Kanecore Posted August 6, 2004 Posted August 6, 2004 I'm in a perplexing situation and would appreciate any advice. I was with my ex on and off for two years. She broke up with me last summer. No contact for two months and then started calling me again. She said she had falled out of love but was willing to give it a try again. I moved four hours away to be with her. In that time I cahnged a lot...for the good. However, when I got there, I became needy, clingy...I had no friends or interests in the area. This went on for four months. It was a lot of pressure on she and I. It came to a head when she said she needed space. I had realized that I was relying on her for my happiness and not myself. We've been apart for over three weeks now with almost no contact. So now I am much more confident....making friends...enjoying my job and making lots of money. I have the opportunity to be with her tonight because we planned to go to an event last month and she still want to go. I had sent her a card the week before stating that I wanted to move on and end this crazy game. She had accepted that and still but still wants to go with me tonight. I realize that I made a big mistake because what I really needed to do is give myself time to become independent and non-needy...and then I know we would be able to work it out. She is young though...not a lot of life experience. Her sister is a huge influence...the sister is single and has no friends and attempts to sabotage our chances because she doesn't want to loose her sister as a going out buddy. I want to convey to my ex that I still want to hang in there but I also need time and space to become more of the man she fell in love with. I don't want to get into deep conversation but convey this message so it is clear and mature. Does anyone have any ideas?
EC Posted August 6, 2004 Posted August 6, 2004 I agree that you need your space and time to become a man. No one should have to rely on someone else for their happiness. You should go to the 'thing' with her but after that NC for a while. There's too much going on in the relationship and I think she needs to get things out of her system and you need to be by yourself for a while and get accustomed to being with 'you' and then you guys can try again.
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