Serendipity1122 Posted November 18, 2012 Posted November 18, 2012 My best friend just broke up with her ex-bf and started to have a thing with Jack (a mutual friend), but had to move to a different city for a couple months for her job. Jack told me he thinks she's nice, and it was evident he was disappointed she was leaving. However, he's stopped trying to initiate conversation even though she will be back home for the holidays. She tells me when she texts/emails, he always responds, sometimes enthusiastically, sometimes a bit more detached, usually not too soon. She's attractive, smart, and has a nice personality. Plenty of guys after her now that she's single. Is he not into her anymore or is he just trying to play hard to get so she will like him more/seem more appealing? She does have a tendency to lose interest first, and she tells me she's overextending herself with this one. They can both be players, most of our mutual friends say she's out of his league, but it's pretty clear they have good chemistry together. Will a guy pretend not to care as much to save his ego and score a girl? How do you know if he sees her as short-term pleasure or long-term material and what should she do in this case?
NiceGuyDTW Posted November 18, 2012 Posted November 18, 2012 My best friend just broke up with her ex-bf and started to have a thing with Jack (a mutual friend), but had to move to a different city for a couple months for her job. Jack told me he thinks she's nice, and it was evident he was disappointed she was leaving. However, he's stopped trying to initiate conversation even though she will be back home for the holidays. She tells me when she texts/emails, he always responds, sometimes enthusiastically, sometimes a bit more detached, usually not too soon. She's attractive, smart, and has a nice personality. Plenty of guys after her now that she's single. Is he not into her anymore or is he just trying to play hard to get so she will like him more/seem more appealing? She does have a tendency to lose interest first, and she tells me she's overextending herself with this one. They can both be players, most of our mutual friends say she's out of his league, but it's pretty clear they have good chemistry together. Will a guy pretend not to care as much to save his ego and score a girl? How do you know if he sees her as short-term pleasure or long-term material and what should she do in this case? Women do the same. And no there is no sure way of knowing he thinks of her.
threebyfate Posted November 18, 2012 Posted November 18, 2012 Will a guy pretend not to care as much to save his ego and score a girl?Doesn't matter if he cares or not. If he's showing signs of disinterest, he's not worth any further investment since he's not putting in the effort. How do you know if he sees her as short-term pleasure or long-term material and what should she do in this case?She should back off, consider him a lost cause and start dating other guys.
carhill Posted November 18, 2012 Posted November 18, 2012 Will a guy pretend not to care as much to save his ego and score a girl? Some guys will, sure, because it has worked for them. Guys are pragmatists, generally. We're socialized to solve problems, compete and win. A prized mate is the spoils of victory. How do you know if he sees her as short-term pleasure or long-term material and what should she do in this case? Short of climbing inside his mind, look for consistent and person-specific interest. A man who is after short term sex/companionship will pursue those aspects with little concern about person. In my younger years I called this looking for a receptacle. 'Playing the field', as my mother used to call it when she was single, having gotten married relatively late in life for her generation, exposes one to many different styles and psychologies, allowing comparison and informed choice. Nothing is perfect but dating other men can help with clarity. 'They can both be players' Players will play. 1
MrCastle Posted November 18, 2012 Posted November 18, 2012 Want to know why? Because this: Hey, listen, I really like you. I think you're really pretty and just such a great person. I want to be with you so bad.[/Quote] Doesn't work.
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