auroraborialice Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Hi peeps, i'm new, and am unable to come to a decision... I was hoping i could get some insight from you. I've recently started seeing someone. He seems great, but there are a few things that bug me about him. My family likes him (which is a big one for me and a good thing, not a bad one lol) and hes real sweet. But things moved way to fast, and they have seemed to kinda fizz out for me. I think it is the fear of it all going so fast and jumping into a relationship full speed ahead.. He's already claiming hes in love with me and it's only been a month. Next, my ex and i remained friends and have been talking... i don't know how it happened, but next thing you know i'm telling him what bugs me about my new bf, and next i'm talking about breaking up with him... now hes pressuring me into breaking up with him. We got a little too comfy on the phone to say the least (hes 2 states away).. and i'm stressed the hell out. But so confused too. I don't know which way to go. My ex and I have gone through hell and back. But I still have alot of feelings for him, and can't seem to let him go. Hes trying to better himself for the first real time since all of our troubles. I keep thinking, gee.. what if this is really it? What if we can make things work this time? But from past experience, it has always seemed to be just the wolf in sheeps clothing so to speak. The new guy is everything he is not. Sweet, kind and easy going. We like the same things. But he's needy and seems to out wear his welcome by staying way too long. ~Again, very small things.. in comparison to my past rel. I had made up my mind to break it off with the ng tonight. But i just can't find the heart to. I've just got into a bad arguement with the ex because of it. This makes me want to cut ties with both... But i can't help but wonder if i'm making a huge mistake by breaking up with the ng because hes so sweet.. I am loathing myself because of all of this. I can't help but hate the position i've put myself in. Either way, someone is going to get hurt Please try to not judge me to badly for this... I really don't know how it all happened, and i'm just wishing that it all didn't .. Any advice?
Balzac Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 You are not emotionally ready to date. Period. 1
Author auroraborialice Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 I am emotionally ready. I'm just mixed up. My first mistake was not waiting long enough in between. Mind you, my ex and I have been broken up since July, really not enough time... But it happened, and I can't turn back the clock. I think I may break up with the ng, and cease any other contact with my ex. But thanks Balzac for your snotty comment. It really reminded me why i left this place years ago. I'm looking for help. Not a turned up nose.
BellaMarieOC Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 You shouldn't date either. Why does their need to be a choice between the two? You need to be single. Period. 1
todreaminblue Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 A lot of the posters i read are telling you you are not ready to date period.I read the post where you said you are emotionally ready just mixed up.... i disagree with the others that say you arent ready because you already are dating and now you have a dilemma its easy to go hey too much, and cut both ties.........do a runner.....i am queen of that.....the thing is it doesn't work.....you will still face the same dilemma you now face just later....this is fact.........there is nothing more an attractive than an ex who has moved on...... now you can play the push pull game with your ex and it will be that way almost guaranteed or you can continue with a guy who is sweet and who you started dating because????(list reasons here) maybe it might have fizzed i think the reason would be the residual feelings you have for your ex....you have to stop comparing your ex to the new guy and give him a chance...... your ex obviously there were issues and you split those issues are still there just hidden with a bit of effort from your ex and avoidance from you....i understand how you feel i have an ex who i still talk to when we were together we had a combustible relationship, passionate and expressive, but in that were some extremely soul and body shattering times...a lot of that passion and expressiveness, was instigated by me i will take it with me now into a new relationship with my eyes open i have that in me to have a passionate and expressive loving relationship part craziness part being able to love and it has to be honesty all the way. everyone has it in them to make a relationship fulfilling and passionate as do you..past relationships are meant to stay in the past.....give the new guy a chance....be honest with him how you feel try to remember why you started dating this guy in the first place.......would it be he is nothing like your ex????......that may be exactly what you need to have in your life....not a bad sitcom re run full of heartache and past hurts....good luck.....deb
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