Imported Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 Dale Carnegie's "How to win friends and influence people" is not a PUA book and was written for sales people, but gets recommended a lot for PUA. Available on amazon kindle or whatever eBook app you want How To Win Friends and Influence People: Dale Carnegie: Amazon.com: Kindle Store That was the only PUA type book I bought. But I also read all the free stuff on girlschase.com. Starting to not like that blog though. When it was just the original guy doing everything, all the writing was cut and dry and useful. Now he's expanded and got some people working for him writing new **** that is mostly fluff and crap. The older material is good though and still there. 1
Pyro Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 I don't know. I'm a hunter for information and I didn't find it - at least not the ones that specifically dealt with what I was looking for. Maybe DY is right, maybe I should write a book and filter out the bollocks . Let met get some dates/relationships under my belt first ...... The Trials and Tribulations of Goatface?
ThaWholigan Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 Dale Carnegie's "How to win friends and influence people" is not a PUA book and was written for sales people, but gets recommended a lot for PUA. Available on amazon kindle or whatever eBook app you want How To Win Friends and Influence People: Dale Carnegie: Amazon.com: Kindle Store That was the only PUA type book I bought. But I also read all the free stuff on girlschase.com. Starting to not like that blog though. When it was just the original guy doing everything, all the writing was cut and dry and useful. Now he's expanded and got some people working for him writing new **** that is mostly fluff and crap. The older material is good though and still there. I can honestly say that I never spent a penny on PUA - with the exception of Code Of The Natural, one Xuma program and Tao of Badass. They were relatively cheap.
ThaWholigan Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 The Trials and Tribulations of Goatface? Absolutely - this is the intro.... 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 When being myself wasn't working then I decided that I had to do something about it. This was during a time before LS existed to me and when I only used the internet for homework and email. I had to do things the old fashion way. My problem was that I lacked confidence, assertiveness and that I worried too much about what others thought of me. I knew that some things about ME needed to change. I read one simple book entitled 'People Skills' which helped me open up my communication skills and taught me how to be assertive. The confidence easily developed as a result of all that. My point is that there are ways that you can go about improving yourself without having to get involved with all that PUA stuff. I have THE EXACT same problem. Going to check out that book.
tman666 Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 From another unrelated forum, from a similarly themed thread: "I have 0 natural game. I have done the whole PUA thing though. Basically went through a several month period where I would just blatantly tell women all the dirty sh*t I wanted to do with them after about 10 minutes of conversation. Had an unexaggerated 100% hit rate, slept with 4 women in 5 weeks. Got 2 women to dump their 'boyfriends'. Got into a serious relationship with a 9/10. She ripped my heart out. Now I'm an emotional wreck because I realize the ease it takes to f*ck random who are already in 'relationships' and know it will most likely be done to me. Now I can't even bring myself to sleep with random women I have in the bag basically. Emotionally f*cked. Don't have the desire for a relationship of any sort anymore." Poor sentence structure aside, this poster's account of his PUA experience brings forth some questions. Would you be able to walk away from the entire thing with a healthy attitude towards women and relationships? What if you fall for one of the girls you picked up (using PUA tactics)? What happens when the next guy comes along with better "game" than you had? If she was taken by your bag of tricks, what's to prevent her from falling for the lines of another smooth talker? I'll be honest: you don't strike me as the kind of guy that would be able to have strings of ONS's without getting attached. Then again, I don't know you personally, so it's highly possible that I'm way off base with that assessment. However, if you truly believe that you can stay emotionally detached from the girls you're banging, you might be in the clear. Again, I don't think this is you, but only you can answer that question. Personally, my heart and emotions could never tolerate that type of casual encounter. I'd think long and hard about the possibility of losing a part of yourself (other than your swimmers ) before going down that road.
MrCastle Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 From another unrelated forum, from a similarly themed thread: "I have 0 natural game. I have done the whole PUA thing though. Basically went through a several month period where I would just blatantly tell women all the dirty sh*t I wanted to do with them after about 10 minutes of conversation. Had an unexaggerated 100% hit rate, slept with 4 women in 5 weeks. Got 2 women to dump their 'boyfriends'. Got into a serious relationship with a 9/10. She ripped my heart out. Now I'm an emotional wreck because I realize the ease it takes to f*ck random who are already in 'relationships' and know it will most likely be done to me. Now I can't even bring myself to sleep with random women I have in the bag basically. Emotionally f*cked. Don't have the desire for a relationship of any sort anymore." Poor sentence structure aside, this poster's account of his PUA experience brings forth some questions. Would you be able to walk away from the entire thing with a healthy attitude towards women and relationships? What if you fall for one of the girls you picked up (using PUA tactics)? What happens when the next guy comes along with better "game" than you had? If she was taken by your bag of tricks, what's to prevent her from falling for the lines of another smooth talker? I'll be honest: you don't strike me as the kind of guy that would be able to have strings of ONS's without getting attached. Then again, I don't know you personally, so it's highly possible that I'm way off base with that assessment. However, if you truly believe that you can stay emotionally detached from the girls you're banging, you might be in the clear. Again, I don't think this is you, but only you can answer that question. Personally, my heart and emotions could never tolerate that type of casual encounter. I'd think long and hard about the possibility of losing a part of yourself (other than your swimmers ) before going down that road. That was one person's experience with pua. That's not the be all end all. Admittedly, learning game and understanding what works on women has caused them to lose some luster in my eyes. It's a shame that they respond to some of the stuff they respond to, but it is what it is. I always say, I'm looking for results. I can choose to do my own thing and hopefully find a girl that DOESN'T use my niceness as an excuse to walk all over me, or I can save that search for when I want a LTR and do what's necessary in the meantime to get laid. I've never hooked up with a girl in a relationship (there have been plenty of chances to do so), I never lied, manipulated, or mistreated women in any way. I've also said this before, pua is what you make of it. Like anything else. If you're a douche, you're gonna use the material to become a bigger douche. If you're a guy just looking for improvements in your interactions with females, you will get that. I'll tell you this, you will never walk away from pua feeling like you know less about women, or that you haven't even marginally improved your relationships.
tman666 Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 That was one person's experience with pua. That's not the be all end all. Never said it was, brotha! All I'm doing is presenting some questions that probably need to answered (by Hokie, mind you; not us) BEFORE jumping head first into the PUA arena.
peytondoll Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 (edited) From another unrelated forum, from a similarly themed thread: "I have 0 natural game. I have done the whole PUA thing though. Basically went through a several month period where I would just blatantly tell women all the dirty sh*t I wanted to do with them after about 10 minutes of conversation. Had an unexaggerated 100% hit rate, slept with 4 women in 5 weeks. Got 2 women to dump their 'boyfriends'. QUOTE] This is what I am talking about. This is the attitude of PUA. The sense that women are objects and that men are entitled to sex. I dont think casual sex is damaging to women. But I do believe men that prey on women with this type of attitude are VERY damaging to women. I work at a sex clinic so dont tell me I am biased either. I see alot more of this stuff than all of you put together I have had men try to do this too me and I run for the mother f**** hills and they get all pissy when I do. I find it funny it doesnt bother me. I highly doubt 100% of women would sleep with a guy that acted this way...my friends and I all think guys like this are scum. No, I bet these men are going after a very certain type of woman and then come back and complain they are low class and bitch and moan that all women are cheaters, selfish, attention seeking, blah blah blah Edited November 19, 2012 by peytondoll 1
Pyro Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 I have THE EXACT same problem. Going to check out that book. Do it. It was a life changer.
Anela Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 I'm all for a world where lots of cute, interesting, funny guys have game. You and Hokie included. I also have faith in my own ability to judge wether or not a potential partner has integrity. I didn't trust myself in that way for years, and even now, I'm iffy, due to someone who seemed to have a lot of integrity, only for him to decide to start involving himself in stupidity and to be such a douchebag... I had a certain amount of confidence in myself, but not enough to just cut contact right away, once I had feelings for him. the whole situation was weird and demoralizing. I used to be able to tell right away. I would just feel unsafe around someone, and would be polite, but my mother could always tell - yet she made bad choices, all the same. I saw my mother get bamboozled, more than once, and I thought if it could happen to her, then it could happen to anyone.
Kamille Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Hope Hokie won't mind some threadjacking. (Love you Hoks!) Do it. It was a life changer. I just checked it out on Amazon and ordered it. Seems to offer a lot of the kind of advice I've been trying to teach myself. Thanks Pyro. I didn't trust myself in that way for years, and even now, I'm iffy, due to someone who seemed to have a lot of integrity, only for him to decide to start involving himself in stupidity and to be such a douchebag... I had a certain amount of confidence in myself, but not enough to just cut contact right away, once I had feelings for him. the whole situation was weird and demoralizing. I used to be able to tell right away. I would just feel unsafe around someone, and would be polite, but my mother could always tell - yet she made bad choices, all the same. I saw my mother get bamboozled, more than once, and I thought if it could happen to her, then it could happen to anyone. You know, I could rephrase and say that A) I usually trust my instincts but B) I also have faith in my own resilience. And C) I don't hold myself responsible for other people's lack of integrity. That's on them, not me (and that view has usually made it really easy for me to walk away from liers/cheaters.)
Anela Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 When being myself wasn't working then I decided that I had to do something about it. This was during a time before LS existed to me and when I only used the internet for homework and email. I had to do things the old fashion way. My problem was that I lacked confidence, assertiveness and that I worried too much about what others thought of me. I knew that some things about ME needed to change. I read one simple book entitled 'People Skills' which helped me open up my communication skills and taught me how to be assertive. The confidence easily developed as a result of all that. My point is that there are ways that you can go about improving yourself without having to get involved with all that PUA stuff. Yes, I can relate, too. 1
Pyro Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Hope Hokie won't mind some threadjacking. (Love you Hoks!) I just checked it out on Amazon and ordered it. Seems to offer a lot of the kind of advice I've been trying to teach myself. Thanks Pyro. That's two of you now interested. No pressure Pyro. Enjoy the read. What author?
Kamille Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 That's two of you now interested. No pressure Pyro. Enjoy the read. What author? The one by Bolton. Seems to have quite a good deal on assertiveness.
Pyro Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 The one by Bolton. Seems to have quite a good deal on assertiveness. That's the one!
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 The one by Bolton. Seems to have quite a good deal on assertiveness. Do you know of any good books on assertiveness Kam?
Author USMCHokie Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 I'll be honest: you don't strike me as the kind of guy that would be able to have strings of ONS's without getting attached. Then again, I don't know you personally, so it's highly possible that I'm way off base with that assessment. However, if you truly believe that you can stay emotionally detached from the girls you're banging, you might be in the clear. Again, I don't think this is you, but only you can answer that question. Personally, my heart and emotions could never tolerate that type of casual encounter. I'd think long and hard about the possibility of losing a part of yourself (other than your swimmers ) before going down that road. Yea, like I love to say, I don't know what I don't know...it might not be for me, but I won't really ever know until I live it and find out for myself...
Author USMCHokie Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 This is what I am talking about. This is the attitude of PUA. The sense that women are objects and that men are entitled to sex. I dont think casual sex is damaging to women. But I do believe men that prey on women with this type of attitude are VERY damaging to women. I work at a sex clinic so dont tell me I am biased either. I see alot more of this stuff than all of you put together I have had men try to do this too me and I run for the mother f**** hills and they get all pissy when I do. I find it funny it doesnt bother me. I highly doubt 100% of women would sleep with a guy that acted this way...my friends and I all think guys like this are scum. No, I bet these men are going after a very certain type of woman and then come back and complain they are low class and bitch and moan that all women are cheaters, selfish, attention seeking, blah blah blah Perhaps it's my failures when doing it the "right" and honorable way, losing out to those men who do seem to succeed with these methods, that has frustrated me to the point of giving this a whirl. Maybe I'm the one who is doing it wrong all along...
Pyro Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Perhaps it's my failures when doing it the "right" and honorable way, losing out to those men who do seem to succeed with these methods, that has frustrated me to the point of giving this a whirl. Maybe I'm the one who is doing it wrong all along... Now how do you know for sure that they succeed due to those methods?
Author USMCHokie Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 Now how do you know for sure that they succeed due to those methods? Versus success due to being tall, white, and/or unusually good looking...?
Pyro Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Versus success due to being tall, white, and/or unusually good looking...? PUA vs. non PUA methods. Height and looks will only get you so far.
Author USMCHokie Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 PUA vs. non PUA methods. Height and looks will only get you so far. I'm a believer in social value...so if you don't have the two, you have to make up for it somehow...
Pyro Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 I'm a believer in social value...so if you don't have the two, you have to make up for it somehow... and that is where the PUA vs. non PUA methods talk comes from.
jcrew11 Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Yea, like I love to say, I don't know what I don't know...it might not be for me, but I won't really ever know until I live it and find out for myself... I think a lot of success in dating comes from confidence in past experiences. As a man, gets more success with women, he learns more about what works and what doesn't work. Also, feeling happy about success creates confidence that women are attracted to. Its not necessary the "PUA tactics" that attract women. It is the guy's newfound success breeds success confidence. Successfully dating one women makes a guy happy, and women "want what other women have." Since you are able to land one girl and satisfy her, other girls will feel like they are missing out. You are no longer seen as a "desperate lonely loser" but a "socially successful sexual stud" In many ways, women encourage men to resort to "PUA Player Personalities" because women are turning down the "awkward losers" for the "Alpha Men" - If the "losers" were getting girls, then they wouldn't have to resort to mimicking the behavior of the Alpha Males.
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