rds908 Posted November 18, 2012 Posted November 18, 2012 I met this girl in class about a month and a half ago. We started out flirting and we hung out a few times to study and with others from class. I asked her out and we went out on one date. The date went well and she told me during the date that she remembers me from when she came into my work one time because she "remembers seeing me and thinking that i was really cute". She also asked me if i had a girlfriend because she wanted to make sure i was single because you never know with guys now a days. About an hour after i dropped her off she texted me "thanks again for an awesome night :D" and we made plans to go out again. Two days later her roommate told me that she told her that she had a great time with me and that she was impressed that i remembered her favorite restaurant and that i actually listen to her and that i was a gentleman. The following day i met up with her to work on a project and this is where i get confused. After we finished she said that she had just gotten out of a tough relationship (about a couple weeks before we met) and that she wanted to be friends first and then maybe later on we could date. she said that she told herself that she didnt want to date anyone for awhile before she came out to school and that i was the first guy she went on a date with. My first thought was that she is just being nice and this is the nicest way of rejecting me. So i responding with "so you just want to be friends." She then said "yeah for now." I dont know what to do. I really like her and i want to take a chance on it but i dont know if i should just get out now while i can. What should i do? On her last relationship... she told me once when we were studying that she broke up with him and that he was really controlling. She told me that he wont leave her alone even though she hadnt replied to his texts or called him back in over a month.
dasein Posted November 18, 2012 Posted November 18, 2012 Move on, find a woman who is available and interested. Don't waste any more time on this one. It seems you already know that "friends first" is a rejection, a completely crappy, disingenuous one, but hey, she's young so it's not a hanging offense. She knows where to find you if she changes her mind. Until then date other women. Don't worry about being thoughtful or a "gentleman," (their code for loser), keep your sexual desire in the forefront in a respectful way. Being nice and doing nice things for women isn't stock in trade for attraction and sex, building attraction and her desire for sex is. That's the natural way and what works.
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