boblet Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 so.... my ex messaged me for my birthday.... it hurt so much when I thought he wouldn't, and now that he did, it gave me so much anxiety, I replied to him and he never got back to me, it just makes me feel horrible again.... it sucks going NC but I find it more bearable than the anxiety of constantly checking to see if he messaged back... strange enough, I deleted him off fb, and he messaged me there, I found it strange he didn't text, so now I wonder if he remembered or if he saw mutual friends talking about me, because he messaged kind of late.... I wondered throughout the day if he would message.. and right after he messaged me, he put new pictures on fb, and put them on public... I don't understand, this dumper ego mess, it's almost cruel how they don't want you to move on even though they've rejected you.... the message didn't even mean much, it was so abrupt,and ended with a bye.. it's probably silly but seeing that bye abruptly made me feel left behind all over again.. I hate these flood of memories, and all this pain I feel inside I don't even understand why exactly I'm hurting right now.... I'm so sick of this.... it's not fair how one-sided it seems...
LostOne1 Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 I think your hurting because you heard from him. And sure it wasn't a I miss you, I want you back thing. But it hurts to hear from someone, that we are trying to forget and get rid of. To be honest after reading your post it makes me wonder if in Jan I should text my ex or not on her bday. I mean part of me says why? she's not a part of me now and if I text it shows I care. At the same time, I would want to because I forgot her bday the 1st year and felt bad and ever since then I always spent it with her. I kinda wish my bday came first, so I could see if she would text me or not. And based off that I would decide to text her or not on hers. I don't know.. I think her hearing from me would hurt her like it's hurting you today. My ex probably wants to forget me and never hear from me again. And hearing from me on her bday might be tough for her. But I dunno.. I'd do it maybe only because she used to do a lot for me on my birthdays. I guess when Jan comes I'll decide and who knows. If I forget about her by then or forget her bday then it won't even matter anyways.
Helluva Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 You should take him wishing you happy birthday as showing that there's still a part of him that cares about you, though it's not how you want him to. I think having him not talk to you at all would leave you feeling more depressed over the idea of him not taking five seconds to wish you a happy birthday. Try not to look too into his actions. It will drive you crazy and you don't need that as you're trying to move on from somebody. Block him on Facebook if that's what it takes to keep part of your sanity.
not-a-drive-by Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 You should take him wishing you happy birthday as showing that there's still a part of him that cares about you, though it's not how you want him to. Yes, that is how I see it too. My birthday was on Sunday and for weeks/months I dreaded the day. I didn't know whether he would message me since we have been in NC for over 2 months. I kept wondering if I was still on his mind or if he still cared. He did message me, which took me by surprise and made my heart skip a beat. To be honest, I feel happy that he messaged. I said thanks and expected nothing more , and of course nothing more came out of it.
Author boblet Posted November 22, 2012 Author Posted November 22, 2012 Thanks everyone, I do believe he cares to an extent, however I find since going NC he has tried to get my attention on fb, and it's just I found it strange he fb messaged when I deleted him, when he could have just texted.... I think he fb messaged so I'd go on his profile and see the pictures set on public, so I honestly don't know at this point if it was about me or getting me hung over him.... but you are right, doesn't make sense reading into it, I ended up messaging back saying I hope he's alright and all that, and no reply after 2 days... this is why NC is so much better, everytime contact is initiated I almost have to wean myself off it again, it has gotten better though... back to NC, and I think I will block him, I'm a bit impulsive and I'm afraid I won't stick to it.. argh fb is the devil
Author boblet Posted November 22, 2012 Author Posted November 22, 2012 i just found out my best friend messaged him to tell him it was my birthday... he forgot..
not-a-drive-by Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 i just found out my best friend messaged him to tell him it was my birthday... he forgot.. Don't dwell on that thought too much, sweetie. For all I know, maybe my ex had an alert on his phone that he forgot to remove. Take it for what it is. He messaged you 'happy birthday', even though he forgot. He could have chose not to message you at all.
Charmy Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 moving on 12, great advice, I even printed it, good luck!
Recommended Posts