rdb Posted November 17, 2012 Posted November 17, 2012 Needed background info on me: -20 years old -single -Community College student (which is basically just college classes without college atmosphere) -Overall satisfied with my life, just a bit torn on what to do in this situation. The situation: I've been texting this girl, who is also a student at my community college but I do not share any classes with, since like Monday. We were really clicking. Somehow though, the conversation drifted to politics. I'm non-affiliated with mostly left leaning beliefs while she is a libertarian. After I disclosed my positions on things she said that we differ on some but to each their own. I agreed and said I'm not one to impose my beliefs and am pretty open minded anyways. She didn't respond to that text, but it was late so I figured she went to sleep. Thursday, around afternoon time I shot her a text just asking what's up. She never replied. It's now Saturday and still haven't heard anything from her. The questions I have: is there anything more I can do at this point? Usually, I'm a firm believer in stopping contact attempts after 2 unanswered texts. In our brief correspondences, she wasn't shy about texting first or texting back fast, so I feel like the writing is probably on the wall. The only reason this is even a question is because I felt things were going well before that. All feedback/opinions are welcomed.
threebyfate Posted November 17, 2012 Posted November 17, 2012 Do nothing. You're the last one to text. Now it's her turn to respond or not. If she doesn't respond, move on. 1
Author rdb Posted November 17, 2012 Author Posted November 17, 2012 Does anyone have a contrary opinion/strategy that they'd use?
threebyfate Posted November 18, 2012 Posted November 18, 2012 If she's unwilling to return effort for effort, she's a waste of your time.
carhill Posted November 18, 2012 Posted November 18, 2012 I'm in agreement with the prior respondents about the protocol and would like some background information. 1. Did you wish to date this lady? 2. Have you had any personal (in person) contact with her? If not, how did you 'meet'? 3. Right now, in general, what kind of contact would you prefer with young ladies? Dating? Friends? Mutual interests? etc, etc. I ask because communication styles are a bit different with each. For example, if you and the lady had no personal involvement but chatted about topics on occasion, long periods of silence and some un-returned texts would/should be of little issue or consequence, as there is little personal investment, not much different from if your post here on LoveShack were ignored. Life would go on. Good luck.
Author rdb Posted November 18, 2012 Author Posted November 18, 2012 I'm in agreement with the prior respondents about the protocol and would like some background information. 1. Did you wish to date this lady? 2. Have you had any personal (in person) contact with her? If not, how did you 'meet'? 3. Right now, in general, what kind of contact would you prefer with young ladies? Dating? Friends? Mutual interests? etc, etc. I ask because communication styles are a bit different with each. For example, if you and the lady had no personal involvement but chatted about topics on occasion, long periods of silence and some un-returned texts would/should be of little issue or consequence, as there is little personal investment, not much different from if your post here on LoveShack were ignored. Life would go on. Good luck. 1. Yeah 2. No, I got her number through an acquaintance who knows both of us but goes to another school in a different city. I do not want to drag them into this. She added me on fb and I got her number. 3. I don't really have a set criteria. It all depends on the person. I'm looking for something consistent and not shallow really. I agree with you though, this is an issue of little consequence. The only reason I made this thread is because she's the first girl in a while that I felt some sort of connection forming with. I've wasted quite a bit of money on dinners and time on other dull conversations that never went anywhere for one reason or another. We exchanged a lot of texts with no issue up to that point and were planning on getting together at some point within the next week. It was an anti-climatic ending I guess.
Shaun-Dro Posted November 18, 2012 Posted November 18, 2012 Needed background info on me: -20 years old -single -Community College student (which is basically just college classes without college atmosphere) -Overall satisfied with my life, just a bit torn on what to do in this situation. The situation: I've been texting this girl, who is also a student at my community college but I do not share any classes with, since like Monday. We were really clicking. Somehow though, the conversation drifted to politics. I'm non-affiliated with mostly left leaning beliefs while she is a libertarian. After I disclosed my positions on things she said that we differ on some but to each their own. I agreed and said I'm not one to impose my beliefs and am pretty open minded anyways. She didn't respond to that text, but it was late so I figured she went to sleep. Thursday, around afternoon time I shot her a text just asking what's up. She never replied. It's now Saturday and still haven't heard anything from her. The questions I have: is there anything more I can do at this point? Usually, I'm a firm believer in stopping contact attempts after 2 unanswered texts. In our brief correspondences, she wasn't shy about texting first or texting back fast, so I feel like the writing is probably on the wall. The only reason this is even a question is because I felt things were going well before that. All feedback/opinions are welcomed. Why do you care so much about her? She hasn't done anything to warrant such admiration and persistence. If she lost interest in texting you because of variant beliefs, then so be it. You'll be better off in the long run.
carhill Posted November 18, 2012 Posted November 18, 2012 If your wish is to date someone you are attracted to, focus more on communication which facilitates actual in-person contact and 'getting to know' in the real world, versus detached communication about potentially contentious subjects in the 'virtual' world. Without real world synergies, the 'stuff' of virtual contacts has little foundation and is easily dismissed. So, go out on a few dates before unloading the big political stuff, if that's an itch you must scratch. That's my advice. Good luck.
Author rdb Posted November 18, 2012 Author Posted November 18, 2012 Why do you care so much about her? She hasn't done anything to warrant such admiration and persistence. If she lost interest in texting you because of variant beliefs, then so be it. You'll be better off in the long run. I can assure you I don't "care" too much about her or this. I just saw the potential for forming a connection, which is hard to find in the community college environment, and wanted to see if anyone here could offer an alternative view then the one I pretty much figured was the logical one. I agree though, if that was a "deal breaker", so be it.
Author rdb Posted November 18, 2012 Author Posted November 18, 2012 If your wish is to date someone you are attracted to, focus more on communication which facilitates actual in-person contact and 'getting to know' in the real world, versus detached communication about potentially contentious subjects in the 'virtual' world. Without real world synergies, the 'stuff' of virtual contacts has little foundation and is easily dismissed. So, go out on a few dates before unloading the big political stuff, if that's an itch you must scratch. That's my advice. Good luck. Thanks. Usually I am good at sealing the deal and getting the date. Originally that was what I tried to do the first day of talking to her. But she wanted to get to know me a little better first before giving me a firm "yes". I really didn't intend for the conversation to go to politics, but she brought it to them then asked me about it. It is what it is though.
Tiera D Posted November 18, 2012 Posted November 18, 2012 She did not see you as a long term relationship potential so she backoff, you should do the same,anything more would be losing backbone TD
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