frederickkk Posted November 17, 2012 Posted November 17, 2012 i really dont want to let her go.........i keep emailing....keep trying, i love her so much. when i held her outside that coffee shop, i didnt want her to go, i was in tears, i couldnt let go. i'm in tears now. pathetic man.
Under The Radar Posted November 17, 2012 Posted November 17, 2012 That doesn't mean the answer is easy . THE ANSWER: You are still dwelling in a relationship that is now over; you have not gone NC. When you go NC, and move on, then you will begin to heal. 1
CarrieT Posted November 17, 2012 Posted November 17, 2012 It is the obsessing and emailing and dwelling on it that keeps you from healing. Just like a scab that will continue to bleed each time you pick at it, every email is a re-opening of the wound. Healing takes time - you haven't begun the process because you are keeping the wound open by all those emails.
Author frederickkk Posted November 17, 2012 Author Posted November 17, 2012 It is the obsessing and emailing and dwelling on it that keeps you from healing. Just like a scab that will continue to bleed each time you pick at it, every email is a re-opening of the wound. Healing takes time - you haven't begun the process because you are keeping the wound open by all those emails. i do know this, but I feel like im carrying a torch for her, in the hope she will come back. she hasnt blocked my emails....may have filtered them, but highly doubt it.
Renard99 Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 i do know this, but I feel like im carrying a torch for her, in the hope she will come back. she hasnt blocked my emails....may have filtered them, but highly doubt it. You have your own answers. You ask why you can't heal but then obsess over contacting her. You read into things that aren't there. You think that because she hasn't blocked your email address she still loves you.... she probably just deletes them but you simply don't want to believe it. You say that you know that it's the obsessing and dwelling but you do nothing about it. You need to just STOP. Gain some self control. I thought about my ex all the time but I was still able to stop myself from hitting the 'send' button. I'll say it again.....just STOP!
betterdeal Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 Don't be sad it's over; be happy it happened.
Mer91 Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 Don't be sad it's over; be happy it happened. What he said. It was time that you enjoyed at the time. Now its over, dont get spiteful even if they do. Be the bigger person. Pick up a hobby, keep your self distant. Dont go searching for love. First you have to find out who you are again. I know it sucks trust me i do im in that position right now myself. As my dad told me. Your heart your head and your D.ick are all fighting for control right now. Your head is saying your relationship is over. Your heart is saying youd rather be in a flawed relationship than alone. Your dick misses the sex (this is especially true if your ending relationship was your first as mine was my HSSH for 3 and half years after highschool i completely understand this one). But seriously now is the time to find yourself try new things and stay busy. The nights alone are gonna sting. But soon you will be able to get back to sleep trust me.
betterdeal Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 What other things do you like doing? Going for walks? Swimming? Singing? Dancing? Chopping wood? Painting?
Sebastian76 Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Feel truly sorry for you Frederik, it is a horribly painful situation! There are a number of things you must do immediately to save your sanity, pride and any chance of reconciliation. 1. Realize that over means over. You are still in denial, but the truth is that it is over. All of your feelings are 100% irrelevant concerning the fact that it is over. 2. Stop contacting her. Accept that there is nothing you can do right now to change her mind. The longer you keep begging the more she will despise you and the more you will loose your self respect. Women don't fall in love with begging and crying men - never have, never will. 3. Start focusing on your new life alone immediately. Go to the gym, see your friends. Talk to anyone who can be bothered to listen. Feel sad when you are sad, but try to get off the couch as much as possible. Hit the gym, get a new hair cut and some modern clothes. Only when you've found yourself and can function without her do you have a real shot of getting her back. You need to find your inner person and strength in order to get to a point where you good with being just by your self. That should be your goal right now. Best of luck, Seb
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