Josie93 Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 I've went on a few dates with this guy I liked. On the first two, we just do it as a hang out and just hugged. On the third one, he kissed me and I wasn't really happy about it. He apologized and one the fourth one, we act like a couple and does all the things a couple did (no sex). Before the third date, when I didn't know he liked me, he used to text me every night and asked questions about me, joke around and such. After I knew that he liked me and after he sees that I wasn't rejecting him, he becomes more confident and initiates more. But he does not text as much as he used to. He is always the one who initiates the conversation and I felt that because I'm letting him in easily, he is not cherishing what he had. Now he is just texting me every other day. Should I have played hard to get and is it true that the easier it is to get a girl, the less you cherish her?
dasein Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 Advice on this would be specific to age and experience, if you are younger and this is your first or close to first BF, yes, go very slow, you are proceeding in the right way. Will assume that this is the case unless you post otherwise. And yes, people value more in life the things they have to earn as opposed to simply given.
Author Josie93 Posted November 19, 2012 Author Posted November 19, 2012 This is my first official (if lucky) BF. I am 20 and he is 22 year old. He have asked to be official before, but I told him to wait a little. Anyways, last date (Thursday) was great. But now what?
dasein Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 Are you in the U.S.? Standard dating culture as opposed to fundamental religion or culture? If in the U.S., and not very conservative culturally, at your age, would suggest you loosen up on kissing if you like him, start touching and encouraging him some physically. As far as him asking for exclusivity, after a few more dates, be ready to give him a definite yes or no answer, or be prepared for him to walk if he has any stones at all.
carhill Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 Should I have played hard to get and is it true that the easier it is to get a girl, the less you cherish her? I would recommend against 'playing hard to get' but rather positively responsive but not overly gushing at his interest. If a man is sincerely interested and attracted, 'easy' will generally be irrelevant. However, you might find yourself married and in a family way before you know it. It depends on the man's relationship style and intrinsic psychology. Getting to know him is part of the dating process. My advice? Press flesh more; text less. Good luck.
Author Josie93 Posted November 19, 2012 Author Posted November 19, 2012 I'm a very very careful person when it comes to dating. I just turned 20 this November 15th, so I'm still somewhat young. He is always available though and he does check up on me. Like I had an interview for an internship the other day and he checked with me right after my interview. I just want to make sure he is not a player because he is a bit touchy.
Author Josie93 Posted November 19, 2012 Author Posted November 19, 2012 The thing is I've only met him for a month and I'm still testing things out. I thought we will hang out like friends for a while, I guess he took things a bit fast. I've just met him, hung out 4 times and now being official? I don't even know much about him.
iiiii Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 Yeah you don't need to make anything official, but you're either going to need to kiss this dude or just tell him you're into him. Otherwise, he's going to assume you don't find him attractive.
Author Josie93 Posted November 19, 2012 Author Posted November 19, 2012 To be honest, he is just average but he's really nice to me and fits all the perfect boyfriend criteria (respectful, let me make the decision, make me feel special, always texts me first, willing to wait for me outside of my classroom, and more) but I only feel protected when I'm with him, not nervous or anything you feel when you really like a person. I wanted to take things slow and see how it goes, but he's making things look official such as introducing me to this friends.
iiiii Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 Are you attracted to him, sexually? If not, I wouldn't consider him good boyfriend material for you. For someone else who is attracted to him, maybe!
Author Josie93 Posted November 19, 2012 Author Posted November 19, 2012 Well, I can't say no. But physically, not so much. Although, I do think that it is the way he dresses that kind of turned me off.
peytondoll Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 Guys like the one you described OP need a girl with their mindset in order for it to work out without hurting/manipulating the other person. Personally, Id run away from this guy. He does not sound like good boyfriend material. I would not fall for the "I need to know we're compatible sexually" line. Guys say/rationalize whatever they can to get some p****. I wish this werent true but it is
Author Josie93 Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 I'm sure this guy is not taking me out for sex though. We have our mutual friends and they told me he does not force girls into doing what they don't want to.
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