Squidoo Posted November 18, 2012 Posted November 18, 2012 It's been over 5 months since we split, and in that time I've realised how little respect he had for me and for that matter how little respect I had for myself. I have been dating a guy for the past 2 months, he's great but it's nothing serious. My ex is also seeing someone new and I would say its more serious between them. I know I'm not in love with my ex and never was, and I know not under any circumstances would I get back together after the things that I now know about him. So why the hell do I think about him daily? It's not just once a day it's probably 5 or 6 times a day, but why? Even when I'm busy the thought of him is still there and I just can't figure out why it won't go away. Am I obsessed? I never feel the need to contact him, even though he contacted me earlier this week to let me know he was ok ( how nice of him to think I'd want to know that! ). I never feel the need to check up on him on fb or do crazy things like drive past his house or turn up somewhere he might be...so why the hell is this still happening? I'm confused!
threebyfate Posted November 18, 2012 Posted November 18, 2012 You may want to write down both the time and what you were doing, when he comes to mind. Track this for a week and maybe you can figure out what triggers the thoughts.
movingon12 Posted November 18, 2012 Posted November 18, 2012 You didn't say how long you were together before you broke up - but when you were together you would have thought about him multiple times a day (even if it's just mundane like things where to go for dinner...) it's going to take a while to get out of that habit. It will gradually stop, so try not to beat yourself up about it - you're not doing anything wrong, you're just human.
Author Squidoo Posted November 18, 2012 Author Posted November 18, 2012 You didn't say how long you were together before you broke up - but when you were together you would have thought about him multiple times a day (even if it's just mundane like things where to go for dinner...) it's going to take a while to get out of that habit. It will gradually stop, so try not to beat yourself up about it - you're not doing anything wrong, you're just human. We were FWB for 3 years until he decided he wanted more and were then in a relationship for 8 months until I ended it with good reason. I saw him out with his girlfriend this week which did leave me a little shakey, but I wake up in the morning thinking about him through the day at work and at night time but there doesn't seem to be any real trigger for it. It's just frustrating and I want it too stop !
jamielee Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 i have been with my ex for 6yrs now that he felt me for another woman i cant stop calling and texting him even tho he insukts me everytime i call him and does not even bother to reply my text so i call him none stop he would hang up the phone put my nmber on reject i would still call i feel lyk am obsessed how do i stop all this nonsense
jamielee Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 It's part of the process. I bet closer to the break-up you thought about him constantly, wanted to contact him etc. Now you think about him a bit and don't want to contact him. Soon you'll only think of him in passing. Nothing to worry about. bu how do i make it go away i always find simple excuses to call him while i know his gone insults me how do i get over it
gracesf Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 bu how do i make it go away i always find simple excuses to call him while i know his gone insults me how do i get over it I don't know where you're at in the world, but in the US if you have ATT you can block a number from your phone, that means they can't call you or text you.... but it also means YOU can't call or text that number... This may be a good start, and then try not to beat yourself up, but try actively to retrain your thoughts... if you think of him, own the thought, say to yourself okay I thought of him, and that's ok but now I'm going to do X,Y,Z... whether its doing sit ups, or push ups, or laundry or dishes... find something to change your thought, and do this a hundred thousand times a day.... Also, if you have a close friend, a really good friend, or two or three, cue them into whats going on and tell them you need someone to hold you accountable... meaning every time you feel like reaching out to him, you text them... you call them... you reach out for positive re-enforcement instead of negative...
Author Squidoo Posted November 20, 2012 Author Posted November 20, 2012 Thanks backpacker I hope this is the final part of the process, fingers crossed that the end is near
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