bittermelon Posted November 18, 2012 Posted November 18, 2012 I told my S.O that it's near the end of the year and I still have 4 weeks of vacation left to use up. I asked him a few weeks ago how much vacation time he has left, as I want to get away somewhere with him. He tells me none, that he used all of his up and there's nothing he can do to take more time off. During this time period though, I also overheard him talking to his Aunt on the phone, his Aunt is like 80 years old and he was talking to her about flights to visit their home country. I gathered from their conversation that she wanted to go home and visit and he was going to accompany her and he asked her where she wanted to stay. I also think his heart was already set on this trip and he was already in the process of booking a flight when I brought up the vacation. So this week, he told me that he has to go away next Thursday for a business trip, training as he calls it, in a city about an hour away. I assumed he would be gone for the day. As the week went by he mentioned again that he will not be around next week. I asked him again when he is leaving. He says Monday... and that he will be home on Friday. He tells me the city he's going to, which was NOT the same city he said before! I called him on it and he told me that he didn't "read his papers" to double check the location. I highly doubt that's the case because the second city ended up being a location about 5 hours drive away, which would mean he'd have to stay there for the week. How could he not know that he'd have to be away for an entire week until the week before? Well, I told him I was confused, he was giving me mixed messages, etc. but he was quite dismissive about the whole thing. He even accuses me of not listening to him! But now, he's gone on his "trip" and hasn't even bothered to say goodbye. I put two and two together and I know that he left to go back to visit his home country with his Aunt. It's not a big deal that he's going there because he often visits, about twice a year on his own. I don't go with him because I've been before and would rather save my vacation for other spots. He knows this and is fine with it. My issue is that he lied to me about it. I know he did it because he really wants to visit his family back home and likes spending time with his elderly Aunt. I know his reason for lying is because he knows if he tells me that he wants to spend his last week of vacation traveling with his Aunt I'd be pissed. BUT, i don't want him lying to me about it! I'd like to think that I am a reasonable person and I would be okay with that if he came up to me and told me the truth. Oh yeah, I also know he purposely didn't call to say goodbye because he's probably scared I'll confront him on it again, so he figures he'll leave and deal with me when he returns. So now, I'm pissed, and I have a week to think about how I am going to confront him. I really really want to do it in a way that will make it think twice before lying to me again. I also want him to understand that he needs to communicate with me about things, not make up lies or hold back truths if he thinks it will make matters worse. I have 4 options: 1.) Play dumb and not fight over this 2.) Be really pissed and angry and confront him when he returns. 3.) Confront him in a passive way, saying i'm hurt by it and "talk" it out. However, he might think it'll be easy to get away with it again. 4.) Ignore him til he figures out why We don't live together and we often travel separately so it's not a big deal that he went without me. But I need to find an effective way to deal with this issue that will make him feel HORRIBLE for lying about it and ensure that he never does it again. Any advice?
GiddyUp8 Posted November 18, 2012 Posted November 18, 2012 Stoping pissing around and confront him about it, you sound confident enough and strong enough to do so. No need for advice on this. One he has an interest there or he's way more into family then most guys, you seem smart enough to figure that out though... 1
Recommended Posts