Els Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 Leigh, I think you actually have a lot to be grateful for. You need to sit down and reflect about all that instead of whizzing through your rollercoaster emotional ups and downs with your life and your relationships. ":(" really does not deserve to be part of your vocabulary at this point. 2
theLWord Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 (edited) Chronicles of rich kids and their not so problem problems. Leigh, one day you'll learn that material possessions don't matter. Hopefully you are really grateful for your parents and by the time they are gone, hopefully you can take care of yourself. I tried to follow your story but mostly just read about what you or your bf own /have. It sounds like you obsess about every little detail. Some proper counseling might help. You and your bf probably have co dependency issues. I'm not a shrink so dont obsess over that. As far as the hooker thing, I've never heard of anyone actually doing that, (but I'm not a spoiled rich kid).but if you are fine with him banging hookers, who cares what other people think. As you grow up, you'll also realize that you are the only one that has to live with your thoughts. If you aren't happy in your relationship or feel your bf ”does not not love you” or what the hell ever, then leave. Or drive yourself into an expensive stay at a psychward obsessing about it. You wouldn't have to pay anyway I'm sure. Btw I'm the same age as you, but you seem out of touch with reality. Maybe instead of trying to mommy your bf and obsess over whether he can love you and bang hookers, you should put time into soul searching. You can only lean on people, even your family for so long. Eventually the people will leave,.people die,.and you will be there by yourself. If you can't love and be by yourself, no relationship will last. Worry about if you love yourself. Edited November 22, 2012 by theLWord
AlexDP Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 His father brought a house for him when he was 15, to set him up for life; he will wait many years until the house hs quintupled his original value, and then sell it and retire young. I had no idea about all of this until a week or two after meeting him, and it has had NO BEARING over my decision to be with him:sick: I would want to stick by Andrew through sickness or in health with him losing everything. Additionally to owning a house, he also owns half of his dead mothers house.... So he has more money than my mother does from 50 years of hard work:sick: You would never guess Andrew was rich for his age/work history, as he is not very adept at taking care of his skin with moisterizer or even shampoo half of the time, and is very..... blue collar in his approach to life, and in his vocabulary. Not that I am a genius. But you know, he does not come across like he has money. ..... he has a low paid job right now and is working his way up to a high paying job, so he has literally NO CASH in pocket, and is about 17 - 20 thousand in dept. *sigh* we will not be travelling overseas for at least another YEAR:( If you're really serious about studying, clean up your spelling. In nearly every field you will have to write papers and your spelling errors will reflect poorly on your grades. English isn't my first (nor second) language, but I'm guessing it is yours. If it isn't, I apologise.
JamesM Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 Alex, one word: typos. I am very particular about my spelling, but every once ina while a typo ggets by me. And when I type a lomg post, then emotions can getthe best of me so that a word or two gets by me...even though I know how to spell it. Now...I purposely left that last paragraph a mess to show how it happens. Normally, I go back and correct everything. This time I did not.
SmileFace Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 Didn't you have the idea of him sleeping with a hooker? Didn't you sleep with the hooker too? So wouldn't you be the one who can't actually be "in love" with him? Leigh logic... I swear. 1
Author Leigh 87 Posted November 23, 2012 Author Posted November 23, 2012 Didn't you have the idea of him sleeping with a hooker? Didn't you sleep with the hooker too? So wouldn't you be the one who can't actually be "in love" with him? Leigh logic... I swear. I did let him and I was fine with it at first, but as we got more serious, I just did not think it would allow us to have a healthy relationship.... Although I think it is natural for some men to be madly in love and be able to have meaningless sex with hookers, I still think it is safer for us to stay within the confines of a traditional relationship. I think it is just who Andrew is: in love with the IDEA of living out the ultimate "male" fantasy, thinking about threesomes and orgies and the crazy stuff he always wanted to try (and DID with me, somewhat) I think he would have done it with other girls he truly loved. He is just cut frm a different cloth from men who can simple not be sexual in any way with a women, once they are in love with their partner....
Author Leigh 87 Posted November 23, 2012 Author Posted November 23, 2012 If you're really serious about studying, clean up your spelling. In nearly every field you will have to write papers and your spelling errors will reflect poorly on your grades. English isn't my first (nor second) language, but I'm guessing it is yours. If it isn't, I apologise. It is called spell check; and it has created an extremely lazy generation of people that do not have to spell; as everything is done on computers that correct your errors for you! And I have a handle on how to use propper grammar, enough to write essays thanks.... I have written college level essays and done just fine. When I have propper ideas to start with I can structure them (much easier than the jumble in my head!) What's more, my mother is an english teacher and has taught foreign kids english for many years.... So I did not exactly grow up with a poor example of how to talk/speak to people.... MOST of my boyfriends friends cannot tell the difference between than/then and too/to, and they all have full time jobs.....
Author Leigh 87 Posted November 23, 2012 Author Posted November 23, 2012 Leigh, I think you actually have a lot to be grateful for. You need to sit down and reflect about all that instead of whizzing through your rollercoaster emotional ups and downs with your life and your relationships. ":(" really does not deserve to be part of your vocabulary at this point. Oh. Um, in spite of my sadness that is alluded to on here, I am FAR FROM SAD in real life!!!!!!!! I am just looking forward to working and studying again, and until I start those things I get anxious and have time to feel mroe negative than I would otherwise allow myself to. I have poor will power and tend to need to be kept busy with life to be healthy and not indulge in silly sh*t.
AlexDP Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 Alex, one word: typos. I am very particular about my spelling, but every once ina while a typo ggets by me. And when I type a lomg post, then emotions can getthe best of me so that a word or two gets by me...even though I know how to spell it. Now...I purposely left that last paragraph a mess to show how it happens. Normally, I go back and correct everything. This time I did not. One or two spelling mistakes in a paragraph means you were a bit lazy and were not paying attention. Leigh has a history of making much more mistakes than that and people who are lazy with their spelling tend to be lazy with their thoughts as well. Which Leight definitely is. She just pours out the thoughts without any self reflection whatsoever.
Author Leigh 87 Posted November 23, 2012 Author Posted November 23, 2012 (edited) One or two spelling mistakes in a paragraph means you were a bit lazy and were not paying attention. Leigh has a history of making much more mistakes than that and people who are lazy with their spelling tend to be lazy with their thoughts as well. Which Leight definitely is. She just pours out the thoughts without any self reflection whatsoever. Look, I mix in circles that include both white and blue collar folks. I DO NOT spell like a lot of the blue collars; who cannot determine the correct usage of their/there/they're or to/too. They do not have a lower IQ than some of the white collars, however, they LACK an extensive vocabulary and have below average grammatical skills. I talk to white collar people who have degrees and I do not speak or write any differently to them. I do not stand out as the "uneducated one" of the group, when it comes to people who have degrees, all standing in a room, talking amongst ourselves in a group. You don't have a clue what truly uneducated is. Edited November 23, 2012 by Leigh 87
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 Look, I mix in circles that include both white and blue collar folks. Leigh, the way you write is not related to whether you or anybody else is blue or white collar. You tell us you are going to pursue a University degree soon. Well, you need to hold yourself to to the same standard of correctness in written expression as the rest of us if you really, seriously intend to go through with that. You are not magically going to transform from a completely careless writer to someone who can express themselves clearly and in an organized fashion just because you happen to be in a class. Trust me on this. If you are in school and honestly headed for a life where you work and support yourself, and are accountable for yourself in every way, you will need to quit falling back on your "issues" to excuse yourself for every kind of self indulgence. Why don't you use your impressive amount of posting time here on LoveShack to practice self editing and clear expression to help you get ready to be in school. If you really have problems organizing your thoughts that you cannot overcome, that would be something that you can get help for - which will certainly aid you in becoming a self sufficient adult. 1
AlexDP Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 Leigh, the way you write is not related to whether you or anybody else is blue or white collar. You tell us you are going to pursue a University degree soon. Well, you need to hold yourself to to the same standard of correctness in written expression as the rest of us if you really, seriously intend to go through with that. You are not magically going to transform from a completely careless writer to someone who can express themselves clearly and in an organized fashion just because you happen to be in a class. Trust me on this. If you are in school and honestly headed for a life where you work and support yourself, and are accountable for yourself in every way, you will need to quit falling back on your "issues" to excuse yourself for every kind of self indulgence. Why don't you use your impressive amount of posting time here on LoveShack to practice self editing and clear expression to help you get ready to be in school. If you really have problems organizing your thoughts that you cannot overcome, that would be something that you can get help for - which will certainly aid you in becoming a self sufficient adult. I didn't put it so eloquently, but this is exactly what I meant.
JamesM Posted November 24, 2012 Posted November 24, 2012 Okay, now that everyone has given their opinion regarding Leigh' spelling, can we focus on her original problem here? If we commented to every thread starter about their typos, grammar and spelling, then we would never really answer their questions, now would we? 3
Author Leigh 87 Posted November 24, 2012 Author Posted November 24, 2012 No your alluding to me being not intelligent enough to bloody spell and use grammar. You need to take a look at MOST people out there; MOST people do not have degrees, and are not well versed at writing essays! I would say I do not fall bellow average in the grammar, writing and vocabulary department (when comparing myself to other young adults) On the other hand, I could certainly take more time to post, rather than just write out everytihng that comes to mind right away; that part I agree with. Perhaps if I organised my thoughts before I wrote them down, things could sound clearer.
Author Leigh 87 Posted November 24, 2012 Author Posted November 24, 2012 In regards to becoming a totally self sufficient adult (whilst I study) There is no way I am going to study AND work full time; not unless I absolutely HAD to (in order to have a happy life). As it turns out, I have other options that would also make me happy and work out for me. My plan was to study full time, get my degree out of the way in my 20;s, while I work PART time. I would pay for my own food and everything besides rent; I would pay for petrol but use my parents car, or catch a train or walk to Uni (if they do not let me use their car) If I needed to work full time in order to be totally self sufficient, with NO parental help, I would have to work full time, and in which case I would opt to study PART time.
Joaquin Posted November 24, 2012 Posted November 24, 2012 (edited) 10 char ............... Edited November 24, 2012 by Joaquin
Author Leigh 87 Posted November 24, 2012 Author Posted November 24, 2012 As to the original thread, I do not doubt Andrew is in love with me in a way that is enough to be together for a long time, so I am not having any negative thoughts regarding his love.
dumPI Posted November 24, 2012 Posted November 24, 2012 I just got a headache trying to understand this thread lol
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 24, 2012 Posted November 24, 2012 In regards to becoming a totally self sufficient adult (whilst I study) That's not what I'm talking about. I am talking about the steps you are REALLY, TRULY going to need to take in order to prepare yourself to EVER be a totally self sufficient adult. You are not taking ANY of them right now. Even starting a thread like this is backsliding for you if that is a serious goal you have. Honestly.
Author Leigh 87 Posted November 26, 2012 Author Posted November 26, 2012 Hang on, So enrolling in Uni, looking for full time work daily, and seeing a therapist is not taking ANY steps? I think you need to take a good look at what I have achieved (which I did under FAR WORSE circumstances than my current predicament) Your starting to become a bully, frankly: I am telling you the steps I am indefinatly going to take towwards my future, and yet you just say they are all pointless and useless. I am a fair judge as to what I can achieve under certain mental states: I got 93% in my college entrance score when I was FAR WORSE OFF than this; when I had anorexia and was very ill. So, I think I will manage one of the easiest degrees when I am a healthy weight, and am more mentally healthy. What's more, I am studying subjects I WANT, rather than the science and linguistiuc courses I had to do (YUCK I hated them BOTH) in order to get INTO a degree. I was basically more sick and doing subjects I hated, yet still manage to get high distinctions, back in 2009. I am in a .. MUCH better place now. The best part, is I know what true happiness is now. I was merely living before, greatfull, but due to the anorexia, I never really dfelt true joy. Only grattitude for being alive (which is great!) but I never go tot laugh with friends, or enjoy.... normal every day things. I am actually VERY excited about studying. ............................................................................................... The driving force behind meaningless and unecessary posts about Andrew, is largely down to the fact I am not stimulated enough. Set study, abnd towards a professional future, will REALLY give my life a new meaning. I doubt I will have time to even hang out with Andrew much, much less write futile threads about him.
Author Leigh 87 Posted November 26, 2012 Author Posted November 26, 2012 And LOL, to sum this thread up: Andrew and I overcame a great deal to be happy together. We finally were in a very stable and loving relationship (he must really love me to have gone through this ordeal, we truly went through stuff that 99%^of guys would dump a girl over, due to things just being too difficult) We were very happy, until I recieved aa message from a very respected and knowledgable guy on this site. At first, his messages were very compelling. Basically the poster says that when a girl comes along thast really knocks his socks off (AKA that he is IN LOVE with) that he will never want a threesome again. Now, a threesome is his biggest fantasy, and he has always been very adamant that he was going to try it out. Andrew thinks the poster is full of sh*t, and that no matter how in love he is, he thinks he will always be eager for a threesome, if his girl agrees with it. On the other hand, he is also find to NOT have a threesome with a girl he really loves; he feels that I am enough to make him very happy in bed, and a threesome is a bonus but not something he "needs" I wanted to try a threesome too, so we did. Lastly, I also suggested once that he see a hooker while he was away on holiday. He has a long history with hookers, and believes he is able to have his dream girl and love a girl as much as he CAN love someone; and yet still be able to have meaningless sex with a hooker. He is very specific about what he can and cannot do; for instance, he can only have straight sex, because her does not "feel right" kissing or doing other things to a girl. So there ya go. I guess some people assume that all men, once they are properly in love, will just lose the ability to get excited about having a threesome with a girl. Or, that a guy in love will not be able to see a hooker if they are on a long holiday away from their love.
Author Leigh 87 Posted November 26, 2012 Author Posted November 26, 2012 I now realise this thread is useless, seeing as there will always be people who believe that: a man in love will lose the ability to want/have threesomes (even if it was a long held fantasy of theirs) Where as just as many people agree that they can truly love a girl, and be able to have meaningless sex, in the form of a threesome, or solo sex with a prostitute. He does not think he can really get much more into a womem than he was with his ex, or is with me (and he was very popular his entire life, and was around girls a lot, yet never into them enough to go anywhere with them) He cannot fathom changing this capacity to be able to love a girl, yet be able to have a threesome or see a hooker if he is separated from his lover for a while. I cannot see him ever finding a women that he loves too much to agree to a threesome, it just does not feel like him... Although he may get less horny and less interested with the idea as he ages, and not really due to the girl. The end, no need to revive this thread after this.
JamesM Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 We were very happy, until I received a message from a very respected and knowledgeable guy on this site. The definition of respected and knowledgeable is certainly subjective. A poster who has alot of likes or posts...or who has a great command of language...is NOT necessarily respected or knowledgeable. Even if he is/was, he certainly does not know you or Andrew. He can only go by what you post (unless he knows you in real life). And we all post what we think is applicable and forget details that would be helpful to those giving feedback. Andrew thinks the poster is full of sh*t, and that no matter how in love he is, he thinks he will always be eager for a threesome, if his girl agrees with it. After being married over two decades, I agree with Andrew and would still be eager. However, I know my wife would not want one, and I would not seek one without her. Besides, fantasies are usually better than realities. I wanted to try a threesome too, so we did. Was this MMF or (I assume) FFM? Did you enjoy it or were you a voyeur? So there ya go. I guess some people assume that all men, once they are properly in love, will just lose the ability to get excited about having a threesome with a girl. Or, that a guy in love will not be able to see a hooker if they are on a long holiday away from their love. Everyone assumes based on their experiences and background. We all are different and when posting on here, never forget it. Look for answers, but don't expect that everybody has them...no matter how well they write. Don't doubt yourself or Andrew because of some faceless poster. 1
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