someguy17 Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Okay so month 8, all is amazing.. You know the drill. One night she stops replying until I confront her the next day, she tells me shoe doesn't know what she's feels anymore and needs some space to repair her relationship with her parents and her best friend which she put a damper on to be with me. She eventually tells me she still loves me too but doesn't want a relationship right now. We try NC and she breaks it on day 2 saying how she can't stop thinking about me and how she misses me. Now she says she became dependant on a ex boyfriend and he dumped her, she had to go to a counsellor for months after that, she said it was the worst experience imaginable. Then she said she feels like she's becoming too attached to me and she can't go through that again and she knows this is selfish. But then she proposed a fwb relationship, I kinda gave in on it and agreed. When we are alone she acts as if she's my girl still but no I love you's etc, and at school it's the complete opposite, if her friends are around. I don't know what I'm asking here but can someone comment on this?
Lil1 Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 It sounds like she does care about you since she's being honest with you about her fears and issues with her previous relationship. She doesn't want to be hurt again. Unfortunately, you will both see in time that FWB is not a good solution. You are both settling instead of going after what your really want. The deeper feelings you two have for each other will inevitably ruin the FWB arrangement. You both risk losing each other for good since FWBs rarely end well. If you care enough for her to want to be in a legitimate relationship then please don't conitnue with the FWB set up. You may enjoy the sex while it lasts but eventually the emptiness of it all will take its toll. The only advice I can really give you is to be true to yourself. I know it sounds cliche, but really, ask yourself what you want and don't settle for less.
Balzac Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Quick n Dirty version: she's got issues you cannot fix. Softball version: Yeah, she's needing space but the sex is great. She's having great sex w other dudes too.
Author someguy17 Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 Appreciate the quick response guys. She's a virgin and the benefits aren't even that great, I know she isn't ping to go have sex with any guys. Untold her maybe we should just stop talking and she got really taken back by it. "I thought I meant more to you than that" etc etc, honestly I would rather see her as my best friend than a nobody, Still someone I can share everything with, even more so than my so called 'bestfriend' I know she cares for me still, I can just tell. As of right now were special friends I suppose.. Just wondering if that situation could work out? I don't believe she's going to go find another boyfriend she's told me straight up she doesn't want one until after university as she's very very smart and athletic (currently training for world championship ringette)
NoMoreJerks Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 Same situation as with my ex (a guy). Kept saying he had issues with previous gfs, who dumped him, didn't want to get hurt again, knew it wasn't fair to me, bla bla...wanted a fwb with me, said he wasn't looking for other girls, never said 'i love you', etc. it's not going to work out, if she's just going to be happy with a fwb arrangement. is that what you want, even 10 years down the line? you could end up wasting 10 years of your life on one person. my friend has. she didn't see all the red flags of a relationship that wasn't a relationship. and then he dumped her, after he found some other girl that he wants to be with... cut your losses now, avoid hurting yourself even more... let go of her. if she loves you, she will resolve her issues or get over those issues. all that bull**** about "having been hurt and being careful now" is a cliche that has been abused by men and women to justify not committing to someone that they're not really interested in anyway.
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