Mary2026 Posted August 7, 2004 Posted August 7, 2004 Hi Please help!, I don't usually date so, I do not know if I am still dating or am I the girlfriend?. Usually guys ask me to be their GF and there is when I know that I am in a relationship. I met this guy at work and we got along well. Then I left that job and we started seeing each other .. so far for two months. We both work and we live 30 min from each other so, we see each other on the weekends. On Fridays he always hang out with his friends from work .. so I see him on saturdays or sometimes sundays. the first month we talk on the phone like 3 times a week and we saw each other on the weekends. Now during the second month, he only calls me on saturdays to ask me if I have plans and I tell him that I don't have plans... and we go out. I find really weird the fact that he does not call me during the week because if someone does not call you.. means that they don't want to hear from you. And he is not busy at all, so he can call and talk for 5 min. This makes me feel that he does not care about me. I didn't have sex with him because I only have sex when I am in a relationship. Now do you guys think that I am the GF or I am still dating? When I am going to know that I am the girlfriend? The last time I ask someone if I was the GF , I scared him off after dating for a month.
Poohs_Gurl Posted August 7, 2004 Posted August 7, 2004 [color=blue][/color] Okay I know exactly what you feel like.But don't have sex that's the mistake I made.Just because he doesn't call doesn't mean he doesn't want to talk to you just take it one day at a time. If you want to talk to him you pick up the phone and call him.Give it a week or two to see how things go then if you have to ask him what's going on between the two of you.Sometimes guys won't open up to you unless you ask him questions.
julsfla Posted August 7, 2004 Posted August 7, 2004 Hey Mary! I would need to decide, first of all, what I wanted to be. If you are honestly happy with things are now, then, I would not pursue the subject. Unfortunately, HE is the only one who can answer that, and if you want more then you can do one of two things. One, ask him. Not all guys run at that question. I have found that they can be as unsure of things as we can, and can go longer without an answer than women can. Two, kick it up a notch yourself, surprise the crap out of this guy! You have not had sex, and do not have to, but do something that will make him think of you through ought the week! Don't sit back and see what happens, make something happen! Every relationship need this at some time or another, even ones that have been in place for years! Stand out! Shake that tree every once in a while and see what happens! All men are different, don't think b/c one got scared, they all will...... Although, I am one of those "Dance like no one is looking" people. I believe in putting it out there, and usually, it is appreciated! (lovingyou.com has some GREAT ideas on how to spice up a relationship, these are ideas from real people in real relationships too, not ideas from a shrink or columnist) GOOD LUCK! I hope this helps! ~Juls~
Author Mary2026 Posted August 8, 2004 Author Posted August 8, 2004 Thank you for your help but I think that Iam 99% that I am still dating, this is why.. this last two weeks had been really weird. last week he invited me to the movies on a Thrusday ( it was weird because we usually go out on saturdays). on friday he went out with his friends and on saturday too. I had to called him on saturday to find out what he was up to, I knew already that he was going out with his friiends because we usually make plans before 8pm. I thought this week was going to be normal but no. He didn't called me at all, I called him on thrusday and I left him a voicemail saying that I was calling to say hi.. he didn't return my called over the weekend. So i had to called him today saturday and he was saying goodbye and before he hang up I asked what he was going to do tonight. HE said that he was going to watch a movie and get drunk with a guy who has a GF. I know this girl and she is always with her BF , so I ask him how is she doing. he said I think she went to NY. He ask me what are you doing tonite , I told him I have no plans to make him feel bad. and he said do something and have fun. then he said tomorrow sunday we can go to the movies. he is being so distant and if I hadn't called him today we wouldn't have talked at all. Next weekend he is going to NY so, i had to see him these week... because next weekend he is not going to be around.
Nemmy Posted August 8, 2004 Posted August 8, 2004 Ya umm... you're too available to him first of all. So, he's taking for granted the fact that if he has nothing better to do saturday night, he can call you. Second, if has other plans, you are not included. Third, he doesn't call during the week to chat. Fourth, he goes to hang out and watch a movie...and doesn't even offer up an invitation then suggests you go out? How many red flags do you need exactly before you see signs of waning interest? Ok, here's what you need to do. Don't call him! Then if he gets curious and calls, don't pick it up! Leave it to voicemail. Then...call him back a couple hours later and say you just got in, but don't say what you were doing. See the point? Be less available and more challenging. You're not a gf and the way things are going so far, not heading in that direction. Also, be prepared to have to move on from this guy... (sorry to be the loud voice of reason here...)
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