arkansasgal Posted November 17, 2012 Posted November 17, 2012 Ok, im confused with my bf at the moment and im not even sure what I should do. We meet and knew without a doubt we had both found the one. We have been dating for 3 months which I know is not long but we get along and have so much in common. I meet his family and we was talking all the time and seeing each other mainly on the weekends. About a 2 weeks ago I asked him if he wanted to go and meet my parents and he said yes!! He told me that without a doubt he wanted to meet them bc he knows that I will be in his life forever. Well he had just started a big job and his boss asked him to work that saturday that we was supposed to leave on. I was upset but I told him that it was ok and we could go another weekend. He was super mad at his boss about it and he told me that he had let me down and felt awful. That next week I could tell he was acting distant and wasn't sure how to talk to me since he felt so bad about the weekend before. We met up and talked about everything and he told me that I had nothing to worry about bc he wanted me as his future and loved me! Well we decided the next weekend we would go to my parents so he could meet them. Everything was great until the night before he called me and told me that he had forgot that it was opening deer season and he had made plans with his family to go to the cabin. I hunt and we both love the outdoors but I will admit I was upset bc this was my big moment that just ended once again. I told him that i was really upset and I was hurt and confused about it. I told him that he needed to plan things out better and remember things since this was a big moment that I had to tell my parents once again that he couldn't come. Well that friday I told him that all i know is that I love you!!! He responded back and told me that he loved me and he was really sorry for hurting me again. Well that weekend went by and the next week and I haven't heard from him. It is like he just shut me out and I have no idea what is wrong. I asked him if he was ok and alive bc I was getting worried. He finally told me he was ok but he was really short with me. I waited a day or two and finally texted him and asked if we could sit down and talk about things. He still hasn't responded at all so Im sitting here hurting bc he is the one that I want to be with. I am 26 and he is 28 so we know that without a doubt we do love each other but I am thinking about why in the world or how could you just flip the switch on the girl that you love and want to be with???? I am keeping my head up and hoping he comes around but I hate to say this but I have dated guys who always to this to me then they come back in a couple months and say they are sorry for just ignoring me bc they got scared and realized what a great woman I am and was stupid for doing that to me. Why is this guy or why do guys do this? I am going to be myself and not text him anymore. He knows I love him and I have tried to talk and work this out but I am not getting anything back from him which kills me so bad deep inside. What do you think I should do to get him back in my life. I truly love this man.
clia Posted November 17, 2012 Posted November 17, 2012 I notice you saying things like "we knew we had found the one" and "we know without a doubt that we do love each other." Are you sure the "we" in those sentences is accurate, and that it isn't just "you"? You are at the start of a very new relationship. You barely know this guy. But from your description, you come across like a steamroller with trying to get him to your parents' house. You got mad at him for having to work (get over it; life happens) then for "forgetting" he made other plans with his family. Out of curiosity, did he invite you to the cabin with his family? No? Huh. As a result of this behavior (and possibly other behavior) he has pulled away. Give him his space--all the way to China. Stop contacting him. You can't do anything to get him back in your life. He is either going to come back on his own or not at all. You ask how he could flip the switch on the girl he loves. It's entirely possible that what he was feeling wasn't love, but the initial infatuation. That usually wears off...about two or three months in. Then reality hits. A lot of "poofing" happens at the two or three month point. It sounds like he poofed. It also sounds like this is a pattern with you. You might consider slowing down and being less needy in the future. It might get you a different result. 1
taya Posted November 17, 2012 Posted November 17, 2012 I notice you saying things like "we knew we had found the one" and "we know without a doubt that we do love each other." Are you sure the "we" in those sentences is accurate, and that it isn't just "you"? You are at the start of a very new relationship. You barely know this guy. But from your description, you come across like a steamroller with trying to get him to your parents' house. You got mad at him for having to work (get over it; life happens) then for "forgetting" he made other plans with his family. Out of curiosity, did he invite you to the cabin with his family? No? Huh. As a result of this behavior (and possibly other behavior) he has pulled away. Give him his space--all the way to China. Stop contacting him. You can't do anything to get him back in your life. He is either going to come back on his own or not at all. You ask how he could flip the switch on the girl he loves. It's entirely possible that what he was feeling wasn't love, but the initial infatuation. That usually wears off...about two or three months in. Then reality hits. A lot of "poofing" happens at the two or three month point. It sounds like he poofed. It also sounds like this is a pattern with you. You might consider slowing down and being less needy in the future. It might get you a different result. i love love your answer to this so right on ...we is a wrong word to use because know one really knows how someone really feels do they
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