Hokie's Reckless Journey Into the PUA World...

[Hawakai]

So I don't really have a whole lot going on for the next year or so, so I figured I could spend what little free time I have to focus on something...and I've never been a fan of the PUA industry or the methods, but after reading some random articles off MSN during some down time at work, I became slightly intrigued.

 

And many of you know that i prefer to view the world in black and white, as a balance of two extremes...so I figure, what the hell, what do I have to lose? What's the worst that could happen...? Why not completely change up the way I approach social interaction? Maybe I've been doing it wrong all along by "being myself"...if nothing else, this can be a social experiment and a learning experience. It's an approach that is completely foreign to me, so it might also be an educational challenge as well. I could possibly end up devoting the next few years of my life to becoming the douche I've always dreamt of being...

 

So I was intending for this thread to almost be a place for me to "blog" about my thoughts, questions, experiences, and the such. I'll spend the next couple months doing the "study" part of the process and come here to discuss the things I've read...then I'll let loose with reckless abandon in a very time-constrained environment in Australia, with my partner in crime, ES. Hopefully... Thats when I'll spill the beans as to whether I actually learned anything. When I get back from Australia, I'll probably spend my time on something a little more engaging, like arts and crafts.

 

So to start out, what resources would you recommend for someone starting out in this, whether online, print, etc....? Any other thoughts or recommendations...?

 

 

I don't see why not. Why shouldn't try to see if it(PUA) works for you? Every guy should have the chance to sleep with as many women as possible, as its only fair to share the sexual power between the sexes.

 

You know, I think the irony here is that PUA's value is in the mindset you helps you develop. That women are as abundant as the stars in the sky and if one shines dimmer for you; you move on to the next star.

 

All you need to do is to not give a damn about the outcome. Troll the girl. Flirt with the girl. Ignore her. Move on to another girl.

 

A personal example is how most of the guys in my class are intimdated by this 6 feet tall natural red haired Australian girl with a very busty figure(not obese, real breasts) and she's a complete knock-out. I'm like, the contrast from darkness to light when compared to her, but I felt like having some fun, so I flirted the hell out of here. Not only did she correspond in a flirty manner, she didn't inform me that she had a boyfriend. it was her girlfriend who told me she was engaged to some guy back in Australia.

 

The thing is, it does seem that the most attractive of women can be talked into bed by guys who are nothing to look at. Maybe she was horny and any guy would do. With most men being so terrified of her, it'd explain her response to me. But it does show you that if a decent-looking dude - but nothing to look at - can attract the sexual interest(and that's all that really matters) then pretty much any guy with good-looks/patience/tenacity can get laid by very attractive women. You don't need game, bro. You just need to not give a damn and to go for it.

Edited November 19, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed inflammatory comment

[Kamille]

Hey now, the ShakeWeight is an outstanding piece of gear!

 

But I think I'd be fine with trying to attract the lower IQ women...because I learned in my last relationship that recently ended that I will never be happy in any relationship until I get this out of my system and rid myself of the race issue...so I am fine with an indefinite string of meaningless and casual relationships, for lack of a better term. I am not ready or willing for any kind of the real thing in the near future...so I'm not looking for the sharpest tool in the shed...or someone to bring home to the parents...

 

Just being honest...

 

Just don't lose sight that the kind of women who you'll want to bring home to your parents still exist . And that the approaches that work for one of the groups won't necessarily work for the other.

[USMCHokie]

Full-on PUA?

 

I would caution against that but I have never gone full-on PUA so I don't know. I would say to pick your method if you are going to go full-on. Some methods are going to contradict each other.

 

Hahah, yes, full-on PUA.

 

At the suggestion of one of my coworkers a while back when this topic casually came up in conversation, I just bought Neil Strauss's The Game for my iPad thing...I've been told its a decent primer into the world...so it'll be my first look at what it's all about.

 

I'm not really familiar with all these so-called methods...and don't really know which would suit me best...

[Imajerk17]

PUA isn't going to change someone's ethics. It might subject someone to situations that they never experienced before, which will expose someone's ethics.

 

What is PUA anyway really? I don't see any problem with studying social dynamics--how things really are--and ethically using them to his advantage. Everyone does this, some just do it more intelligently than others. (Sometimes I believe that there really is no such thing as a PUA but that's a discussion for another time.) For the few of you telling Hokie not to do it, what would you suggest for him as an alternative?

[USMCHokie]

Well this could turn into an interesting social experiment for you and at the very least, you will be able to correct some preconceived notions and ingrained habits. Reading and adding some PUA to my approach to dating really helped me, hope you find the same.

 

And this is really how I look at it...if nothing more than a social experiment and a learning experience, then perhaps just something fun to try and do. Perhaps a personal achievement of some kind...hahah.

[ThaWholigan]

Hahah, yes, full-on PUA.

 

At the suggestion of one of my coworkers a while back when this topic casually came up in conversation, I just bought Neil Strauss's The Game for my iPad thing...I've been told its a decent primer into the world...so it'll be my first look at what it's all about.

 

I'm not really familiar with all these so-called methods...and don't really know which would suit me best...

The Game isn't really for me, it's a good story, but it's mostly based around Mystery Method stuff which was lifted from old school Ross Jeffries seduction (NLP stuff). Same with Double Your Dating by David DeAngelo (who recently got married - the wedding vows are on youtube ). It's a good read though.

 

I'd go for some of the recent ones that came afterwards i.e. Pandora's Box. Tao Of Badass is probably the best book.

[USMCHokie]

Just don't lose sight that the kind of women who you'll want to bring home to your parents still exist . And that the approaches that work for one of the groups won't necessarily work for the other.

 

I know they're out there, but the problem I'm trying to overcome is to convince myself that the women I want to bring home to my parents actually wants to come home to meet my parents. I struggle with the notion that the desirable women would actually want me...so if the ones who I don't want don't want me, then what shot do I have with the ones I do want...? I feel like I'm approaching this with the baby steps method...

[USMCHokie]

The Game isn't really for me, it's a good story, but it's mostly based around Mystery Method stuff which was lifted from old school Ross Jeffries seduction (NLP stuff). Same with Double Your Dating by David DeAngelo (who recently got married - the wedding vows are on youtube ). It's a good read though.

 

I'd go for some of the recent ones that came afterwards i.e. Pandora's Box. Tao Of Badass is probably the best book.

 

Thanks for the suggestions. I think I'll take a look at Tao next...are the methodologies so different that I'd get mixed up?

[Kamille]

I know they're out there, but the problem I'm trying to overcome is to convince myself that the women I want to bring home to my parents actually wants to come home to meet my parents. I struggle with the notion that the desirable women would actually want me...so if the ones who I don't want don't want me, then what shot do I have with the ones I do want...? I feel like I'm approaching this with the baby steps method...

 

Uh? I don't know much about PUA, but I'm pretty sure it's about approaching women you find attractive.

 

Now, there's a huge difference between finding someone attractive and deciding they're relationship material (of the kind you bring home to parents). Isn't there?

[USMCHokie]

Natural. Unpretentious.

 

 

 

I don't know if it's possible to describe. You'll experience it when you get there. If you do it right you're going to be so busy with outdoor activities, bbqs, hanging out with people and just having fun that you won't have time to sit around analysing your interactions with people.

 

PUA is a very American thing, and unless the backpacking scene has changed drastically over the past few years I seriously doubt you'll bump into all that many fellow Americans. Antipodeans, Europeans and Canadians yes...but Americans don't seem to be nearly as into that whole thing.

 

If you can find PUA types who have gone backpacking round Australia and had a great time doing it while thinking about and implementing PUA theory then by all means listen to them (with caution, given that there's always the potential for bull****)...but otherwise you might be better just going there without any set ideas about what it's going to be like.

 

I honestly can't imagine you going there and not having a brilliant time. The only people I ever encountered who didn't seem to be enjoying themselves (and I can only think of 3) were either a bit weirdly antisocial - as opposed to just shy - and/or had been travelling for too long and were jaded by the whole thing.

 

Well, my intent is not to focus my entire trip on PUA, but to be versed enough in it to exercise it while I'm socially out and about and might find occasion to use it. I just don't want to get caught in my old patterns and social habits just because I'm more comfortable with them. And Australia could be the perfect place where I know no one and no one knows me...practice without any consequences...and with beaches and sunshine.

[ThaWholigan]

Thanks for the suggestions. I think I'll take a look at Tao next...are the methodologies so different that I'd get mixed up?

Not entirely different, but it's more philosophy based rather than a method itself. If you want more of a method based book then books like The Dating Black Book, Seduction Method, 10 second sexual attraction, Escalation Ladder, Magic Bullets or The Smart Dating System would be better for you. I personally like Tao Of Badass better than those others (with the exception of Black Book) because it's looser, and perhaps more rooted in psychology.

[Imported]

) For the few of you telling Hokie not to do it, what would you suggest for him as an alternative?

 

Probably to just be you, do what feels right and natural. I always hear that when I tell a friend to wear better clothing. They always say it is not them and they don't feel comfortable in the style. But is that really natural or is it just learned. What you have always done probably feels natural and comfortable, but if you were to change that up, after a while what you do now will feel natural and comfortable.

 

My instructor at a technical course I took congratulated us upon graduation. He told us, "Some of you have learned what you needed to know through this course and some of you are just really good at faking it. Either way, it doesn't matter."

 

I didn't really agree with him for that course, but fully agree where it concerns getting women to have sex with you. Most women will probably claim..." that pua **** doesn't work on me!" Well, probably because that guy wasn't doing it well. But how about when you meet a guy and everything just seems to...."click"? And he has you trampolining on his cocck the same night. He is either a natural at getting girls or he learned to be natural at it. Either way, he's having sex.

[Hawakai]

Desperate is so not PUA.

 

Most PUA start as desperate. First step to get rid of that is to develop the abundance mentality, as I've posted above.

[Pyro]

But I think I'd be fine with trying to attract the lower IQ women...because I learned in my last relationship that recently ended that I will never be happy in any relationship until I get this out of my system and rid myself of the race issue...so I am fine with an indefinite string of meaningless and casual relationships, for lack of a better term. I am not ready or willing for any kind of the real thing in the near future...so I'm not looking for the sharpest tool in the shed...or someone to bring home to the parents...

 

Just being honest...

 

Well I for one am glad that you did end things with your LDR. This casual lifestyle has been something that you have been craving for a while so now you get a chance to live it. Maybe it will be a phase or maybe it will become a way of life.

 

Regardless of your decision just be honest and up front about your intentions. Don't give any of those women false hope. Now if they truly are naive and dumb then they may not understand but at least try.

[USMCHokie]

Uh? I don't know much about PUA, but I'm pretty sure it's about approaching women you find attractive.

 

Now, there's a huge difference between finding someone attractive and deciding they're relationship material (of the kind you bring home to parents). Isn't there?

 

Yes. Intelligence and personality...

[Anela]

Correct. I never "close the deal," so to speak, because I never set it up to begin with...because I am completely unaware that I "got them"...when I meet a girl, my first instinct is to throw myself into the friend zone because that's just the way I've always had to interact with women growing up. I was always the great friend, the harmless one, the one they were comfortable being around alone.

 

I can relate to this. Either I throw myself into the friend-zone, or they do it once they get to know me. Kamille flirted a bit, referring to your sexy shoulders, but I would never do that, because I would scare you off - it isn't normal for me to come out with something like that, anyhow. There have been times that I've realized that someone had liked me, only after my insecurities had ruined things. I just don't expect someone to want like me enough to want to date me, let alone anything more than that.

[USMCHokie]

Well I for one am glad that you did end things with your LDR. This casual lifestyle has been something that you have been craving for a while so now you get a chance to live it. Maybe it will be a phase or maybe it will become a way of life.

 

Regardless of your decision just be honest and up front about your intentions. Don't give any of those women false hope. Now if they truly are naive and dumb then they may not understand but at least try.

 

Yea, I definitely will be up front with women for the near future until I know I'm ready. She understood when I told her. It still sucked though...and I don't want to be caught in that situation with someone again...

[Pyro]

Yea, I definitely will be up front with women for the near future until I know I'm ready. She understood when I told her. It still sucked though...and I don't want to be caught in that situation with someone again...

 

You're a good man for talking to her about it. Just keep one thing in mind: when engaging in your 'PUA' material always ask yourself 'how would Hokie feel if a woman did this to me'?

[USMCHokie]

Not entirely different, but it's more philosophy based rather than a method itself. If you want more of a method based book then books like The Dating Black Book, Seduction Method, 10 second sexual attraction, Escalation Ladder, Magic Bullets or The Smart Dating System would be better for you. I personally like Tao Of Badass better than those others (with the exception of Black Book) because it's looser, and perhaps more rooted in psychology.

 

Well I think I'd be much less inclined to want a method based book...but rather one that changes my mindset in social situations when I'm out and talking with women...it's not the talking or conversation that I have trouble with, it's my frame of mind...think Lloyd Christmas and Big Gulps...

 

Women don't think sex around me...they think funny friend, or worse, funny brother...

[USMCHokie]

Just keep one thing in mind: when engaging in your 'PUA' material always ask yourself 'how would Hokie feel if a woman did this to me'?

 

"Some woman actually picked Hokie to do this to??!"

[Pyro]

"Some woman actually picked Hokie to do this to??!"

 

 

My point is to be considerate of others, while at the same time not letting it affect you if she turns you down.

[ThaWholigan]

Well I think I'd be much less inclined to want a method based book...but rather one that changes my mindset in social situations when I'm out and talking with women...it's not the talking or conversation that I have trouble with, it's my frame of mind...think Lloyd Christmas and Big Gulps...

 

Women don't think sex around me...they think funny friend, or worse, funny brother...

Well Tao Of Badass is probably the one for you if that's the case . There are probably others that are similar in reframing your mindset in those situations. Secrets Of The Alpha Man would probably be good for that.

 

There are some physical books aswell that are more fitness based but come under the same bracket - one I have used and another I'm due to use. Code Of The Natural and Adonis Index.

[USMCHokie]

I can relate to this. Either I throw myself into the friend-zone, or they do it once they get to know me. Kamille flirted a bit, referring to your sexy shoulders, but I would never do that, because I would scare you off - it isn't normal for me to come out with something like that, anyhow. There have been times that I've realized that someone had liked me, only after my insecurities had ruined things. I just don't expect someone to want like me enough to want to date me, let alone anything more than that.

 

Yep, I definitely understand...and I'm sure I let that mentality dictate many of my interactions...there will be plenty of times, looking back, that I'd set myself up to escalate a conversation to a romantic level, but I wouldn't take it...I'd just let it fizzle out of "respect" for the lady...and I think I've convinced myself that the "friends first" approach was the way to go...but I think I was wrong...all that gets you is a bunch of friends...

[Taramere]

Well, my intent is not to focus my entire trip on PUA, but to be versed enough in it to exercise it while I'm socially out and about and might find occasion to use it. I just don't want to get caught in my old patterns and social habits just because I'm more comfortable with them. And Australia could be the perfect place where I know no one and no one knows me...practice without any consequences...and with beaches and sunshine.

 

Fair enough. Doing something like that can give you pre-trip jitters, and anything that helps you to feel more comfortable in advance can only be a good thing. I tell you what, though....whether or not you read up about PUA in advance, I think a trip like that will give you 100 times more benefit than any book could.

 

Have an amazing time!

[USMCHokie]

Well Tao Of Badass is probably the one for you if that's the case . There are probably others that are similar in reframing your mindset in those situations. Secrets Of The Alpha Man would probably be good for that.

 

There are some physical books aswell that are more fitness based but come under the same bracket - one I have used and another I'm due to use. Code Of The Natural and Adonis Index.

 

Thanks for the recommendations, I'll definitely look into them. I hope you'll be able to check in from time to time, because I'll definitely be posting about what I've read and my thoughts on it and I'd like to hear some of your own thoughts on the topics as well...kind of like how people do book clubs...