ditzchic Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 Well guys. I reconnected with an ex from over a year ago about 3 months ago and we instantly reconnected. We aren't dating but we are talking. Very frequently. Almost daily. He initiates about 75% of contact. We have a bit of distance between us (about an horus drive) and I know this is an issue for him. He wants someone he can spend basically everyday with and he's brought up the distance being the thing that kept us apart a few times since we've reconnected. We've seen each other once since we started talking again and it was awkward. We are both waiting on a do-over but we can't ever seem to get the schedule right. We both keep trying though. For weekend day dates, which is awesome because it takes away the possibility of someone getting too drunk or something and having to spend the night and making not the best informed decisions. Here's the thing. Lately he's been amping up the sex talk. He even very drunkenly booty texted me a few weeks ago at 3am. I shut him down and the next day everything was back to normal. This past saturday he had a work party and then went out for more drinks with coworkers when he was done and got REALLY drunk. He texted me at 3am. When I was asleep and didn't respond he kept texting until I did wake up and I told him he was crazy and to leave me sleep. He stopped. And texted me the next day around noon to ask if I wanted to go on a bike ride with him. I couldnt go I had plans. He did his thing and texted me when he got home. We were doing our usual teasing and banter that we do. And all of a sudden things turned very sexual very quickly. He ended up saying something that left me completely stunned basically asking me if I wanted to f*ck him the last time I saw him. So I freaked out. I had no idea what to do or say so I did the best thing I could think to do and asked him to please shut up about all that. He found that hilarious and was like "well wow. I never thought it would have been that big of a hot button for you ;)" then I felt like a complete tool because I totally blew my playing it cool cover. I went for silent for about 10 mins and he sent an apology text saying he didn't mean to take it that far. It was just a joke. Then idle chit chat until I fell asleep on him. Does all this sound to you like he's interested in a booty call? Or like he could possibly want to try again? The distance thing worries me because, to me, it's a non-issue. An hour is nothing for someone I like. But if he sees it that way, maybe he just isn't all that into me? Insights please?
DC4 Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 A series of 3am texts are booty calls. If he seriously wanted to revisit the relationship he'd sit you down and have an honest conversation. If you want to have sex with him, go for it. Based on your post I would be shocked to my core if he wanted anything else from you. Sorry
jestereve Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 Uh, this sounds like such a crappy situation. If he is the kind of person who will respect you and take you seriously, then he wouldn't be doing the booty call texting. I'm caught up in a similar scenario of sorts, wanting to reconnect with an ex but not feeling equally respected. If I were you, I would take some time to cool off. Hang with loved ones, do stuff to make you feel great, and clear your head. Let him know what you want out of this and if he cannot give it to you, then that's all that's left, and move on. If you don't just want a booty call, leave this be. It's not worth the heartache, trust me!
Author ditzchic Posted November 19, 2012 Author Posted November 19, 2012 From my experience, when I called a girl to "hang" or "chill" after 11pm, it was always a booty call.... Let me rephrase my original question. I KNOW he wants to sleep with me. And that's ok. I want to date him. Someone being attracted to me is something I look for in guys I date. I'm asking if logically, sex is the ONLY thing he wants from me. He's only really officially booty texted me once and it's kind of a special circumstance. We were texting back and forth all night. It was like a date through text. We started at 9, were both drinking at home and watching the same show on tv. The conversation didn't turn sexual until 3am when he was super drunk and he asked why in the hell I wasn't there by now. And that's when it started. I told him it wasn't happening that way and he stopped. The other time he texted me at 3am, nothing sexual was said officially. He was just being drunk and looking for attention. We talk daily about all kinds of things for hours. He told me he was "so attracted to me right now." to me while were talking about politics one time. Politics!! The least sexy subject of all!! My concern is that he wants it to be a fwb type situation because he hasn't brought up officially trying again. And while he's making an effort to ask me to do stuff with him, he isn't making a huge effort to make it happen. The first time we were together he moved mountains to make it happen. That's not there this time and I'm not sure if this is him stepping carefully or him not being interested in anything but my lady biz.
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 The way I see it, he just wants sex and to fill time when he is bored. Then when he thinks he went too far and his possibility of having sex is going down the drain, he apologizes. If he really wanted you back, he would have clearly said so. And he would be too afraid of "blowing it" and too respectful of you to do the booty calls. Also, one hour drive is nothing when you are into someone. It's just an excuse.
Recommended Posts