awesomesauce Posted November 17, 2012 Posted November 17, 2012 Me and my ex girlfriend dated for 2 years, we did everything but sex. We did it roughly every two or so weeks, we wasn't in a long distance relationship, just so busy that we only seen each other during the weekends or a little bit during the week. Anyways she broke up with me saying she felt we grew apart, she wasn't in love with me anymore, and she said i feel like your my best friend. Granted this confused me cause i thought your boyfriend of two years should be your best friend, but thats not what im here to ask. Do you think that since we did not have sex, it made her lose her connection with me? She was the type that wanted to wait til marriage, and i respected that, heck i found it more attractive, but i feel like if i maybe brought it up more maybe she would have wanted to experiment more. Granted im 20 and she's 19, i know we are both still young, but the break up still is getting to me after about two or so months. I started to see signs that she was losing interest, she stopped talking to me as much, said we talked about the same stuff all the time, wanting to go and chill with her friends when she was suppose to hang with me, pretty much ditching me. She even stopped the good morning boyfriend/beautiful/smileys and all that sweet jazz, and even got mad at me one time cause i got mad cause she wouldnt tell me goodnight or i love you before we got off of the phone cause her friends was there and told me i got mad over the small silly stuff. Plus when we did go out, she felt fine at first, laughing having a good time, then she felt bored and when i tried to set the mood, she wasnt feeling it. She even told me, im sorry but im weird, i feel bad that i dont do this stuff with my boyfriend. I even told her to not worry about it, that we would figure it out, cause that stuff didnt really matter to me, heck i was also more into pleasing her than her pleasing me cause that was what pleased me. I dont know what to think, all i wanna say to her is that she's beautiful even after everything she put me through these last couple of months. She was also a little awkward about that kind of stuff though, this was our both first serious relationship, but without going into much detail like a month before our break up, we became the closest we have ever been. It was peaceful, we just laid in her room after having alone time practically naked, but when i took off my shorts just to get more comfortable, still having underwear on mind you, it freaked her out and she busted out the room and into the kitchen. I waited 15 minutes and went to talk to her, she told me that made her feel uncomfortable, and i was like ok i wont do that next time, but then i made a joke about it and was like, but u know i was still clothed, she laughed and then kissed me. Then a month later, we was done, granted in that months time we both got super busy and didnt see each other very often, i guess she changed her mind about everything and wanted to see what else is out there. Its just weird though how you can be so close and then so far in such a short period of time. Sorry for the long post, im not doing anything at the moment and i was just pondering lol. What do you guys think about the whole situation, what could i have done differently, what should i have done?
Author awesomesauce Posted November 19, 2012 Author Posted November 19, 2012 bump to see if anybody has any reply; maybe im just crazy lol.
The_Face Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 Yep, you definitely should have ****ed her more. Not because she would have stayed with you, but because you could at least say you got alot of sex before she broke up with you. She's young, man. It wouldn't have probably made any difference, in the long run, whether you had sex more often or not. She may have stayed with you longer and dragged things out, maybe, but I don't think she would have kept thing going with you. Besides, if she left you because you didn't have sex more often, than what type of woman is she? Sorry, what type of 19 year old girl is she? What do I know? I dated a 20 year old girl and I'm here on LS, too. Trying to understand her, ultimately giving up because I never will understand her. Hope you can continue moving forward with your life, without this girl. Don't put so much of the blame on yourself. Girls her age don't know what they want, but they seem to want us to believe they know what they're talking about. Go NC, without any hopes of getting back with her.
flitzanu Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 Me and my ex girlfriend dated for 2 years, we did everything but sex. We did it roughly every two or so weeks, we wasn't in a long distance relationship, just so busy that we only seen each other during the weekends or a little bit during the week. Anyways she broke up with me saying she felt we grew apart, she wasn't in love with me anymore, and she said i feel like your my best friend. Granted this confused me cause i thought your boyfriend of two years should be your best friend, but thats not what im here to ask. Do you think that since we did not have sex, it made her lose her connection with me? She was the type that wanted to wait til marriage, and i respected that, heck i found it more attractive, but i feel like if i maybe brought it up more maybe she would have wanted to experiment more. Granted im 20 and she's 19, i know we are both still young, but the break up still is getting to me after about two or so months. I started to see signs that she was losing interest, she stopped talking to me as much, said we talked about the same stuff all the time, wanting to go and chill with her friends when she was suppose to hang with me, pretty much ditching me. She even stopped the good morning boyfriend/beautiful/smileys and all that sweet jazz, and even got mad at me one time cause i got mad cause she wouldnt tell me goodnight or i love you before we got off of the phone cause her friends was there and told me i got mad over the small silly stuff. Plus when we did go out, she felt fine at first, laughing having a good time, then she felt bored and when i tried to set the mood, she wasnt feeling it. She even told me, im sorry but im weird, i feel bad that i dont do this stuff with my boyfriend. I even told her to not worry about it, that we would figure it out, cause that stuff didnt really matter to me, heck i was also more into pleasing her than her pleasing me cause that was what pleased me. I dont know what to think, all i wanna say to her is that she's beautiful even after everything she put me through these last couple of months. She was also a little awkward about that kind of stuff though, this was our both first serious relationship, but without going into much detail like a month before our break up, we became the closest we have ever been. It was peaceful, we just laid in her room after having alone time practically naked, but when i took off my shorts just to get more comfortable, still having underwear on mind you, it freaked her out and she busted out the room and into the kitchen. I waited 15 minutes and went to talk to her, she told me that made her feel uncomfortable, and i was like ok i wont do that next time, but then i made a joke about it and was like, but u know i was still clothed, she laughed and then kissed me. Then a month later, we was done, granted in that months time we both got super busy and didnt see each other very often, i guess she changed her mind about everything and wanted to see what else is out there. Its just weird though how you can be so close and then so far in such a short period of time. Sorry for the long post, im not doing anything at the moment and i was just pondering lol. What do you guys think about the whole situation, what could i have done differently, what should i have done? nothing you could have done dude. you're 19 and she's 20. you're supposed to go act young and fickle. better she LEFT you to go be fickle than to cheat on you.
Author awesomesauce Posted November 24, 2012 Author Posted November 24, 2012 She wouldn't haven't cheated on me, I guess that's another reason she wanted to break it off, but I just have the question in my mind what if I tried to have more ambition and tried to pursue her more even though she wasn't chasing me at all, maybe it could have been different. Possibly if I tried to fickle with her a politely harder, maybe it would have remade that spark.
Feelin Frisky Posted November 24, 2012 Posted November 24, 2012 It wasn't meant to be. You're young enough to just chalk it off to that. But you should learn from your experience. I myself have no use for games of waiting. Either you want each other or not. It's bound to get tense with boundaries that keep making you wonder about yourself. There are tons of things you can only figure out as you experience. Some may hurt even more. Some may blow your mind in a positive way.
I'm nuts Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 I really wouldn't worry about it, boys think and put more importance about having sex than girls do, I think. It's not like she is the last girl you will ever know and you never going to have sex again in your life, then you can start to get worried, but at 20, chill out. Some people just have low sex drives, we are all different.
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