someguy17 Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 This may turn into a lengthy post, I'm sorry. I'll start by saying i've known this girl for 8 months and shes my first girlfriend type deal. were both 17. So i met this girl on our schools trip to europe, i met her more specifically in Italy. At the time she had a boyfriend but was being mildly flirty. we kepy talking once we got back and started texting, she told me her boyfriend was ignoring her a lot recently and it hurt her because she didn't know why.. this period went on for like 2 months all while we would hangout a lot, go for walks on the beach, hug, and she would lay on me a lot in the car. she realized all this was wrong and tried to stop it.. unsuccessfully as it just kept happening. one day we were at the beach ion the car just laying there and we got talking.. she asked me if I ever wanted to kiss her and my heart started pounding. i told her thats her answer. long story short we kissed and she got upset. a little while after that her bf dumped her because he was bored of her i guess? and then the next night there i was in the car making out with her, neither of us expected it but it kinda just happened. she told me before she didnt think an other boyfriend would be a good idea and suggested we could be friends with benefits maybe. anyone it progressed to the point where i told her i loved her, and i really did.. it really shocked her but she said it back and weve been pretty happy until i asked her out one night and she couldnt say yes to me. time went by and we got closer and closer and closer. she is a very needy and clingy girl and we'd talk on the phone for hours, sometyimes skype and text long into the night. we had to stopp that as we knew it wasnt good as we stayed up way too late as were only young(17) she would always get mad at me or feel like i didn't care about her or get really upset because she diissapiointed me or something and a lot of friends thought she was a bit crazy because i showede them all the texts she sent me (only true friends i trust) her parentrs didnt want her in a relationship because she just got out of one and she is really smart in school and extremely athletic (going to the world ringette championships soon) she finds school really stressful. but she defied her parents ad even lied to them which is something she hasnt done for a guy before, we would always meet up when they didnt know and i'd go over to her house in the morning before school and we'd lay in her bed, because her parents were gone. im the first person whos ever seen her completely naked as shes the first whos seen me. we did sexual stuff quite a bit, she hasnt ever done anything before as her last bf was like totally against it, weve done everything but had sex. everything was fine up until tuesday. telling eachother we love eachother and really meaning it, we trust eachother with our lives and i know we haven't lied to eachother. she calls me her romeo and shes my juliet(nod to where we met) oh and she has anxiety problems and is a very emotional person. her parents told her they didnt like how she acted different when she was around me, they said like she was hiding something, and on top of that her bestfriend for all her life really didnt like me and completely stopped talking to her the last week and a half because she said she never has time for her anymore. that tuesday went reat, and ended with her parents telling her they wanted to talk, we told eachother we loved eachother and she went home. I didn't get a text from her at all that not which is completely unsual as she always always always texted me no matter what, i sent a few but no response. and then no goodmorning text earlier. i confronted her in school and asked her why she didnt text me and all she said was sorry and i kind of got annoyed and walked away. after this she told me she needed some space for herself and to not take it the wrong way, of course i took it that way and called her and got pretrty emotional (sad) we talked the next day and she told me she doesnt know what she felt anymore, and she needs alone time to figure herself out, and all the stress of school and ringette. i told hger i didnt want to lose her and she said i wouldnt, we could still be really good friends but a relationship is not what she wants right now. we proposed a nc that day but i slipped upo and asked her how she was afterschool which she replied. "shaky. im worried about you" i told her not to worry and all the rest and and asked if she would want a nc for a week and she said she didn't know. i got no reply until halfway thru the schoolday the next day, in a class we always texted eachother, it rea "This is hard." i told her this is what she wants and then aksed if she wnated to talk to me on study block, she said she didnt know and then said shes spending alone time to herself. i saw hewr in the hallway after that and we talked for a minute, we agreed to talk afterschool. i told her the quite if you love something let it go etc.. she said it really hurt, i said its the truth and she said i know. we have this thing where we dont lie to eachother and shes been saying i dont know what i feel anymore etc. but it got really serious and i told her not to lie after i told her i loved her, she replied "i can't lie... i lover you too" this is amongst tears and she said shes battling her mind vs her heart and she needs space to fiugure it out, she said her friends started talking to her again and she told her parents that she was lying to them for me. so i believe she is trying to ebuil;d the trust of her parents and the friendship. she brought up the quote i said about if you love something let it go, if it comes back its etc.. we agreed on a 7 day NC where she would have to decide on what she wants and hugged eachother, and kissed, quite a few times. she told me she loved me, this is amidst the both of us heavuily crying in eachothers arms. we went our seperate ways and this is only day 1 for us. thgis girl is really different emotionally, all of my friends have said that, but i know she still loves me but she doesnt want to because of the loss of trust of her parents and the stress of school and ringette. its been really hard for me so far, its only day one. my question is, on day 7, how do i play it out? i was thinking about writing her a letter and reading it to her in my car because thats where were going to meet, it will outline how important her friends and family are and how she can't lie to them anymore. and then to tell her that i love her and am willing to change not myself, but the relationship for the better of the two of us. im thinking of asking for her permission to personally ask her parents if i can take her out to a movie, and then to my house to meet my parents because shes only met them very briefly. I was very shy around her parents. im going to play a song for her that she played for me a little while back and sing a little bit of it because she loves when i do that but i dont do it very often. and then im going to give her a little locket that was supposed to be part of her xmas present that has a picture of me and her in europe, me giving her a piggy back ride lol. and then a rose, and tell her tht she is my beautiful juliet and that i love her. then say im willing to put in work to make this relationship work for the better of thie two of us, and then ask her if shes ready to do so herself. i dont know what im asking of you but can you comment on what i have wrote please. any insight into anything appreciate greatly.
Mer91 Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 Highschool is a tricky time. As a 21 year old who slacked his senior year away and didnt think about the future i can honestly say this. Before the week is up set a goal, do better in school, look at colleges, start an excercise routine. Something that has eyes to the future. Never let a fling, friend, ****buddy, or even a girlfriend get in the way of your future. And never get in the way of theirs. You do not want to be the "reason why my dreams never came true". You need to start thinking about your future. Im not saying push her to the side or be one sided in your relationship. But graduation really is the biggest moment in your life. Everyone you know will start going in different directions. You will lose touch with some people and some relationships will grow stronger. So dont do anything silly over one girl. I am sure she is a very special person, and you obviously have feelings for her. But remember that heartbreak is part of growing up just like that first kiss and first love. The best thing no matter what happens, is that you learn from all your experiences.
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