Jump to content
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

This is one of the reason's i'm having a very very hard time letting go. I still think of him as some god like figure that makes me blessed to be in his presents. I compare myself to him and think of him as better then me.

 

Self-esteem issues. I know. Something i have to work on. I really don't know how to do it? Im going to therapy, but i can tell i have a long way to go. Does anyone feel like this about there ex as well.

Posted
This is one of the reason's i'm having a very very hard time letting go. I still think of him as some god like figure that makes me blessed to be in his presents. I compare myself to him and think of him as better then me.

 

Self-esteem issues. I know. Something i have to work on. I really don't know how to do it? Im going to therapy, but i can tell i have a long way to go. Does anyone feel like this about there ex as well.

 

lol no if he was so amazing then why he hurt you?? which am thinking he did?? and you say you think of him in a god like figure ..child you have some serious problem lol and am not trying to be mean but come on thats why that guy may act the way he did.... all i ear in this post is creazyness no man should be a god like figure and it seems you put your self down alot for this guy ..stop it he not better then you ..wake up

Posted

only b4 i get the chick,once i get her,the attraction slowly dwindles ..by the way its called rose tinted glasses which should be remove like a tumor soon

 

TD

Posted

Hi, you're probably not the only person feeling this. I, too think that my ex is an amazing person. I couldn't find anything bad to say about him at all even though he broke up with me 2 weeks back and broke my heart into thousand pieces.

 

I've never met anyone more amazing and kind and humble than him. One thing though, I don't see him as a god-like figure and think he is better than me. Surely he is better than me in so many ways but there are things about me that he lacks.

 

Yup, it's harder to move on because I feel like it's my loss to lose someone so nice (personality-wise) rather than thinking it's his loss to put someone who truly loves and cares about him (yup that's pathetic me) out of his life (reversed psychology lol).

  • Author
Posted

lol, i think its funny ppl over react to the "god-like" comment. I'm just trying to emphasize how love sick people can be with someone that is not as amazing as we think they are.

 

I'm just pointing out that im having a hard time taking off the rose colored glasses. I'm suppose to hate him, ext. I know he has faults. But i can't seem to understand that he really is not a good man. He never communicated to me his problem's and out of the blue left me. He was a really pathetic guy, but i keep internalizing. That if i had done something different the situation would be different.

Posted

Your basic idea is on target just focused too closely in the wrong moment on the timeline. You could have acted differently. What you could have done was identify that he was not a worthy investment for a romantic relationship. You could have cut the process of developing interest, feelings long before you did. That is why you're in counseling now. Work on developing the necessary skill set needed to avoid poor targets for romance.

Posted

What you said is true. We are so blinded by love. Or rather, we just want to make ourselves think that way. But isn't it better that we hold no grudges, no hatred, no anger, no resentment towards them? As if heartbreak isn't enough to deal with?

Posted (edited)
But isn't it better that we hold no grudges, no hatred, no anger, no resentment towards them? As if heartbreak isn't enough to deal with?

 

Well sure... I mean eventually. however right now doesn't seem to be a good time to do this for me.

 

I was forgiving last week last. Last night i was really angry and resentful about how she yanked my chain around for a month while preparing to leave me for another guy. The lies the deception the lack of trust. I makes me f-n sick as i thought about this last night out of the blue. Also thought about how I was a complete pussy, the multiple break up scenes, and how i didn't walk away earlier (even years earlier) and how i wish i could repeat history and be more of a man

 

I know, i now holding onto this **** isn't helpful. I thought i forgave her like 3 weeks ago. And ill do it again. And ill cycle thru this crap again and again of putting her on a pedestal, to her being a bitch who i hate, to feeling sorry for her. I hurts less and less every time.

 

Eventually ill puke out all this crap and ill just be dry heaving and then it will be gone as i lay there exhausted from the ordeal and finally be f-in free of it.

Edited by cavalier99
Posted
What you said is true. We are so blinded by love. Or rather, we just want to make ourselves think that way. But isn't it better that we hold no grudges, no hatred, no anger, no resentment towards them? As if heartbreak isn't enough to deal with?

'

yeah i agree what you said about no hatred no anger ,,you can for give someone and let the past be the past thats whats everone should do but dont talk about the person like they were god gift to the world when they treated you bad be real with what really happen and dont say stuff like the reason i cant let go is because he was so amazing and hes a god like figure ...dont hate them but speak the truth what they really were and the truth of what really happen ...thats how i see it i dont hate any of my exs my past is my past but if anyone ask me about how it was with them i will tell them the true ,,accepting the ture only helps to move you forward

Posted (edited)
What is it that you think is so amazing about this person? Objectively speaking, what are the traits he possesses that make him god-like in your eyes, or even just better than you? I think we often tend to get caught up in our feelings and fail to recognize the fact that they're based on a whole lot of nothing. You don't need to be angry or resentful to understand that the person you were involved with is just another flawed mortal, no better (and likely no worse) than you or anyone else.

 

 

omg i agree with you so much thats why i had to respond to this post because i was knda shock when i read it ...god like figure :rolleyes:

Edited by taya
Posted

This guy may have been great. But..he ripped you heart out, chewed on it a bit and spit it out. Even if he did it politely and wiped his mouth off after with nice a linen napkin.

 

He is no God and doest deserve to be put on a pedestal. Im sure he has great qualities or you wouldn't have fallen for him. You are just worried you wont find better or deserve better and are having trouble feeling you anger over being dumped. Find something to hate for a bit to knock him down a bit. Even if it simply this ahole broke your heart. Then let it go. And do it again until it is gone.

×
×
  • Create New...