ImperfectionisBeauty Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 So I told you about the guy I met at Best Buy who gave me his number and blah blah well we have been texting casually he told me his mom freaked out recently and kicked him out and he was living with friends, but he just told me he doesn't live with friends that he is basically homeless but he lied because he didn't want me to think less of him, and he's like staying in his car. First of all I have no idea how to react, beyond telling him how sorry I am, that is terrible. I feel so bad I want to help but obviously I live at home so I can't offer my house to him, especially since I barely know him. Then I think OMG Thanksgiving is coming up and he is going to have no where to go that is horrible. I just don't know what to say or do it's so sad. What should I say? Do you think my parents would let him come over or stay? Would that be a good idea? I mean I just met him on Saturday. I definitely want to help him I just don't know how. What would make a mother do that to her son?!
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 He has a car, shops in Best Buy and has a smart phone with a data plan … I wouldn't be too worried about him. In fact, why don't let this one go get his life sorted out and look for a guy who has it somewhat together to get to know? 11
Arabella Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 You just met this guy, why are you even thinking of asking your parents to let him stay?! Instead, ask them if he can come over for Thanksgiving dinner. That would be a nice gesture and give you the opportunity to see what kind of person he is in a social context. -A 1
dasein Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 It's a nice sentiment you have, made me smile. Not sure if it's wise to bring him for a holiday, probably not. Would definitely talk about it with your parents and keep your eyes open for scams, be wary of any requests for money. In all likelihood, he did something pretty bad to get kicked out of his house if his mother knew he had no place to go. Parents usually don't do that without serious cause. 2
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 Oh - just checked your other thread, he works at Best Buy. I don't think it bodes very well for this guy's character that he gets a customer's phone number the day before yesterday and is already, apparently, cadging for a place to stay or a holiday invite. Please … no.
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted November 19, 2012 Author Posted November 19, 2012 He has a car, shops in Best Buy and has a smart phone with a data plan … I wouldn't be too worried about him. In fact, why don't let this one go get his life sorted out and look for a guy who has it somewhat together to get to know? I don't know if he shops at best buy, he works there (that is how I met him, he was selling me my computer) and he does have a car, but it is so cold here can you imagine sleeping in a car, it's so sad. I don't want to be mean and drop him because of that you know? I mean he approached me and thought I was attractive enough to want to have me take his number. He hasn't even asked me why I use a cane or anything yet, so it obviously doesn't matter much to him, and that is really good. I just feel so helpless you know? I mean I don't want him to think that that would change my mind about getting to know him but I don't think there is much I could do for him I mean I live with my parents and so I have no control. Even if I lived alone I would not want to have some random person come stay with me.
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted November 19, 2012 Author Posted November 19, 2012 This guy is a genius. He did one better than saying he lives with his parents....he lives in his car! That seems to be the key for getting dates nowadays....living with your parents....having no limbs...and being homeless. What a moron I am for working hard, owning my home, owning 2 cars, and paying my bills on time. The sympathy card seems to work everytime . It's not that. I have sympathy but I do have a small amount of common sense. I want him to be ok but I would never just invite him into my house to stay, I couldn't because it isn't my house. I admire people who work hard and have a car and a job and a house, but I can understand what happened I mean if I got kicked out tomorrow I would have no place to go. He is a student and has tons of bills so I can understand not being able to afford an apartment. I just feel bad I guess and I don't know how to react to it. He seems nice and sincere so I just want everything to work out for him, I also don't want him to think I am rude or uncaring because he is telling me all this stuff and I can't think of anything to say or because I am not offering help.
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 OP - just because some guy - ANY guy - shows an interest in you, it does NOT mean that there are any good reasons to go forward with said guy. Just be flattered that he took and interest. A homeless fellow is not "dating material" for anyone. He needs to get his s**t together first. One more thing. Consider trying dating the "old fashioned" way for a little while. This is where you make contact somehow (at Best Buy, or out at night or through friends or even OLD - I know that's not old fashioned but we'll let that one go). That is followed by an exchange of phone numbers. And next comes a DATE. No sexting, no sex Skyping, no planning with engaged guys, no meeting strangers in motels, no back and forth texting or emails. Just a regular, good old fashioned date. You'll like it.
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted November 19, 2012 Author Posted November 19, 2012 I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the two of you may not be compatible. I feel like crap he probably thinks I am a POS person because I just go into Best Buy and pay so much for a computer and he is struggling to even have a place to live.. I am a real piece.
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted November 19, 2012 Author Posted November 19, 2012 You are not responsible for anyone's well being except your own Why is this guy any special, compared to the other thousands of homeless people? Are you going to help them too? I always give money to the homeless people who I see standing outside with their signs. I feel so bad you know? I just feel so bad and everything he is telling me just makes me feel so much worse I have no idea what to say or do. What should I say to him? He is telling me how much his mom hates him and how he has nothing and I am just totally lost at what to say.
ThaWholigan Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 I always give money to the homeless people who I see standing outside with their signs. I feel so bad you know? I just feel so bad and everything he is telling me just makes me feel so much worse I have no idea what to say or do. What should I say to him? He is telling me how much his mom hates him and how he has nothing and I am just totally lost at what to say. I do that. I gave a homeless man my last fiver and walked home once. I was knackered afterwards but it was worth it. My mother wasn't too pleased because she wanted the change for something because we were broke too. You just have to suck it up to be honest, there isn't much you can do for him, you barely know him. Sort out your own stuff and try not to let your heart bleed for too many people otherwise you will find yourself in some situations that you could have avoided if you kept a level head.
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted November 19, 2012 Author Posted November 19, 2012 You need to find a boyfriend that will educate you on the realities of life. Do you realize how much you are getting suckered by giving to those idiots? A lot of those people have jobs...or are in the situation because their own actions....not because random hard times. I know but you can't tell me that you can look those people in the face while you are driving in your nice car and just be like "whatever". I just feel bad for them, and it is only a few dollars that more than likely I would use to go to starbucks or some fast food place. So why not just give it to them? I'm sure they could use it way more than I can.
Mme. Chaucer Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 I know but you can't tell me that you can look those people in the face while you are driving in your nice car and just be like "whatever". I just feel bad for them, and it is only a few dollars that more than likely I would use to go to starbucks or some fast food place. So why not just give it to them? I'm sure they could use it way more than I can. Okay. But this is not really the same topic as a guy you're writing about in the "dating" section. A guy with a car, a job and a cell phone.
Later82012 Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 I am very sincere, I have only one underwear and it has holes, I do not have any other clothes, a car is a dream, I live under a bridge, it gets damn cold at nights where I live and everyone in the world hates me except myself. ImperfectionisBeauty, will you marry me please?
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted November 19, 2012 Author Posted November 19, 2012 I am very sincere, I have only one underwear and it has holes, I do not have any other clothes, a car is a dream, I live under a bridge, it gets damn cold at nights where I live and everyone in the world hates me except myself. ImperfectionisBeauty, will you marry me please? Lol I am not a fool. I just feel like he has no real reason to lie you know? I mean he barely knows me.
Later82012 Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 Well...I am disappointed. I thought if I am in a worse situation I'd get something better out of you. Maybe he saw that you are a kind soul and thinks you live alone and is trying to get into your home. Have you thought about that? Why do you want to expose yourself and your family to strangers? You barely know him. Who knows what he is up to and what his plans are. There are millions of people all over the world that need help. We don't need to invite them into our homes in order to help them. You know him for only a few days, but he might be having friends that he knows for years, right? He could go to them or they could invite him over to their places if he needs a place to stay. If his mom is not worried about him, why are you worried about him? He is not your problem. Be safe.
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted November 19, 2012 Author Posted November 19, 2012 He has a job, a car, a phone. From the sounds of it he got kicked out by his mum, probably after an argument. In other words, HE IS HOMELESS BY CHOICE. If he is that desperate, he has the option of apologising or selling those things. He is not your burden, stop being a sucker. If you get roped into this he is going to walk all over you, I guarantee it. He's full of self-pity and he's trying to influence you by pulling on your heart strings. A hostel costs like $10 - $20 dollars a night and there are cheaper options than that. You barely know the guy, and you owe him nothing. Reign yourself in before you get hurt. There is nothing I can do anyways even if I wanted. My parents support me I lib with them and I'm a full time student so I hardly ever have money. I kind of feel like he is hinting at me giving him money (which I can't) I'm not a total fool I watch the judge shows. Oh well it sucks but I guess I can't do anything. Dreamer he is 23
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted November 19, 2012 Author Posted November 19, 2012 Then please stop worrying so much about it! I feel stupid, I think he is hinting at me to give it to him. He is like telling me how much he needs and stuff.. He isn't like directly asking but he is saying all this sad stuff and how he only need x amount to pay rent. I feel stupid, he probably thought I had a **** ton of money because I was buying a Macbook. Little does he know my mom bought it for my christmas/birthday and I am saving up to pay the insurance on it. Maybe I am just thinking the worst? I don't know but I know I can't help.
kaylan Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Works at best buy? Homeless? Sounds like you two are both young folk. 18 to 22 right? Thats the only way this would make sense. 1
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 Works at best buy? Homeless? Sounds like you two are both young folk. 18 to 22 right? Thats the only way this would make sense. I'm 21 he is 23 almost.
kaylan Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 (edited) And he mustn't be too much of a good dude if his parents are willing to just throw him out...and then he has no friends to stay with on top of that? Im 26, just started a decent job and am saving to move out...but if I ever couldnt come home, I have friends who would take me in. Something is off with this guy. He should be thinking about his living arrangements before trying to pick up women. I took a year off from serious dating because I wanted to focus on finding a decent full time job. Dating eats your money and takes away your focus. This guy needs to get his life together first. OP...I remember that youre a sister. Please dont get involved with some low class dude who will bring you down. Black women dont need any more guys like that. Let him get his life together first. He needs to be in school too if hes going to have a lame part time job. Or he better be one of the fulltime managers at Best Buy. (which I doubt if hes got no money to live anywhere but a car) Edited November 20, 2012 by kaylan
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 And he mustn't be too much of a good dude if his parents are willing to just throw him out...and then he has no friends to stay with on top of that? Im 26, just started a decent job and am saving to move out...but if I ever couldnt come home, I have friends who would take me in. Something is off with this guy. He should be thinking about his living arrangements before trying to pick up women. I took a year off from serious dating because I wanted to focus on finding a decent full time job. Dating eats your money and takes away your focus. This guy needs to get his life together first. OP...I remember that youre a sister. Please dont get involved with some low class dude who will bring you down. Black women dont need any more guys like that. Let him get his life together first. He needs to be in school too if hes going to have a lame part time job. Or he better be one of the fulltime managers at Best Buy. (which I doubt if hes got no money to live anywhere but a car) Lol the he is in school, he is getting a masters right now so that is admirable, and he is white. I don't want to judge him for his financial situation because it could easily be me, but I ALWAYS meet guys who are broke or have kids or are just not in ideal situations. God is really playing a practical joke on me I think.
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 This man is a con artist and he immediately noted you thrive on external validation. You are highly flattered because he paid attention to you. He wants your money and your poosie. Nothing else! if that validates you then go for it. Well as of right now he is getting neither. Are you going to tell me that every single guy that talks to me just is using me? I mean honestly maybe a guy might like me because I am nice and sometimes I look pretty.?
veggirl Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Wow. so what did he do to get kicked out of his house? I think it takes a lot for a parent to make their child homeless, so I'd be concerned about that. Hmmm maybe he could get on welfare or get food stamps or some other public assistance Then what would you do?
Recommended Posts