kyle77 Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 How do I prepare myself for my ex to start dating someone else. Anyone have any ideas or expertise in this matter? I dont want to freak out or do anything stupid. But I get this feeling that it is going to be very traumatizing if it does happen....
lakerman34 Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 How do I prepare myself for my ex to start dating someone else. Anyone have any ideas or expertise in this matter? I dont want to freak out or do anything stupid. But I get this feeling that it is going to be very traumatizing if it does happen.... I can help you here. I'm a college student. I dated a girl for 7 months and can tell you that I've dated many girls before, she was the first one I fell in love with. I loved her for her mind, and ALL I wanted to do was make her happy. Well, I'm 22 and graduating in a couple of weeks, she's 19. She joined a sorority and wanted to party and be with her new sisters, meet new people, and I wanted her to hang out with me, have movie nights, and all that. She couldn't juggle both and, although she claimed to be in love with me, she chose the sorority. Now, at the time (this was 6.5 weeks ago), I knew I had only 2 months of college left, and I knew her last 'boyfriend' (he was just a hook up buddy) 'dated' her for 2 months, then starting seeing a new girl. It took her 3 months to 'move on' so to speak, and then she found me. Knowing this, I didn't think I'd have to worry about another guy. Boy, was I wrong. 3 WEEKS later, after all her friends telling me that I was 'the one' for her and she wanted me back (but her pride got in the way of coming to talk to me) I saw her making out with another guy at a party. Only 10 feet in front of me. I ran back to my dorm, cried to my roommates (which is quite a sight b/c I'm 6' tall, a stereotypical 'tough' guy meathead), and punched anything in sight. I thought that was it. She was very drunk and just hooked up with a guy. That was 3.5 weeks ago, and boy was I wrong. They are dating, and I'm told she's over me and very happy with the new boy. So much for being in love... My advice to you: It's going to be hard, yes. Don't make an ass of yourself, don't lose your composure, and NEVER show weakness in front of her, her friends, or mutual friends. What I did was DEACTIVATE my social networking accounts and BLOCKED them so I can't access them. I thought just defriending her would work, but I went to her FB JUST to see her profile picture. Then I blocked her, but then I started going to her mutual friend's profiles. The best thing you can do is COMPLETELY get rid of social media for a while. Out of sight, out of mind, and ignorance is truly bliss. Don't DOUBLE, but TRIPLE your efforts to stay away from her. Fall of the face of the earth, and find a new hobby. Mine is photography. I had a sick Canon EOS that I had NO idea how to use, so I took a class and I'm going to a wolf reservation this weekend to try it out. Also, keep telling yourself that SHE ISN'T WORTH IT. I know my girl downgraded. She went from Adonis to Joe Schmo. Keep telling yourself that there will be a girl in the future that will love you for you and will make this girl look like a JOKE. Keep reminding yourself of her flaws. My girl sucked at sex (and I'm pretty good, so right away compatibility isn't there ), couldn't commit, had horse teeth, started smoking a pack a day after our breakup, I could go ON and ON. Hang out with your bros. Immerse yourself in the moment. Go see a counselor if you need to. You'll get to the point where you'll be bored of talking about her and there will be nothing else to say. So, all in all, press the PERMANENTLY DELETE button on her, and just make yourself better. I can't say this works for everybody, but I was 95% over her and had trouble getting over the hump. This past weekend, I got with a VERY sexy girl at a party, brought her home, had some fun, and it just made me feel like I'm still wanted by the opposite sex and made me realize how bad my girl was in bed. I'm at the point of pitying her new boyfriend, like seriously, how can you be happy in a relationship when you're bored during lovemaking? I'm not saying this is going to work for you. Getting under a girl to get over a girl ONLY works when you're PRETTY MUCH over her already. Just do you, man. Enjoy single life. Realize that your happiness isn't contingent on some girl, but is contingent on YOU. Do something you normally wouldn't do. Plan a random fishing trip with your bros. Take on Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Learn/perfect your cooking skills. Man, it does WONDERS, and someday, there will be a girl that LOVES your cooking (or whatever), and when a thought of your ex comes up, you'll do what I'm doing now, shake your head, roll your eyes, be happy that it happened but laugh about it. That's life, my friend. 3
spaniard Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 (edited) Lakerman's post should be printed on your wall and you should re-read every time you need. It summarizes pretty much everything you have do to after a break up. The break up period, as I soon realized is (at least for me) a period when your motivation level is sky high. You are overwhelmed with negative emotions that can be turned into motivation and determination. Its hard to do, but if you can look at a break up as an opportunity for self-improvement, it can honestly turn into a pretty exciting experience. You need to figure out what's best for you. You need to make some mistakes and then you need to learn from them. That's the only way to really grow out of this. Edited November 21, 2012 by spaniard
YorickBrown Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 (edited) How do I prepare myself for my ex to start dating someone else. Anyone have any ideas or expertise in this matter? I dont want to freak out or do anything stupid. But I get this feeling that it is going to be very traumatizing if it does happen.... What do you mean by "if it does happen"?!? If you're already here on LS...its MOST LIKELY happening already or HAS ALREADY happened. Am I right? Well, you've come to the "right" place, and I like your "pro-active" attitude (that will help you a lot) Now, here's the MOST PRACTICAL (AND PROBABLY THE VERY FIRST and ABOVE ALL) thing you should do before you totally break away or let your gf go on her "merry f*cking way"....wait, you guys did have sex right??? (and no, beejays dont count...anal might...but..anyways)...If you did, MAKE the FRIGGIN SURE she's "clean of your DNA" (got her menstrual cycle back online, and don't friggin f*ck her again, even in the ass!)...that MEANS SHE DOESN'T HAVE OR WILL NOT HAVE YOUR BABY. Believe you me, YOU DO NOT WANT THAT in your friggin head (im currently speaking from experience). Now as for "preparation".... or the "process" as I would much prefer to call it...works differently from individual to individual (it may take longer or the steps wont be chronological)...Like I said, it's a process really (im not going through the whole thing with you step by step coz I have a lot on my plate right now) but basically you have to remember these two words: Occupy and Exhaust. That simply means, whatever you do to "prepare for the process"...it has to OCCUPY & EXHAUST your mind, body and (lets throw in spirit in there) as much as you can take...Mentally, Physically and Spirtually if you will. Example: Mentally: Watch marathon movies like the whole day and night until your eyes bleed (break up movies, porn, horror, or a combination of everything) Of course, watching porn and jacking off would probably do the trick also---its going to make you sleepy.... Or go to the library and read a book (boring but it has its perks), it makes me doze off personally (no, i do not jerk off there!). And who knows? You might see & meet the hot perky librarian (they're usually easy to approach, hence an easy mark , just "know" in advance who their favorite writers are). Ask her to help you find the book of Kama Sutra (the very very first edition)...and pray that's in the farthest and most hidden part of the library. Physically: This is quite obvious, get a sport, the more physical and gruelling the better. Dont go home until every bone in your body aches and all you want to do is lie down and sleep...Wake up and do it again the next day or even later in the day. Of course, going to the gym has its obvious perks but that's cliche (you'd probably just get insecure or jealous in there) and pathetic if you ask me. So, if you're not really into the above (coz you're a lazy ass)....the fastest way to get "exhausted" physically is....why get laid of course!!! Again and again and again...How? Hookers!!!!--but prettier & sexier than your ex of course (and of course, i dont need to explain how "dirty & dangerous" and "expensive" this can get for you, especially if you get the threesome or "twins" package --but that's what they're there for). Or, if you can pull it off....and you're really a great guy to be with, find a group of your ex's "girlfriends or acquaintances" and turn one or two or three of them into a "friends with benefits-rebound-therapy-f*ck-buddies" Now that would payback! Although, that can get "complicated" fast and probably back-fire on you in the long-term (based on experience). I'll stick to hookers. Spiritually. Uhmmmm... I got nuthin...uhmmm...maybe join the Mormons? Or I know...find young nuns in the monastery and seek "solace and comfort"? Nowhere can you find more virgins in one place, I doze off listening to them also. Just dont make a "habit" of it (get it? )....Ahhh...f*ck it...just go find hookers (they'll do all the kneeling) Edited November 22, 2012 by YorickBrown
Recommended Posts