people I would consider super good looking. Other times I attract people that are average. Am I average? Below average? Am I good looking? Who knows, depends on who is doing the rating.

 

All I know is I don't think I am unattractive, and that's enough for me.

[veggirl]

God people are so embarrassing. "message me if you are equally attractive". I mean who could sit down and write that with a straight face and not feel like totally weird about it. Then again I'd die before I put up a "sexy santa" type of pic of me too. lol god what if your coworkers or neighbor came across that stuff?

 

I seriously laughed at the "hey there fellow 6!"

 

I think if you OLD putting up "rules" as to who can contact you is pointless, isn't it? and in the case of "be at least a 7" or whatever it just makes you look stuck up. Is it so hard to just delete the msgs you are not interested in? IDK I don't OLD so maybe it is.

[irc333]

Plenty of fish is the biggest anti short guy site ive ever seen..

 

You go oon the forum there and the stuff they say about short men is amazing..and a lot of these women are far from prizes themslves yet they feel the need to put short guys down..its like they dont own mirrors..

 

POF is basically blah looking women looking to be pumped and dumped by hot men

 

Yeah, I'd taken a break from POF for a while,and these same chronically, superficial women are still on the site. LOL

[mesmerized]

You said she is hot and she expects hot. What is the problem here exactly? Good for her.

[mesmerized]

God people are so embarrassing. "message me if you are equally attractive". I mean who could sit down and write that with a straight face and not feel like totally weird about it. Then again I'd die before I put up a "sexy santa" type of pic of me too. lol god what if your coworkers or neighbor came across that stuff?

 

I seriously laughed at the "hey there fellow 6!"

 

I think if you OLD putting up "rules" as to who can contact you is pointless, isn't it? and in the case of "be at least a 7" or whatever it just makes you look stuck up. Is it so hard to just delete the msgs you are not interested in? IDK I don't OLD so maybe it is.

 

It IS trust me, it's annoying. A guy friend of mine who I said this to first thought Im being stuck up and just have very high standards. Then I showed him some pics of the guys and he felt for me. I also know guys who just hate when much less attractive women message them.

[MrCastle]

I've always wondered my female equivalent

 

Put a wig on and look in the mirror.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I think the problem is that most people are over-confident. Most people (men and women) only really put an effort into pursuing someone that is much better looking than them (sorry - I do believe that beauty for the most part is objective). This is mostly due to the fact that they perceive themselves as better looking that they actually are. This can only work with people that have extremely low self-esteem. So if you see couples with large discrepancy in looks, the better looking one has low self-esteem. Or the guy is loaded Guaranteed.

 

It reminds me of this guy that is mildly mentally disabled, below average looking, still lives with his parents at 30 and has never had a gf. Only girls he pursues are girls in the 7-10 range. He doesn't have a chance in hell, has never even gotten a single date. I know his whole family and his mum always kept telling him that he is great looking, super intelligent and that all girls that reject him are insane. As a result, he doesn't see himself realistically, is over confident to the point of delusional and will most likely end up alone. If he only had a reality check and pursued girls that are more on level with him, he may have a shot at happiness.

 

All around me, I see messages like "Be confident!" "Think positive!" They seriously make me want to jump off the cliff

[AlexDP]

People tend to rate their own attractiveness based on who they can attract. If you attract good looking people, then you must be good looking yourself, right? So when women get loads of messages from lots of guys, she figures that she must be very attractive. Hence, her standards go up based on her artificially inflated sense of her own attractiveness.

 

Unfortunately, most of these guys aren't necessarily interested in her, they're interested that she's a girl. It's an unfortunate dynamic.

 

It's not artificially inflated, since lots of guys message her.

[irc333]

It's not artificially inflated, since lots of guys message her.

 

 

This "Just in"

 

Headliner of this lady (of course, she's been on POF forever and "doesn't want kids" thank heavens)

 

Headliner - All you short idiots creeps keep it moving!

[veggirl]

It IS trust me, it's annoying. A guy friend of mine who I said this to first thought Im being stuck up and just have very high standards. Then I showed him some pics of the guys and he felt for me. I also know guys who just hate when much less attractive women message them.

 

Well yeah I can understand being annoyed by those messages and whatnot, although like ES said I think a lot of people overestimate their own attractiveness. It just seems bizarre to put "be hot like me" or some such thing on your profile, I don't know if I read that it would leave a bitter taste in my mouth.

[irc333]

Well, I have had much less attractive women contact me, but I don't get annoyed, but I get a certain "ick" factor when I see them. They actually look like the people you'd see on Jerry Springer.

 

 

Well yeah I can understand being annoyed by those messages and whatnot, although like ES said I think a lot of people overestimate their own attractiveness. It just seems bizarre to put "be hot like me" or some such thing on your profile, I don't know if I read that it would leave a bitter taste in my mouth.

[yongyong]

It's funny to see how Women respond to this thread. It's fun to observe them like hamsters in a cage. they act differently depending on the situation. (before you get offended listen to what I say)

 

They are basically saying 'confident man approaches someone out of their league' (upward)

They are saying this because the woman's profile comes off as rude.

 

What if a guy made a thread talking about he is 7 and he doesn't want to deal with women lower than 7 and only wants to date upward?

I am sure all women are going to scream about 'it's about personality, you are shallow'

 

IMO, Generally men should at least date someone Within their league. He should try to shoot upward too. (who likes a man with no ambition?)

It's a shame to date someone below his looks. Can you imagine your BF prettier and fitter than you?

[Els]

Actually, this post is a segway (spelling?) into confidence. It's funny how women love a man with confidence, but also should realize who he should NOT approach.

 

Doesn't that contradict the values of confidence?

 

Because one woman has the right to speak for all women just because she's a barbie-lookalike, yeah?

[dasein]

Have seen many profiles like that. Even dated some early on when new to OLD. Avoid. There are much better more subtle ways that quality people can say that they are looking for an attractive person in good shape. Privileged attitude, unrealistic expectations. Danger Will Robinson!