crackerjacker Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 I need to let this out before I blow up from great anxiety. I'm apart of this social crowd and I met a man during the events that go on amongst the crowd. I didn't know his age or anything about him, but I thought he was cute. There was mutual attraction between us as we saw each other at the different events. He approached me little by little. So we were just aquantiances for a while (he had a gf and later, dates, and I was doing my own thing, we expressed no romantic interest). So then we were both single in October. We saw each other at another event and after that, he messaged me all the time on FB (we were fb friends) and we had talked a lot on there. After a few weeks of this he finally asked me to text him so this is how we started texting. We became real close and eventually started seeing each other regularly. At first I said we could be friends, (stupid) but obviously it's become more even thoguh we haven't verbally said it. He texts me everyday which I like, asks to see me, I visit him, sometimes he comes to my state and we'll see a movie (the border is only an hour away). Now we bond in other ways, private and intimately. We kiss all the time now, hold hands, and basically act like a couple. We act loving to one another. We've obviously become attached and we have feelings for each other. We don't get exclusive with each other because he is older, 16 years older, and I am really young (not illegal obbviously) and he is divorced and has relationship baggage. I also am young and am not sure if getting involved with him is a good idea. Looking at this realistically, we are not right for each other...and he tells me our age difference complicates things but if he was younger he'd absolutely be my bf. I know I'd change as a person too, and possibly hurt him and he has expressed this (cuz I'm so young and in a different point of my life). So we are continuing this romantic thing we got even though we know it won't work out, even though we are still techncially single. I care about him a lot already and am attached and would be hurt if he found another girlfriend more suitable to him and we stopped. However, the same goes for him! I go to a dorm and am surrounded by guys (some of whom I speak to) but at the end of the day I think about him, want him and hurt for him. Why?? He flirts with some of his female friends it seems and seems to have a wandering eye. I know (somehow) that he will find a mature, older, more beautiful and intelligent/talented woman than I as a young, insecure woman can be right now. I think I will be hurt. I haven't been close to finding a relationship in years and he seems to date more often than not and flirt and he gets beautiful women and he is handsome and everything. Don't get me wrong, he works a lot, is honest and very sweet and says he is lonely and hasn't dated in a while. We know we are not right for each other but we do this anyway. I know he will hurt me. I should hurt him (not maliciously, but ending this little thing we got going which I know will hurt him) before he hurts me by finding someone, which I feel is bound to happen? I have a lot of anxiety and trust issues. I always think or feel he is talking to others and wanting others, and I ask him and he says no but I don't believe him. Should I just enjoy it for what it is and at the same time continue finding someone around my age, or invest in him (which when I do, I am not interested in anyone else) and get hurt later? Should I hurt him now before he hurts me?
Author crackerjacker Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 Does anyone have any advice...or am I not in the right place...?
LoverOfDance Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 I think you should date other ppl. You're not officially together so u wouldn't be cheating if you did that. Plus, seeing other ppl will make u less invested in your relationship with him and will also make u less attached to him. For now, just have fun with it and see where it goes but also date other guys on the side.
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