joe321 Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 First off I wanna say I am in no way going to hurt myself or ruin my life over this girl. I read stories on here about marriages failing and ruined lives and it helps me puts my whole situation into perspective. If anyone can read this and give me some hope or anything i would really appreciate it and it would help me. Im 22 shes 20. We met working together became good friends and then we both fell in love. We dated for a year. While I gave her whatever she wanted and treated her great she felt like I was distant in the later part of the relationship. Ill admit when she had work or had things to do without me, I would go out to bars with friends. I would never cheat on her and she knew that but I did go out alot and it obviously caused distance. While we dated for a year we were together all the time but things weren't right. We weren't close with each other's friends/family as we should have been and she also never fought with me which led to a wild break up out of no where (for me). I loved this girl. I still do but at the time I thought about spending forever with her. I sit here now typing this thinking about how crazy I must sound and how silly I am but i do believe I love her with all my heart. I understand she must have been thinking about it for a while, so while i was crying and freaking out she already went through that time while we were together. She said she needed time away and to experience other things since our relationship was not right. Instead of going our separate ways, we broke up and still talked every day and she came out for sex, or other relationship habits religiously. This ****ed me up obviously. She started to come around a few months after the relationship and kept telling me she loved me but didnt wanna be together. I figured Id wait it out didnt wanna rush it. Well weeks later I find out shes talking to someone else and slowing she cut me off little by little and fell for him. Now she wants to be friends and texts me almost everyday. It hurts so bad. And our NO CONTACT attempt turned into a fight everytime one of us broke it. I completely lost my manhood with her by ether crying or texting her crazy **** lol. I know it sounds crazy but I trusted her with my life and never thought i would be in this situation. Today the fighting got to a crazy point things were said and I feel I wont hear from her again. Our last convo was about how she wants me to find someone i will love more and how she is somewhere else now. I can't sleep correctly. i can't do things without thinking of her. Going out makes me feel better but I wanna be with her. Even though all this happened i feel like i can go back to it if it worked out. Im crazy and don't know what to do anymore.
Exit Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Only real thing you can do is stick to the NC, sorry. And you have to do it in a way that doesn't get broken every day when one of you gives in. Actually block her, delete numbers, don't connect to each other on social networking sites. Make it so the contact HAS to stop, especially now that some other guy came into the picture. Failed relationships hurt like hell at that age. I spent my late teens and early twenties thinking for sure I was going to be the type to find my wife early in life and be able to stay with that one person. So every breakup I went through felt like death. Now I'm in my mid twenties and I finally realize I need to stop making finding someone my priority in life and just live my life. She's 20. You're not going to find a 20 year old girl in this current society of ours who is ready to settle down. I suppose I shouldn't generalize, there may be a few of them out there. But for the most part, learn your lesson now before it happens many more times to you in the coming years, girls might like to talk about engagement rings and marriage but at this age they aren't going to follow through and actually make it happen. And for the few that do, check out the statistics for how many people have their first divorce by the time they're 27. NC is your best friend. The sooner you can accept that, the better. I am someone who found every excuse in the book to keep pursuing my exes and I used to hate when people would tell me to do NC. I felt like they didn't get it or didn't understand my situation. When I want to do things my way, I can be the most stubborn person in the world. Finally I got my ass kicked enough by doing the wrong thing and pursuing exes that the lesson finally sank in. NC is the only way to stay sane and maintain your dignity. Let her have her new plaything. She's not going to marry that one either. Or even if she does, it doesn't matter. Going out and doing other things does not make you a guilty distant boyfriend. The fact that you never got familiar enough to meet each others families and friends makes it sound like you had a bit of an isolated relationship which tends to not be healthy. 1
Author joe321 Posted November 21, 2012 Author Posted November 21, 2012 I wanna say thanks for spending time to read this and add your opinion. Last night I told her how i still feel, how i felt, and how I picture things to end up. She is in love with someone else but it doesn't stop me from caring about her, its just how i am i guess. Today she texted me hopefully our paths will cross again and she said she was sorry for everything. This message had no double meaning or a chance of hope so I had some closure. Whats meant to be is meant to be. If anyone reading this has the same issues or feelings im glad they can relate. I guess time will heal for me. If I could go back in time and change things i wouldnt. Good thing i got dumped by her before things got serious or my life would be worse right now.
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