SPOON Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 My boyfriend of six years recently left me to be with a coworker. It's been a very devastating few weeks for me. I feel like the carpet has been pulled form right under me. I'm unable to implement the NC rule because we have a four year old child together. It's been very rough trying to pull myself together when he visits. We're remaining friends, but it's still painful for me to see him. Anway, I do not have a lot of friends to talk to and it's difficult to arrange times when I can talk to my friends. I am a full time student. I commute to school so it's quite difficult to make friends at school when you have back to back lectures and a train to catch. On top of everything, I learned today that my father is having a major cancer scare. I would like to know how I can go through all this with out much of a support system. My family is quite cold and distant towards me, so I won't have much luck in that area. Thanks to everyone in advance!
LostOne1 Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 I know how you feel.. I was with my ex for 3 years and I had to give up all my friends for her. All I had was family left, but even then it was tough to get support at times. I know it feels scary right now and hurts. I mean 6 years and having a child is really hard. I don't know why a guy would leave his kid and the mother of his kid. I know as a guy I would never do that, I would do my best to be a good father and boyfriend even if it is tough. The best support system you can find is online, if you are distant with family and friends. Or better yet seeing a therapist or counsellor you can talk too. Just know we are here if you need to talk. I know it is a tough time for you, and for me it is as well. But I find talking here helps some what vent out things.
Author SPOON Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 Thanks, it's helping to vent on here!
Exit Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 All the technology we have these days should allow you to be in touch with people who care about you despite maybe lacking the time to actually meet them and chat in person. Email, text, and call the people who will offer you support. And aside from the people you do know personally, using websites like this can be of some help as well. But, to look at your limitations in a more positive way, it can be empowering to learn to get through the worst of the worst with only yourself to depend on. When you can get through something like this without constantly needing help, you learn how strong you can be, and from that point forward you kind of have the ability to look at life and say "nothing can scare me after I got myself through that". I'm not suggesting that you purposely isolate yourself in order to conquer this alone. Take support from others if and when you can get it. But on the days that you do find yourself facing it alone, just remember that being able to be your own best friend is a good tool to have. We can't always rely on other people.
blue_jay_bird Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Yeah, i lost all my "friends" in the BU. Your be surprised about how many lonely people are out there that want a friendship. Start with old friends you haven't talked to in year's. A School is a great place to meet friends. You may also look at the idea that you really don't want to make friends. That being alone, sad is your norm and that change is scary.
Tiera D Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 All i can say to u is Welcome to the loveshack community we got your back! TD
IT Geek Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 My boyfriend of six years recently left me to be with a coworker. It's been a very devastating few weeks for me. I feel like the carpet has been pulled form right under me. I know your pain. My ex-wife left me after 16 years of marriage for a co-worker.
Author SPOON Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 I really appreciate how supportive everyone is around here. I will definitely try to see my situation as less of a choke hold and more of a liberation. Thanks, Exit and blue_jay_bird for the sound advice. The worst part of my boyfriend leaving for a coworker is the fact that I feel that this could have been avoided. At least, I think it could have been.
LostOne1 Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 I really appreciate how supportive everyone is around here. I will definitely try to see my situation as less of a choke hold and more of a liberation. Thanks, Exit and blue_jay_bird for the sound advice. The worst part of my boyfriend leaving for a coworker is the fact that I feel that this could have been avoided. At least, I think it could have been. yeah I always believe that too.. that my ex BU with me could have been avoided.. in fact she SAID it could have been if our communication was better. But it sucks, because we can't go back and change it. All we can do is say I could have avoided it for this reason.. now I know and I have to look at the future and not repeat it if it happens again. Sadly we can only LEARN from mistakes, we can't always UNDO them. If life was like our computer, we could push the undo button and go back 1 step.
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