trtxoxo Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 My boyfriend and I have been together a year now and since before we got together he has worked in the oilfield and we do live together. He works a month away and only home for about 10 days. I know it gets lonely for the both of us. He came home this time and I was so excited untill I started going through his phone (I always do this) and was reading some texts from him and his buddy that he works with. His buddy (is engaged) was telling my boyfriend that he could sleep in his bed bacause 'buddy' was going to stay at a girls. My man said "lol I'm coming!!" his buddy in return said "I told her you were comming back and shes said ohhh yay" then proceeded to talk about another girl and that girl and how the girls do stuff together and how his buddy hooks up with both of them. And my man says "sh*t tell her to make it a foursome!!" My heart dropped and I was furrious. When he finally got up there I dont know what happened there were no more texts (because he was there and didnt need to text the guy anymore, they could talk in person now) He swears that he was just trying to be funny to his 'buddy' and has never cheated on me. It just worries me bause he is up there for a month away from me, I have no clue what is actually happening... do I take his word? I cant help but over think everything. Because he talked about cheating on me. I didnt find it funny and let him know that. But I cant get It off my mind. I need advice from guys and girls please. i love him so much and it would just kill me... and his buddys poor fiance I hope the dosent marry him...
Later82012 Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 I think he was just trying to be funny, but you should know him better since you are with him for a year now.
Author trtxoxo Posted November 19, 2012 Author Posted November 19, 2012 I think he was just trying to be funny, but you should know him better since you are with him for a year now. I hope so. I trust that he wouldn't cheat on me it just really scares me. We have only had one problem before but has never cheated. And the fact that those girls know him really bothers me. His friend told him "I told her you were coming back" that made me curious. And since he has gotten back he has been a little on edge.
veggirl Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 So he stays the night at this girls house? and it's a girl, his buddy, another girl and him? I dont know, whether or not he is doing anything with one of the girls, seems inappropriate. I wouldn't be cool with a boyfriend staying at any chicks house. how come you read all his texts? has he done something in the past?
Author trtxoxo Posted November 19, 2012 Author Posted November 19, 2012 No he doesnt stay at other girls houses. They are out of town working. His buddy does, these girls work at a bar that they go and eat at, that is how the girls know them. But his buddy knows them on a personal level. I over analize everything is my head usually. I have been cheated on before so I like to becareful and sway away from any from of emotional pain. I never started to question him until he started which in turn made me question him back. I have never done anything to make him question me, its just his nature. Him on the other hand, when we first got together he met up with his ex in a public place to tell her goodbye because she was moving. That didnt settle well with me or her boyfriend. Also he hid this from me I found out the hard way. And she will randomly try to check on him which I dont tolerate. And he tells me when she does so. I do trust him and he does trust me. Those texts just seemed really out of character for him. It really does help to hear other people say that they think he was just joking also. Because like I said I over analize things in my head and make them to be something they arent. So thank you all for your replies. I'm just scared he is getting bored with me when he is away, trsut me he shouldnt because I do plenty to keep him entertained and excited to come back.
Author trtxoxo Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 That was my concern because I know most guys when they say something they think they genuinely think that way. There isn't much beating around the bush. I had no idea that he had temptations, but reading what I read I can't deny it. He can though. To me I didn't find it as him joking. I am sure those girls don't care but I expected him to. I'm sure his buddy would try to talk him into doing something. They do drink while they are up there. I told him "If you can say that when your sober I can't imagine what you do when your drunk." And your right it was a HUGE RED FLAG to me. Because that meant she somehow knows him. I don't want to bring it up again becasue I know it will cause a fight and I want him to have a good time while he's home since I know he will be back up there in another week.
Sameold Posted November 21, 2012 Posted November 21, 2012 Us guys have been known to joke around about flirting and getting with other girls etc when in actual fact we would never ever really do such a thing. However, the "yay" comment is the flag for me and I would dig deeper. If you are reading his phone and he wouldn't want you to that is a red flag. However the very fact that you are going through his phone tells me you don't trust him. You need a big sit-down to discuss this as adults at which point you will probably be able to tell what is going on.
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