SheLeftMe Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 I just got a text from my ex fiancé asking if we can meet up for lunch tomorrow so we can talk. Not quite sure about what her intentions are, but i agreed to meet with her to try and work out our differences, not get back together. I still love her very much and would love to give it another shot, but I just don't want to jump into things too quickly. Im not gonna read too much into it because all shes shown is that she has moved on. I just don't understand why she would want to have a "talk" 2 months after we split? With that being said, Is there anything i can do to not make it awkward? Or any certain way to act? Advice appreciated!
veggirl Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 You should have asked her "what is it that you'd like to talk about?" instead of just jumping when she said the word. I think it'd be in your best interest to remain as emotionally detached during this lunch as possible. Remember she dumped you. Don't cry or tell her you love her or ask for a date or any of that BS. She dumped you...she needs to fix it, not you.
Author SheLeftMe Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 I definitely wont be be telling her anything of the sort. It's just weird because the past 2 weeks we have seen eachother on a regular basis (mutual friends get-togethers) and now she decides that she wants to talk. I don't really talk to her when we do each other. Just the occasional "how are the dogs doing" and "hows school going". I wish i knew what it is she wants to talk about. Getting the feeling i'm gonna be walking into a death trap.
KatZee Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Yeah, I agree that you should have asked what she wanted to talk about. Who knows, she could be trying to make it less awkward when you guys see each other out. Since seeing her is fairly new, maybe she feels weird seeing you out and making superficial small talk.
Author SheLeftMe Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 She said to me in her text.. "Hey, can we talk? Maybe tomorrow? Just about things that have happened over the last couple weeks" So I couldnt really respond with "what do you want to talk about?" do to the message she sent. The only thing is i don't really see anything that has happened that would make her want to talk to me. I know with 99% accuracy it's not gonna be her saying she realizes that she made a mistake, so it's just confusing. Im just unsure how to enter this "meeting" without making myself look like i am desperate for her approval and want another chance.
KatZee Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 She said to me in her text.. "Hey, can we talk? Maybe tomorrow? Just about things that have happened over the last couple weeks" this just solidifies what I said above. I would respond with... "We haven't really interacted that much... what exactly has happened? Not sure what you want to talk about." 1
Author SheLeftMe Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 Well she just defriended me from facebook so i think i just got my answer on what she wants to talk to me about. Cutting me out of her life.
CarrieT Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Well she just defriended me from facebook so i think i just got my answer on what she wants to talk to me about. Cutting me out of her life. Don't go to the lunch. She wants closure and you now have it. 2
Own Worst Enemy Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 It would explain wanting to talk about things that have happened in the past few weeks and deleting you from fb so you can't see it - or so he can't see you? Ack sorry this is probably horrifically unhelpful and I am just projecting my own worst middle of the night screaming fear onto you, but it might give you the opportunity to be prepared for it.
Million.to.1 Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 I agree. Flag the lunch now. De-friending you from FB a day before a meeting she arranged is twisted. She just feels awkward seeing you out, and wants to make that ok somehow. Nothing is in this for you. Stay away and continue with your healing.
itsmyfault Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 I agree, DO NOT GO TO LUNCH. Personally, I'd not tell her I was cancelling. Stand her up. If she contacts you with abuse, you will see her for what she really is, This will help you heal. If you make a stand you have the last word.
blue_jay_bird Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Yeah, you should have put more presser on her. Now she knows that she can call you up whenever and you will come running. When you show someone that they can treat you like crap. Guess what ... they will treat you like crap. Walk all over you and use you.
Chi townD Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Given that SHE defriended you on FB; it tells me that there's something she doesn't want you to see. Therefore, I speculate that she going to tell you that she's with someone else and wanted to tell you before you find out from someone else. If this is the case, she's not doing you a favor by telling this to your face. If I were you, I would cancel. Anything she says probably won't be good. So, save yourself from grief. Heal and move on.
Author SheLeftMe Posted November 21, 2012 Author Posted November 21, 2012 Well i stupidly went against everyone's advice here because curiosity got the best of me. She pretty much just wanted to tell me that she was upset that she has saw me so much over the past two weeks. Nothing she couldnt do in a text message. She also wanted to talk about the stuff she still had in my apartment (she paid for the TV and couches, plus she still has a lot of smaller things here). I hung out at our friends house on Sunday to watch football (which just so happens to be the place she is living now) and she got upset because i hung out all day. I was not there for her in the least, but then she throws out "what if i had a guy over or something?" Then she continues to tell me she went out on a couple dates since we split. I never really gotten any closure until now. May not have been the way i wanted it, but i least i have it. It hurts like hell now, but i'm sure it will make me stronger in the end. As soon as i got home, i gathered up all of her things and got them ready to go. She's watching what was once our dogs over the holiday weekend for me so she's going to take everything then. I think this will help me finally start to heal. With that being said, i believe this is going to be my last post. Theres no point in chasing after something that isnt there. I wish everyone the best and hope you all find your happiness someday.
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