Gambler1984 Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 We dated for quite a while and then broke up a few times, but always worked it out. The last 10 months she was here, she broke up with me twice, but I'm really certain why, except for the fact that she was moving away for grad school. She moved away for grad school last summer 2011 and had a bf soon afterwards. I stopped communicating when I found out and she told me about it. Thought that I should know. I've been told by other women that if she truly loved me, she would tell me about it! So, September 2011, the guy appeared in her profile pic with her relationship status changed. I deactivated my account after seeing that. I just couldn't take it. Time went by, I got back on, he was no longer in the profile pic. According to my friend, her relationship status went blank in November 2011. Around that time, I got a picture of her cat texted to me out of the blue one Sunday afternoon! I would periodically receive FB likes and some comments on random things. It was a little strange since I basically stopped talking to her. Also, she initiated a FB chat with me late one night. I cut her off and told her I had to go after a few minutes. My friend was talking to her and asked if she was bringing the new guy up for Christmas, she replied with, "it didn't work". but wasnt clear about what didnt work. He couldn't come or they ended it. He said that when he noticed her relationship status had gone blank by then too. Low and behold, the guy appeared again in her profile pic in January and then again in February, but relationship status remained blank. Back in March, the pic of the guy vanished after a couple of weeks and she began to "like" and comment a whole lot more on my wall and to this day, she is the one person who likes and comments on my posts the most out of anyone else. I haven't liked or commented on any of her stuff in well over a year or even looked at her wall. Last winter and in March, I received a picture of her cat once via text and the other via email. Also in March, I received a random phone call from her that I missed, but when I called back the next day, no answer, no acknowledgement of it, but continued to like and comment on stuff. I found her on a dating site this summer, so I hope she's single! Why would an ex do all of this? Why comment/like stuff that doesn't even pertain to you? Its confusing. I still love her and want to be with her and many people that I still will and that she's doing this because she wants me in her life someway. Just as recently as last week, I posted two things on Monday, something on Tuesday. The Tuesday thing got liked Tue night and on Wed night, the monday stuff got both a comment and a like. Its as if she's going back to read through my wall and comment/like on stuff 2-3 days old. I did notice the one time I initiated a FB convo with her, I had to cut it short, but I noticed she tried to keep the convo going by asking, "what else is new?" I got asked that three times! I don't know her to tease or do anything in an intoxicated state, not that kind of woman. I mean she doesn't do the odd random texts or cat pics anymore, but for a time she was. Maybe didn't get the result she wanted? IDK. I mean I don't get random texts or cat pics anymore, but I didn't really respond to them with much haste, so I've been told that she probably thinks I don't care anymore or have moved on? Now it appears as if she is back with that same guy from awhile back. Its been 9 months since he's appeared in her profile picture and on Saturday night, he appeared again and what's weird is its the same picture that she had up back in January! He disappeared back in March and then I started to get contact a lot more. I noticed she was on a dating site from May until it looks like sometime last month. It sounds like these two have broken up twice already and now are dating again 8-9 months later? Very confusing! I deactivated my FB account, i couldnt see this anymore and then have her liking and commenting all the time. Im so hurt and confused! Your thoughts?
danielmichael Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Next time she reappears you either have to ignore her... or talk to her. Sounds like you are caught in some vicious cycle where you think she wants something but are too timid to be the one that initiates the invite to meet in person. There is always a chance that she just wants to talk to you for some sort of validation, but you wont know unless you actually meet up with her for a drink/ etc.
dasein Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Stop looking at her FB. She is not a worthy person for you, is selfish with an entitled attitude, "things are on the outs with A, so I'll go try to get some attention from Gambler. I won't even stop to think about his feelings, just get what I want." You are a backup attention supply, there may be more. Just defriend her, block her and move on with your life.
Ami1uwant Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 relationship status via facebook....is this what the world is coming to?????
tori0001 Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 FB is evil. It hurts people and kills relationships.
Author Gambler1984 Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 When I reactivate it, if it continues, I just have to ask, "why do you keep liking and commenting on stuff, when I never ever do that to your profile anymore?" I mean, I hope there are romantic feelings for me still, she left on good terms, idk! Its scares me frankly. It would be hard to meet up with her when she's in Texas and I'm in Minnesota! I just so hurt that same guy appeared again after looking like it was up and down almost a year ago. Getting confirmation that she was single and now seeing him appear again! I don't get it! That whole thing sounds bizarre!
Author Gambler1984 Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 I don't look at her FB! I have her profile hidden! I haven't looked at it since September 2011! I noticed her profile picture changing because whenever she comments or likes something, I see the notification.
TheFinalWord Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 We dated for quite a while and then broke up a few times, but always worked it out. The last 10 months she was here, she broke up with me twice, but I'm really certain why, except for the fact that she was moving away for grad school. She moved away for grad school last summer 2011 and had a bf soon afterwards. I stopped communicating when I found out and she told me about it. Thought that I should know. I've been told by other women that if she truly loved me, she would tell me about it! So, September 2011, the guy appeared in her profile pic with her relationship status changed. I deactivated my account after seeing that. I just couldn't take it. Time went by, I got back on, he was no longer in the profile pic. According to my friend, her relationship status went blank in November 2011. Around that time, I got a picture of her cat texted to me out of the blue one Sunday afternoon! I would periodically receive FB likes and some comments on random things. It was a little strange since I basically stopped talking to her. Also, she initiated a FB chat with me late one night. I cut her off and told her I had to go after a few minutes. My friend was talking to her and asked if she was bringing the new guy up for Christmas, she replied with, "it didn't work". but wasnt clear about what didnt work. He couldn't come or they ended it. He said that when he noticed her relationship status had gone blank by then too. Low and behold, the guy appeared again in her profile pic in January and then again in February, but relationship status remained blank. Back in March, the pic of the guy vanished after a couple of weeks and she began to "like" and comment a whole lot more on my wall and to this day, she is the one person who likes and comments on my posts the most out of anyone else. I haven't liked or commented on any of her stuff in well over a year or even looked at her wall. Last winter and in March, I received a picture of her cat once via text and the other via email. Also in March, I received a random phone call from her that I missed, but when I called back the next day, no answer, no acknowledgement of it, but continued to like and comment on stuff. I found her on a dating site this summer, so I hope she's single! Why would an ex do all of this? Why comment/like stuff that doesn't even pertain to you? Its confusing. I still love her and want to be with her and many people that I still will and that she's doing this because she wants me in her life someway. Just as recently as last week, I posted two things on Monday, something on Tuesday. The Tuesday thing got liked Tue night and on Wed night, the monday stuff got both a comment and a like. Its as if she's going back to read through my wall and comment/like on stuff 2-3 days old. I did notice the one time I initiated a FB convo with her, I had to cut it short, but I noticed she tried to keep the convo going by asking, "what else is new?" I got asked that three times! I don't know her to tease or do anything in an intoxicated state, not that kind of woman. I mean she doesn't do the odd random texts or cat pics anymore, but for a time she was. Maybe didn't get the result she wanted? IDK. I mean I don't get random texts or cat pics anymore, but I didn't really respond to them with much haste, so I've been told that she probably thinks I don't care anymore or have moved on? Now it appears as if she is back with that same guy from awhile back. Its been 9 months since he's appeared in her profile picture and on Saturday night, he appeared again and what's weird is its the same picture that she had up back in January! He disappeared back in March and then I started to get contact a lot more. I noticed she was on a dating site from May until it looks like sometime last month. It sounds like these two have broken up twice already and now are dating again 8-9 months later? Very confusing! I deactivated my FB account, i couldnt see this anymore and then have her liking and commenting all the time. Im so hurt and confused! Your thoughts? Friend, You're a back up guy. She's probably on and off all the time with this guy like she was with you. You're always there as a back up. Don't fall for it. Phone call was probably an accidental dial. Pictures could be sent to everyone in her phone. None of that stuff is personal. If she wanted to contact you in a sincere way, nothing would stop her. Don't deactivate your entire account just b/c of her. Just delete her from FB. By letting this girl have access to you (your FB, phone, etc.) whenever she wants, she knows she can always have you at any time and it actually reduces your chances of reconciliation. But to be honest, this girl doesn't sound very good for you. Be glad you two are over. My two cents, having been in one of these situations years ago: time to get selfish and focus on what YOU need to do to heal. What she will think of what you need to do to move on is not important. Also, you don't love her. Love is reciprocated by both people. If she doesn't love you back, it isn't love. It's unhealthy.
Author Gambler1984 Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 I'm not sure that I agree with most of this. I don't believe the phone call was an accident, mainly because I seen her on FB that evening, she was liking and commenting on stuff that afternoon and evening and doing after she rang my phone too. Seemed like she wanted my attention. Also, I don't see why she'd send out a mass text pic of her cat, I didn't notice that in the message. The second time I got a pic, it was through email. I just got the impression, as did others, that the reason for not much direct contact, was that there was some guilt on her part for how we lost touch, shoving this guy from TX in face last September.
TheFinalWord Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 I'm not sure that I agree with most of this. I don't believe the phone call was an accident, mainly because I seen her on FB that evening, she was liking and commenting on stuff that afternoon and evening and doing after she rang my phone too. Seemed like she wanted my attention. Also, I don't see why she'd send out a mass text pic of her cat, I didn't notice that in the message. The second time I got a pic, it was through email. I just got the impression, as did others, that the reason for not much direct contact, was that there was some guilt on her part for how we lost touch, shoving this guy from TX in face last September. Well, hey you know her better than me. I just think you're desperate to find signs from a girl that at best is stringing you along. You guys lost touch b/c she had another guy she was in a relationship with, no real mystery there. If she was in love with you, nothing could stop her from direct contact. What you are doing, which is common when you are hurting, is finding signs in the tea leaves as they say. Basically your mind is seeking patterns to her random behaviors, and you are trying to find deep meaning behind insignificant actions. In reality if she wanted to be with you, she would make sure you knew it. There would be no need for mysterious texts and translation of cryptic FB "likes" and profile pic updates. Whatever it means, hey, let her earn you at this point. That's my advice. That's a sign of love, not random calls. She's the one that went with another guy (which is why things ended BTW; she was probably talking to this guy before grad school and dumped you as an excuse to have full justification to start seeing him). So let her pursue you. I think she won't though b/c you're the back up guy that validates her when she is fighting with the new guy. And honestly, I don't think she is a person to desire. But that's just my opinion. Best to put her out of mind now and move on IMHO.
Author Gambler1984 Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 I thank you for your opinion. She was pretty clear before she moved that she did not want a long distance relationship. My hands are pretty much tied being so far away. We communicated quite a bit after she got there for about a month and I recall her saying the first few weeks how hard it was to meet people and whatnot and then out of the blue, she's "in a relationship"! My friend who knows her and knows her actions, said its almost like she needs to have a guy around or needs to be in a relationship. Hates being lonely.
TheFinalWord Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 I thank you for your opinion. She was pretty clear before she moved that she did not want a long distance relationship. My hands are pretty much tied being so far away. We communicated quite a bit after she got there for about a month and I recall her saying the first few weeks how hard it was to meet people and whatnot and then out of the blue, she's "in a relationship"! My friend who knows her and knows her actions, said its almost like she needs to have a guy around or needs to be in a relationship. Hates being lonely. You're welcome, and again not trying to be harsh to you. I've been the guy reading tea leaves in the past. All it will do is leave you in a sort of limbo state. I think you were right to remove her from FB. I also think she was already talking to a guy and that's why she left. She's just stringing you along when it's convenient for her. When things are going good with this guy, you are no where in her thoughts. Whatever her reasons are, you have to look out for yourself now. There's a saying, if you love someone let them go, if they don't come back to you they were never yours to begin with. Some truth to that. Long distance is tough, but again if she loved you, that wouldn't be a deal breaker. There are lots of hurdles in life and relationships. If someone bails at the first hang-up there is a lot to be said for futurity with that person.
Author Gambler1984 Posted November 21, 2012 Author Posted November 21, 2012 She didn't choose this school in Texas because of a guy. She didn't want a long distance thing and basically was single when she got to Texas. She did nothing wrong in that regard. Funny thing is, even though time times she was with him apparently, she was still contacting me, sending me a few random things here and there and trying to talk to me FB. I deactivated my FB, I didn't delete at least not yet. Maybe I'll keep her on until they get engaged!
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