BornToDie Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 My boyfriend and I dated for 2 and a half years before we broke up. A year and a half in, he cheated with his ex, but we worked through it. I broke up with him in July, and late September, we started hanging out again. At first, things were wonderful. Shortly after, he started being strange and saying he just wanted to be friends. He said he was not sure if something else was out there. It broke my heart. We continued to spend time together, and the week before Halloween, it was clear he wanted to be with me. The weekend after Halloween, we got back together. I gave him two conditions: one, if the ex tries to talk to you, don't hide it from me. Two, go in and delete all messages from other girls so that I won't see them and get upset. Last night, I saw his phone sitting there and couldn't help myself. I found text messages from his ex girlfriend where he said he liked her and wanted to hang out with her again. The last message was on October 18. It upset me so much because I noticed that after she stopped texting him, he started showing interest in me. It made me feel like he's only with me because he can't have her, and I told him that. He said there was no reason for me to be upset because the messages were before we got back together. He promised I had nothing to worry about and said his parents didn't like her and love me, and their opinion matters. Still, I have nightmares about him leaving me for her. This really gets under my skin. It did happen before we reconciled, and he says I'm the one who makes him happy... Should I be worried?
Joaquin Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 This is so WRONG. How could you stick this kinda treatment. The push, pull, use, mistreat, lie, cheat. But you let him away with it all, so I guess your partly to blame. After he ****s his ex, not only do you go back for more, he remains in contact with the ex. Yes, you should be worried, not for this non-relationship since it isnt worth anything, but that you've lost of your ability to think in the fog of his BS. 1
Author BornToDie Posted November 19, 2012 Author Posted November 19, 2012 He never had sex with her, he's only had sex with me. He isn't talking to her now, and I had no clue he was talking to her while we were broken up until last night.
veggirl Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Do not get back together with him. He should not have ANY contact with the person he CHEATED on you with! He has no respect for you and you are right, he likely is with you because he can't have her. Forget him, he is a lying douchebag and you can't trust him at all! 2
Author BornToDie Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 Thing is, we're already back together. I only found these the other night. He was talking to her when he and I were broken up. He told me he was alone at the time and had no one to talk to, and he didn't want to talk to me, so he talked to her but then realized he didn't want to be with her anymore. He hasn't talked to her since he and I got back together.
Leigh 87 Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 You should not have taken him back after cheating. You lived without him for a period, and should have kept on going!!!!!!!!! My bf and I cannot handle even being apart for a day or two, so the fact you already lived without him for a while means you should have kept GOING without him..... This is NOT healthy! He may like you a lot, but he is certainly not seriously in love with you! If he was, he would clearly pick you; he would not have cheated and then talked to the girl after cheating on you with her! He would not be stuck on two girls if he really, really loved you! The good news is: he is not seriously in love with his ex either, seeing as he is stuck between the two of you! Let him go and hopefully find a women he truly does love enough to be faithfull to, and go and find a guy who deserves you and who will not cheat on you! There are so many men out there who will NOT cheat, so why the hell take back a guy who HAS?
Emilia Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 Should I be worried? Yes. He made it clear he was looking around to find someone better at some point. He hasn't succeeded but that doesn't mean he won't try that in the future. You shouldn't allow men treat you like a pushover.
veggirl Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 Thing is, we're already back together. I only found these the other night. He was talking to her when he and I were broken up. He told me he was alone at the time and had no one to talk to, and he didn't want to talk to me, so he talked to her but then realized he didn't want to be with her anymore. He hasn't talked to her since he and I got back together. So what if you are back together? That doesn't mean you have to stay together. He hasn't talked to her since you got back together THAT YOU KNOW OF. He hid cheating once, what makes you think he can't do it again? Or won't do it again? People who are over their exes don't seek them out to talk to, period. Especially when that ex was part of why his relationship ended. Has he no friends, no family that he could have talked to? I find that hard to believe. He did not have to choose his ex. No matter how lonely or depressed I've felt, I've never sought out an ex that I am OVER for a chat. And he didn't have sex with her, again, THAT YOU KNOW OF. 1
GSB81 Posted November 22, 2012 Posted November 22, 2012 I'm a little unclear on something. If he has not had sex with her, what did his cheating consist of exactly?
Author BornToDie Posted November 26, 2012 Author Posted November 26, 2012 When he cheated on me with her, he touched her. Despite that, cheating is cheating. Anyways, he's been perfectly fine ever since and says he doesn't want to be with anyone else. When he was hanging out with her, she was trying to get back together with her boyfriend of 3 years, so that's why nothing happened. He told me there is nothing special about her whereas my personality is so much better, which is why he decided to pursue me instead.
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