carolina Posted August 7, 2004 Posted August 7, 2004 I'm still having trouble getting over my b/f breaking up with me. I'm so glad though I came across this site as it helps a great deal---it gives support and makes you realize how many folks are going thru the same things at a time when you FEEL SO ALONE! How does someone who loves you (sorry, I guess I should say 'loved' you), cared about you....just decide that you're not "The One" for them...? I was with my b/f for 7 years (I'm now 30, he's 36). Last year we decided should get engaged by "X" date....That date came & went. He said when it came down to making that decision, "it just didn't feel right....he had too much doubt and apprehension..it was causing him too much stress." He said he just "didn't feel like he thought he should right before he asks someone to marry him..." I'm like 'where was that 'doubt an apprehension the last 7 years...?" Was I just a cheap thrill for the last 7 years? I'm like I was 'good enough' to date for 7 years, but when it came time for marriage, I wasn't good enough........I feel like 7 years of my life were stolen! Who wants a 30 year old chick (even though I look younger)?! I dated him thinking EVENTUALLY we'd marry, so this kinda threw my life plans off- to say the least.. Who knows now if I'll ever find someone in time to have kids or anything.... It just seems like my life is ruined. I'm in couseling & all but it still seems hard to think anything good will come of this. Am I destined to be an old lady living by myself with a dozen cats?? Please advise/ help/anything...
Pocky Posted August 7, 2004 Posted August 7, 2004 Thirty isn't that old. Women are having children at an older age. You'll find someone else to love and spend your life with. Be thankful he walked away before you married instead of marrying you and then telling you he wasn't happy and asking for a divorce. That would be worse..
wtfjh? Posted August 7, 2004 Posted August 7, 2004 I'm almost 30 and my boyfriend just did the same thing. Only, it was moving in together. He says, "moving in is like getting married and I'm not ready for that. I still have doubts."- Then, even when I was willing to live apart and work out the relationship, he still ended it! I don't get it. I was not in this relationship nearly as long (only 1 year), so I can't imagine having invested all that time to have it go this way. I am so sorry. Sounds like you got hold of a "commitmentphobe"- like me. Look up some of the sites on commitment-phobia, bet you'll find alot that sounds familiar. Sorry. Please take care.
honey2005 Posted August 7, 2004 Posted August 7, 2004 I'm so glad though I came across this site as it helps a great deal---it gives support and makes you realize how many folks are going thru the same things at a time when you FEEL SO ALONE! That's how I felt when I found this site:D. Just reading other people's problems helped me feel so much better. Pocky's right, thirty isn't that old. Don't give up on finding someone who really loves you and wants to be with you. Keep looking, you'll find him when you least expect it.
Author carolina Posted August 7, 2004 Author Posted August 7, 2004 It's always easy being the Monday morning quarterback......but in hindsite, if I HAD known I'd date him so long only to have my heart broken, I'd have broken up with him YEARS ago.... The only inspiration/hope I have is something I recently read in a magazine: A woman with 3 kids wrote something to the effect of: "When I was pregnant with each kid I felt so, so sick. Delivery was so painful...But, once those kids came into my life, I forget all the pain that it took to bring them here....." She was saying basically the same goes for dating.....You may go thru so much pain & stuff but once your "true love" comes into your life, you forget ALL that pain that it took to get there/to find him or her... That's what I keep reminding myself...........Even though my b/f may have seemed like the love of my life and that my life is over............maybe, just MAYBE there is something even better for me to justify all this pain (even though it may not seem like that now) and WHEN I find him, I'll be so happy & in love, I'll have forgotten ALL it took to find him!!
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