Oxy Moronovich Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Serious post. I've had sex with women with tattoos but tattoos on women turn me off so much I can't get into an LTR with a woman with tatts. Almost 2 weeks ago my gf said she wanted a tatt. I disapproved. We had a long fight. It took a week for us to get on speaking terms again. But things have been frosty. A woman without tatts seems to be becoming rarer ever year. At this rate, in 10 yrs. they'll be as hard to find as CD stores. I am not dating a chick with tatts. Any suggestion on how to get my gf's mind off this stupid idea? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lovebug1234 Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 IT'S HER BODY NOT YOURS. your options are to stay or leave. in this case, do her a favor and LEAVE. 15 Link to post Share on other sites
LittlePrince Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Serious post. I've had sex with women with tattoos but tattoos on women turn me off so much I can't get into an LTR with a woman with tatts. Almost 2 weeks ago my gf said she wanted a tatt. I disapproved. We had a long fight. It took a week for us to get on speaking terms again. But things have been frosty. A woman without tatts seems to be becoming rarer ever year. At this rate, in 10 yrs. they'll be as hard to find as CD stores. I am not dating a chick with tatts. Any suggestion on how to get my gf's mind off this stupid idea? You can't stop the retarded from doing something stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
LittlePrince Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 IT'S HER BODY NOT YOURS. your options are to stay or leave. in this case, do her a favor and LEAVE. If she isn't mature enough to handle her body appropriately then she loses that right. Someone else needs to take responsibility since she clearly can't. Link to post Share on other sites
tman666 Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 How were things going with this girl before she mentioned getting a tattoo? Is she a good partner? Did you see a future with this girl? If she is, by all other measures, a good partner and someone you see a potential future with (if she isn't, then why are you dating her?), I think you need to un-rustle your jimmies, brah. But hey, if tattoos really are a no-go for you (and you're not just being stubborn for the sake of being stubborn), then make sure you clearly communicate the consequences of her getting inked. Chances are that she'll dump you on the spot upon delivery of such an ultimatum. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 If she isn't mature enough to handle her body appropriately then she loses that right. Someone else needs to take responsibility since she clearly can't. How exactly is wanting (or having) a tattoo an indication of maturity level????? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 (edited) You can't 'make' someone change her mind but you can certainly leave. If she isn't mature enough to handle her body appropriately then she loses that right. Someone else needs to take responsibility since she clearly can't. ROFL, dumbest thing I've ever heard. Since the OP smokes, I suppose he isn't 'mature enough to handle his body appropriately so he loses that right and the gf needs to take responsibility since he clearly can't', too? Edit: Note that I don't actually condone leaving a good partner because they made a decision to get a tattoo. But if someone is so against it that it would turn him against a long-term partner on the spot, WAY better to leave than to find a way to 'make her change her mind'. Edited November 20, 2012 by Elswyth 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Negative Nancy Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 dumbest thing I've ever heard. Since the OP smokes, I suppose he isn't 'mature enough to handle his body appropriately so he loses that right and the gf needs to take responsibility since he clearly can't', too? Good point. Link to post Share on other sites
TheBigQuestion Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 A lot of tattoos are really dumb. Is she getting a tramp stamp? If she's dead set on getting one, I don't think there's anything anyone here could suggest you tell her that would succeed in talking her out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Set her free, please! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 oddly, my bf and i disagree about this too. i am 38 (he's 48) and neither of us have a tat. i want one though. he also says he'd break it off if i did that because he thinks it reflects upon my maturity level and that maybe i'm not done growing yet. my opinion? it's my body and can do it if i want. your gf has that same right. does her heart change because she gets a tat? does she become someone different? absolutely not. she'll be the same person she was an hour before, but with a little something extra. my mom got her first tat at age 75, a few months ago... so at whatever stage in life someone wants to do it - don't judge, and be supportive. if it's a phase ... it'll pass anyway Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Before we can answer the thread question you asked, how to dissuade her, as opposed to posturing, placard waving and potshots, more detail is needed. What is her rationale for the tattoo? Because her friends have them? watching tattoo shows and wanting one? Knows you don't like the idea based on past statements of yours and sticking on it for drama or even passive aggressive breakup purposes? Just a whim? Before we can tell you how to talk her out of it, more detail needed as to her motivation for getting one. EDIT: I wonder what the response so far would look like if it was you wanting the tattoo and the tattoo you wanted was a Mike Tyson face tattoo? Link to post Share on other sites
TheBigQuestion Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Regardless of how dumb some tattoos can be, I do think that in most cases, it's a pretty strange reason to break up with someone. Perhaps it's because I don't feel strongly about them one way or the other. What the tattoo is and where it will be located makes a difference though. I don't get the feeling that she's planning on getting anything too outlandish, as this would have probably been disclosed in the OP already. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Before we can answer the thread question you asked, how to dissuade her, as opposed to posturing, placard waving and potshots, more detail is needed. What is her rationale for the tattoo? Where were the placards? I must've missed 'em. Why is a "rationale" needed? If the OP is completely turned off by tattoos, for any reason whatsoever, the "right" thing to do is to let his girlfriend know this. She may decide that her wish to get a tattoo (for whatever reason) is not great enough to turn off her beloved Oxy Moronovitch. It's her choice. And it's completely his choice to break up with her because she gets a tattoo - or for whatever reason he feels that the relationship is no longer working well for him. I do sincerely believe that he should move on now, based upon the tone of his post. There was no mention of any aspect of the relationship other than his low opinion of tattoos, his willingness to fight for A WEEK with a girl over her wish to get one, and his request to get help in changing her. It does not bode well for the two of them whether she gets a tattoo or not. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 What kind of tattoo does she want and where? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 (edited) IT'S HER BODY NOT YOURS. OP, It's her body, you're just a temporary ride. Set her free, please! Where were the placards? I must've missed 'em. Oh? This isn't an abortion debate concerning a baby and reproductive rights, despite looking lots like one from the replies. People do in fact have a reasonable say and input in what their partner decides to do with their body cosmetically. Don't disagree if you have ever told a partner you like their hair a certain way or wish they would wear different clothing. What if OP wanted to put a giant 3" c-ck ring in? a face tattoo of My Little Pony? nipple piercings with swastikas dangling off them? Would the analysis begin and end with allcaps "IT'S HIS BODY?" with no sympathy for the other party's position or analysis at all? I think not. Why is a "rationale" needed? Because if one wants to do something cosmetically that distresses one's partner unduly "just because," "because she likes the one Snooki has," "because all the cool kids do it," "because I want everyone to see the equivalent of '500 men served' when I wear a bikini," "because a leprechaun told her it would be fun," then it is rational for the distressed partner to want to dissuade them, especially if it is a relatively -permanent- change such as a tattoo. And it's completely his choice to break up with her because she gets a tattoo - or for whatever reason he feels that the relationship is no longer working well for him. I'd rather find out -why- she wants one, and -what- we are talking about specifically, 1" star on ankle or 5 color portrait of a deceased relative on her inner thigh, before -presuming- to give that advice. Edited November 20, 2012 by dasein Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 What if OP wanted to put a giant 3" c-ck ring in? a face tattoo of My Little Pony? nipple piercings with swastikas dangling off them? Would the analysis begin and end with allcaps "IT'S HIS BODY?" with no sympathy for the other party's position or analysis at all? I think not. They are dating. This is the time to discover incompatibilities. I'd rather find out -why- she wants one, and -what- we are talking about specifically, 1" star on ankle or 5 color portrait of a deceased relative on her inner thigh, before -presuming- to give that advice. I'd also be interested in know that.....but the fact that they got in a fight that resulted in not talking for a week says a lot about how far apart they are on the subject. Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 They are dating. This is the time to discover incompatibilities. No argument there. But I had a GF who would put product in my hair and want to style it just the way she wanted, would get peevish if denied, so I usually just let her do it. NBD. Getting a tattoo is permanent, and depending on how long they are dating and how serious, a legitimate relationship topic which may or may not signal incompatibility. More detail will tell which, before jumping to conclusions based on inapt "her body" kneejerk reactions. I'd also be interested in know that.....but the fact that they got in a fight that resulted in not talking for a week says a lot about how far apart they are on the subject. Yes, they fought, but still need more detail before any kind of -meaningful- advice can be given. Link to post Share on other sites
IT Geek Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 I generally agree with the OP. Tattoos on a woman are generally a turnoff. However, one woman I was interested in (wasn't reciprocated, unfortunately) had a tramp stamp that she got after her divorce and I would have been totally OK with. She was pretty much exactly what I have been looking for in a woman. Too bad she didn't feel the same. I guess it just depends on how you feel about the person. I really liked her personality since it was very similar to mine, and she was a bit of a geek as well. That made me look past the whole tattoo thing. Link to post Share on other sites
TheBigQuestion Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 No argument there. But I had a GF who would put product in my hair and want to style it just the way she wanted, would get peevish if denied, so I usually just let her do it. NBD. Getting a tattoo is permanent, and depending on how long they are dating and how serious, a legitimate relationship topic which may or may not signal incompatibility. More detail will tell which, before jumping to conclusions based on inapt "her body" kneejerk reactions. Yes, they fought, but still need more detail before any kind of -meaningful- advice can be given. OP isn't going to budge. He doesn't like tattoos. His girlfriend doesn't look like she'll budge either. They are clearly incompatible. Unless it's something really outlandish, what type of tattoo it is and what her motivations are for wanting to get it done appear to be of little relevance. Link to post Share on other sites
TheBigQuestion Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 I generally agree with the OP. Tattoos on a woman are generally a turnoff. However, one woman I was interested in (wasn't reciprocated, unfortunately) had a tramp stamp that she got after her divorce and I would have been totally OK with. She was pretty much exactly what I have been looking for in a woman. Too bad she didn't feel the same. I guess it just depends on how you feel about the person. I really liked her personality since it was very similar to mine, and she was a bit of a geek as well. That made me look past the whole tattoo thing. Tramp stamp. Might as well be a bullseye. So a divorced woman who was probably going through a mid-life crisis was your ideal woman? That reminds me of the chicks I knew who would dye their hair blue or shave their head after a breakup. Reeks of impulse and desperation. Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 OP isn't going to budge. Agree. His girlfriend doesn't look like she'll budge either. No way you, me or anyone else knows this without more detail. If OP already knows this, why make a thread? Rant maybe? Possible but not dispositive without more. I take OP at his word that given the detail posted, he honestly believes she can be dissuaded. That's the advice he asked for, two+ pages now and no legitimate on topic reply in the thread yet including my own I'm still waiting for more detail before attempting to answer the simple question he asks, "how to dissuade her?" They are clearly incompatible. They may be incompatible, but it's certainly not clear yet based on detail posted. Unless it's something really outlandish, what type of tattoo it is and what her motivations are for wanting to get it done appear to be of little relevance. The proof of that will be in the details. Link to post Share on other sites
yessy21 Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 If your not into chicks with tatts...then by all means...let her know. let her know that you arent into that. if she doesnt care then you do what you do. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
IT Geek Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Tramp stamp. Might as well be a bullseye. So a divorced woman who was probably going through a mid-life crisis was your ideal woman? That reminds me of the chicks I knew who would dye their hair blue or shave their head after a breakup. Reeks of impulse and desperation. I'm divorced and in my early 40s. She's 39. She's been divorced 4 years. How does something she did 4 years ago reek of desperation? We all make choices we may later regret. Don't you think people deserve a chance at "redemption" (for lack of a better word)? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Oxy Moronovich Posted November 20, 2012 Author Share Posted November 20, 2012 Here are answers to some of the questions: my relationship with my girl has been going good. We like a lot of the same movies, music, games, and activities. I feel I'm lucky to have met a woman that I'm compatible with. I see a future with her. But neither of us are ready for marriage. As far as the tattoo goes, she said she wants one vertically down her back. But when we started arguing she said she had some other spots she considered: one her legs or a few inches above her vagina. The latter will be almost from hip to hip. I definitely don't find that attractive. I dunno why she wants to get a tattoo. She basically said, "I dunno. I just want one. I think it would look cool on me." I think it's basically cuz she wants to follow what her friends and other women have. Women always like to follow the latest trend without thinking so that's basically her rationale for getting the tatt in the first place. And I also can't stop rolling my eyes at the "it's her body; she can do whatever she wants with it" bs responses. I'm pretty sure if my gf said she wanted breast, butt, or lip enhancements and I was against it, these same folks would be rallying behind me. I know plenty of guys who said they wanted to grow facial hair but don't because their significant other disapproves of them. So when a guy wants to grow facial hair (which is a natural part of the body) and a woman disapproves, it's okay. But when a woman wants to get a tattoo (an unnatural blemish) and a man disapproves, he has no right to do it because "it's her body". Glad we cleared that up. Back to the original question: what can I say to dissuade her from not getting the tattoo? Link to post Share on other sites
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