winter23 Posted August 6, 2004 Posted August 6, 2004 I broke up with my jerk/bad boy of 10 months, 2 and a half weeks ago. I used to think I was lucky to have him cause he was a bad boy and all that stuff........It was so hard........but I got tired of him treating me badly. So I ended things. The first few days, I cried. It hurt alot............I felt like I couldnt live without him. But then .........I started feeling happy. I didnt miss him being ungrateful or using me or making me feel bad. I started feeling good about myself. I went out and bought nice things for myself.......you know, face masks........new body wash that i wanted......even a few clothes. I was feeling good. I didnt feel like I had to do things for him so he would love me anymore.......I needed to do things for myself. I deserved nice things and a good guy. I realized that........I had supportive friends to help me through...........its only been 2.5 weeks I know but I feel So much better. My self esteem is up.........I am doing things that make me happy.......my ex wasnt making me happy. He used me for money, to help him study(we're in college), to comfort him, to be affectionate with him (although we didnt have sex), I was his support in so many ways, but he did nothing for me but hurt me........I did everything I could to make him love me. But he ended up choosing someone else to be with.........his current gf. I was hurt. But I was also happy........this was my ticket out of this bad friendship.........and I used it. I will not go back...........I have learned alot.........and I relaize that I dont have to make anyone love me, I am good how i am........and he was too stupid to see that.......I guess maybe he did see it sometimes but he thought I would alwys be here. He had me on a leash I guess......but I am so glad that I let myself free.........I sometimes have flashbacks of the few goodtimes we had but I now see that it wasnt worth the heartache......I am smart, pretty, and successful....and I had forgotten that I guess. What I am trying to say is that , if you are a gorl and you are dating a jerk, DUMP HIM. It will hurt at first............but you will feel 100x better than you do now. I promise.........But you deserve better than someone who treats you bad........I am trying to stay focused on my life...........I'm taking better xcare of myself, spending time with my friends, shopping, reading.eating foods I love........just doing things that make me happy. My ex wasnt making me happy.......I am just..feeling so so free.......I'm free. When I see him now I feel disgusted with him for how he treated me and I realize that he "aint all that"! And yeah, I have my moments....but I am truly happier now than when I was with him. If anyone who was in a similar situation please share you thoughts or any comments...all is welcome!
Author winter23 Posted August 6, 2004 Author Posted August 6, 2004 Sometimes I miss the good times but there wernt enough good times and usually he was being hapy because he wanted something..........I'm honestly happier now. Much happier!
honey2005 Posted August 6, 2004 Posted August 6, 2004 Good job:D It takes a lot of strength to do something like that, but it sounds like it was definitely better for you in the long run:).
aFighter Posted August 7, 2004 Posted August 7, 2004 Originally posted by winter23 Sometimes I miss the good times but there wernt enough good times and usually he was being hapy because he wanted something..........I'm honestly happier now. Much happier! Well that's good. I mean that yer happier, not the bad times. Carry on
honey2005 Posted August 7, 2004 Posted August 7, 2004 Hope my girlfriend doesn't read this thread. lol why? Do you treat her badly?
adore-la-vie Posted August 7, 2004 Posted August 7, 2004 To winter23: I was with a loser of a guy for 3 years and we lived together. He treated me badly, cheated on me, took advantage of me, etc. I was basically his meal ticket, the roof over his head, and the wheels under his feet. He never had a job, didn't have a car, used my cell phone as his own, and never had money to pay the bills or anything. I knew I needed to get out of the relationship and it took me a while to get things in order but I finally did. When I left, I felt so relieved. It hurt at first, not because I loved him but because I realized how much I was hurting myself. I had money suddenly to buy things for myself instead of supporting him. I started being the person that I wanted to be which was MYSELF! I went out, had fun, and enjoyed the life that I deserved! November this year will be 2 years since I left my ex's sorry butt. What is best about the entire thing, is that I met my soulmate and I couldn't be any happier. Women....you don't have to put up with men like this. The grass is greener on the other side. Life will go on if you leave him. All it takes is strength and the will to never look back. Life is way too short to waste your time on men like this.
johan Posted August 7, 2004 Posted August 7, 2004 lol why? Do you treat her badly? I was kidding. Sort of. Things have been rough lately. It's clear she thinks I'm a jerk right now.
Starnette83 Posted August 7, 2004 Posted August 7, 2004 I broke up with my bad bf..i mean he really wasnt a bad guy but he had alot of flaws: for example: he wouldn't wanna talk to me over the phone anymore, just would give me like 10min, when i told him how i felt about something, when i felt bad for example he would just blow it off and not take my feelings into consideration,....he would lie to me alot, give his number to girls and deny he had a gf, he was basically taking me for granted, always looking at girls when he was with me, even if i was prettier then the other girls, making me feel like i was very little...telling me he didnt know if he loved me anymore therefore he stopped saying it for 5 months, would never do anything sweet for me or try to go out of his way to make me feel special...so basically he had changed alot to me, and it just seemed he wanted to be out there...and also putting his pic online and writing "if you like what u see let me know, i might like u too" well we were together 3.5 years and i guess i hit that "IVE HAD ENOUGH" point when one night he promised me that he wouldnt talk to girl anymore in that way, as saying he was single, and then i go over his house and a phone number of some chick i had ripped, he had saved the other pieces with the number in a box to maybe call her..i then realized his lies would never end and it wasnt up to him anymore, it was up to me..so i broke up with him and made sure for himt o know it was the last time, cuz i had ENOUGH of his lies...and the hurt...so i made him promise to not contact me... I left in tears, and i wont lie it hurt alot..but it was also hurting to be in a realationship were the person doesnt seem to care about u... so anyways its been 3 weeks with no contact..and i feel more confident now then when i was with him, im getting a full time job soon, and im taking care of MYSELF!! ya i have alone times because those 3.5 years i lost all my friends, but its ok, there are many things i enjoy doing alone- like dancing, gym, tanning at the beach..etc.. and i have met some new people, and new guys, not exactly anyone id have a relationship but either way i dont want one right now..i think the song frm Christina FIGHTER is true...it does make u work a lil bit harder, makes ure skin a lil bit thicker.. i sure have more personality now..im also not as afraid or shy to talk to people anymore, and now more then ever i demand respect..i will never let any guy treat me with such low respect and next time around if a guy lies to me once, hes out, i wont hold on as much as i did with my ex..its not worth it
kgal Posted August 8, 2004 Posted August 8, 2004 Well I guess the guy I got involved with was the "bad boy" type...that's one thing that lured me...which was wrong..it was more like a "forbidden love" thing and that to me was romantic. **I know..what the heck was I thinkin?!** I'm not a "bad girl" and I don't cuss...don't drink...don't think perversely...etc. This guy did all those things....and he was more or less a wolf in sheeps clothing. The more and more I loved him....the harder it got to get love back. I am glad that we broke up.....even though at times I miss his friendship/support...cuz he was a friend of mine for a while growing up. We just didn't mesh...and the only thing we had in common basically was music...and there was the physical attraction part. He wasn't all that..and he couldn't take care of me...and he wasn't the kind of guy who stuck up for me or stood by my side through thick and thin. I think I should do what you're doin...pamper myself! I want to reconnect with that feeling of freedom...being on my own...and not being depressed over it! I did it before and I know I can do it again....theres alot of life out there...and I just have to get up off my seat and grasp all the goodness that this place has to offer! Your post helped, thankyou!
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