When To Stop Dating?

[verhrzn]

We see a lot of these forums that men don't like fat or ugly women, or women who are above a certain cut-off line in terms of age (though it seems healthier women who look younger are considered all right.)

 

When is the appropriate time to give up on dating? Fellas, when would you advise an ugly/overweight girl to stop dating? Do you think she should stop dating until she magically gets hotter/thinner? If that never happens, should she remove herself from the dating pool entirely?

 

Is it also better if all the women in the available dating pool are hot/thin/young, but that also means there are far less of them to go around? Is that preferable to the dating pool being filled with ugly women?

[mesmerized]

No men still use less attractive women for sex alone so they don't want them gone completely. And well, some men just can't get attractive women and they need love too!

[verhrzn]

No men still use less attractive women for sex alone so they don't want them gone completely. And well, some men just can't get attractive women and they need love too!

 

Hmm, good point. So they'll use them for sex, and then complain about them being too ugly to date? So is it ugly/overweight women should opt out of dating maybe as a form of self-protection?

[mesmerized]

Hmm, good point. So they'll use them for sex, and then complain about them being too ugly to date? So is it ugly/overweight women should opt out of dating maybe as a form of self-protection?

 

They don't have to opt out, just be smart about it. If they have a good personality they can get lucky. I know a girl that's legitimately ugly (Fun personality tho) and he has a nice boyfriend after years of horrible relationships. So its possible.

[ThaWholigan]

In the end, ugly people fall in love with other ugly people, according to seductionmyth.com and various sources.

 

Nah, I don't think they should remove themselves from the game unless they want to. If the dating pool had the same people in it all the time, that would get boring. I might wife a fat girl someday, I don't know . It must be difficult if one craves for the intimacy of a relationship, but you can't dwell on the pain of it all. I've been spouting it all day today!

 

They don't have to opt out, just be smart about it.

 

This.

[verhrzn]

In the end, ugly people fall in love with other ugly people, according to seductionmyth.com and various sources.

 

Nah, I don't think they should remove themselves from the game unless they want to. If the dating pool had the same people in it all the time, that would get boring. I might wife a fat girl someday, I don't know . It must be difficult if one craves for the intimacy of a relationship, but you can't dwell on the pain of it all. I've been spouting it all day today!

 

So... ugly/fat women should only stay in with the hope that men they are not attracted to settle for them, am I reading that right?

[verhrzn]

They don't have to opt out, just be smart about it. If they have a good personality they can get lucky. I know a girl that's legitimately ugly (Fun personality tho) and he has a nice boyfriend after years of horrible relationships. So its possible.

 

Ah, perhaps that magic key. You are allowed a bad personality if you're hot, but if you're ugly you better have a fantastic personality (and some luck.) Makes sense.

 

So ugly/fat women with bad social skills.... pretty much screwed?

[It's Just Me]

This has to be THE MOST moronic online conversation I've ever had the misfortune to witness. Shame on you all.

[mesmerized]

Ah, perhaps that magic key. You are allowed a bad personality if you're hot, but if you're ugly you better have a fantastic personality (and some luck.) Makes sense.

 

So ugly/fat women with bad social skills.... pretty much screwed?

 

Probably but so is a fat/ugly man with nothing else to offer.

[mesmerized]

This has to be THE MOST moronic online conversation I've ever had the misfortune to witness. Shame on you all.

 

Nah, it's just you.

[ThaWholigan]

So... ugly/fat women should only stay in with the hope that men they are not attracted to settle for them, am I reading that right?

No, you're not reading it right . They should stay in with the hope that they will meet a man who they like who actually likes them. It's a numbers game, just like it is for us guys (yes, even the tall, good looking, black guys like me ).

 

I can see where this is going to go however, so I'll stand by my post of encouragement and gracefully bow out .

[MrCastle]

Yes because as we all know people are capable of gaining weight and not losing it. Forever sentenced to fatdom.

 

How about women, or people in general with weight issues, look to start living healthier so they can drop the weight.

 

The way people on here talk, you'd think being fat is a life sentence. Put in the work to lose weight (assuming you don't have a medical condition that makes it hard to lose)

[verhrzn]

This has to be THE MOST moronic online conversation I've ever had the misfortune to witness. Shame on you all.

 

Why? Advice forums, relationships articles, self-help books... they all encourage introspection and honesty about oneself. If the honest truth is that someone is ugly/fat, with a bad personality, why is it unreasonable to discuss if there should be a "halt" time to dating?

 

I often feel exhausted by dating, but feel pushed by my own desires, and the expectations of society, to keep doing it. It'd be nice to have confirmation about at what point it's okay to yell quittin' time, nobody's comin'.

 

If someone has been on numerous dating sites, sent out messages, tried professional photos, gone out to single events, etc, for several months, and yet still received not a single date... wouldn't your recommendation be that they should either look honestly at themselves and re-evaluate their dating value, OR give the whole thing up as futile? If not those two options, what would you suggest?

[verhrzn]

Yes because as we all know people are capable of gaining weight and not losing it. Forever sentenced to fatdom.

 

How about women, or people in general with weight issues, look to start living healthier so they can drop the weight.

 

The way people on here talk, you'd think being fat is a life sentence. Put in the work to lose weight (assuming you don't have a medical condition that makes it hard to lose)

 

Well, maybe they do. I know I do. Since beginning anti-depressants in August, I've ballooned up 15 pounds. It's a common side-effect of the drug; I am constantly hungry. Do you know what that's like, to never feel full, to feel like you're starving the entire day? It's no joke that feeling like you're in starvation mode can actually make you kind of homicidal.

 

I'm just an example, but let's go ahead and use me. I can't lose weight. So fat IS an eternal thing for me. Now return to the original question.

[FitChick]

I hear the Catholic church needs more nuns. You will be able to live in Africa and save pagan babies.

[verhrzn]

I hear the Catholic church needs more nuns. You will be able to live in Africa and save pagan babies.

 

It is very too bad I am not religious. When I was 8, I told my mom I wanted to be a Lutheran nun. She told me there was no such thing, and I could easily find a man if I just lost some weight and got better at cleaning. So, bummer all around.

[TheBigQuestion]

Well, maybe they do. I know I do. Since beginning anti-depressants in August, I've ballooned up 15 pounds. It's a common side-effect of the drug; I am constantly hungry. Do you know what that's like, to never feel full, to feel like you're starving the entire day? It's no joke that feeling like you're in starvation mode can actually make you kind of homicidal.

 

I'm just an example, but let's go ahead and use me. I can't lose weight. So fat IS an eternal thing for me. Now return to the original question.

 

Well for starters, you can solve this problem by switching to a non-SSRI antidepressant. I assume that's what you were prescribed, since SSRIs are usually the first line of treatment for unipolar depression. Try Wellbutrin, aplenzin, etc. They don't cause weight gain and don't adversely affect libido.

[verhrzn]

Well for starters, you can solve this problem by switching to a non-SSRI antidepressant. I assume that's what you were prescribed, since SSRIs are usually the first line of treatment for unipolar depression. Try Wellbutrin, aplenzin, etc. They don't cause weight gain and don't adversely affect libido.

 

Yeah I talked to my doc about that, and they are too expensive. My insurance doesn't cover any medication period, and I can't afford a $50 monthly medication.

 

Sooo, still circling back to "fat/ugly." Are you agreeing that fat/ugly women should just stay off the scene until they are thin/pretty?

[TheBigQuestion]

Yeah I talked to my doc about that, and they are too expensive. My insurance doesn't cover any medication period, and I can't afford a $50 monthly medication.

 

Sooo, still circling back to "fat/ugly." Are you agreeing that fat/ugly women should just stay off the scene until they are thin/pretty?

 

They're only $50??

 

I'm not on antidepressants, but have people close to me who are. I was always under the impression that without insurance covering them, their cost would be ridiculous. If they're really only $50 a month, I'm sure there's something else you could cut out from your life that would free up some money for a better medication.

 

And I didn't answer your thread question because I know where this is going. You cited a specific thing in your life that clearly is adding to your distress and I suggested an alternative. Nothing more, nothing less.

[verhrzn]

They're only $50??

 

I'm not on antidepressants, but have people close to me who are. I was always under the impression that without insurance covering them, their cost would be ridiculous. If they're really only $50 a month, I'm sure there's something else you could cut out from your life that would free up some money for a better medication.

 

And I didn't answer your thread question because I know where this is going. You cited a specific thing in your life that clearly is adding to your distress and I suggested an alternative. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

I would get the generic.... which are still $50. And no, there is nothing I can cut out. Yes, yes, you being helpful, but forgive my bluntness because I do not want to spend the whole of the thread explaining my particular situation: I cannot afford decent therapy and medication. Generic SSRIs are the very best I can do.

 

It is only adding to my distress because I hear fat women maligned constantly. Thus the question.... should fat/ugly women (who, for WHATEVER reason, are the way they are) sit out dating?

[TheBigQuestion]

Very well then. Slight thread derailment will cease. As you were.

[mesmerized]

I would get the generic.... which are still $50. And no, there is nothing I can cut out. Yes, yes, you being helpful, but forgive my bluntness because I do not want to spend the whole of the thread explaining my particular situation: I cannot afford decent therapy and medication. Generic SSRIs are the very best I can do.

 

It is only adding to my distress because I hear fat women maligned constantly. Thus the question.... should fat/ugly women (who, for WHATEVER reason, are the way they are) sit out dating?

 

Geez, youre not even fat. Whats your dress size?

[verhrzn]

Geez, youre not even fat. Whats your dress size?

 

Well, when I buy them in a store, I run 6-8. When I make them myself from patterns, I run 10-12. My measurements are something like 36", 32", 37". I'm still pretty sure 130 pounds at 5'0" ain't normal by any means.

[ThaWholigan]

Well, when I buy them in a store, I run 6-8. When I make them myself from patterns, I run 10-12. My measurements are something like 36", 32", 37". I'm still pretty sure 130 pounds at 5'0" ain't normal by any means.

Those are not bad measurements at all.

[mesmerized]

Well, when I buy them in a store, I run 6-8. When I make them myself from patterns, I run 10-12. My measurements are something like 36", 32", 37". I'm still pretty sure 130 pounds at 5'0" ain't normal by any means.

 

That's not fat and we both know it. You just love to get attention and sympathy that you don't deserve here. You are kind of like somedude, except you're smarter and play twisted games.