Charlotted29 Posted November 17, 2012 Posted November 17, 2012 So it's been 9 months since the 'break up' if you can call it that. A close friendship of 9 years and 2 years in a casual relationship, with me stupidly hoping he would commit. He didn't, and never intended to. He started seeing this girl towards the end of us and didn't tell me, they are still together. I have been no contact pretty much in that entire time (apart from to ask if his sister is well and the new baby) and as much as I just want nothing to do with him and his lazy ways, I can't help but miss him day in, day out. I can only describe my mood as 'glum', how can I still feel like this 9 months on, for someone I should be over who hurt me so much!! How can I miss someone who I want nothing to do with? and just want to forget...? It doesn't make any sense, and he has clearly moved on. I still feel this aching longing, and a void in my life...'just get over it and move on!' I keep telling myself. He pops into my thoughts often, and my mood tells me i'm still sad about it, or am I just sad because that's how I'm used to feeling now? It's frustrating, does anyone else feel like this too? Do I need more time to just grieve the end of a long friendship/relationship?
YorickBrown Posted November 17, 2012 Posted November 17, 2012 So it's been 9 months since the 'break up' if you can call it that. A close friendship of 9 years and 2 years in a casual relationship, with me stupidly hoping he would commit. He didn't, and never intended to. He started seeing this girl towards the end of us and didn't tell me, they are still together. I have been no contact pretty much in that entire time (apart from to ask if his sister is well and the new baby) and as much as I just want nothing to do with him and his lazy ways, I can't help but miss him day in, day out. I can only describe my mood as 'glum', how can I still feel like this 9 months on, for someone I should be over who hurt me so much!! How can I miss someone who I want nothing to do with? and just want to forget...? It doesn't make any sense, and he has clearly moved on. I still feel this aching longing, and a void in my life...'just get over it and move on!' I keep telling myself. He pops into my thoughts often, and my mood tells me i'm still sad about it, or am I just sad because that's how I'm used to feeling now? It's frustrating, does anyone else feel like this too? Do I need more time to just grieve the end of a long friendship/relationship? First off...and I'll just blurt this out: "Just get laid again..already" and get it out your system....IF you were a dude (which you are not)... <sigh> Ok, you just obviously miss your "close friend of 9 years" and I'm assuming you probably "also miss" your "casual relationship of 2 years" (I spose this one came with "benefits"? probably even more) which accounts for your "glumness" after all this time... So here's my advice: after 9 months now, just "pretend you're a guy" and get it over with...get your groove back on...and for godsakes don't go looking for a "friend for 9 years" this time around. Live a little, if you cant be good...just be safe. PS: and please don't forget that you're NOT really a guy ok? believe me sistah, you don't want to deal with the next 9 months (when you're preggy).
YorickBrown Posted November 17, 2012 Posted November 17, 2012 So it's been 9 months since the 'break up' if you can call it that. A close friendship of 9 years and 2 years in a casual relationship, with me stupidly hoping he would commit. He didn't, and never intended to. He started seeing this girl towards the end of us and didn't tell me, they are still together. I have been no contact pretty much in that entire time (apart from to ask if his sister is well and the new baby) and as much as I just want nothing to do with him and his lazy ways, I can't help but miss him day in, day out. I can only describe my mood as 'glum', how can I still feel like this 9 months on, for someone I should be over who hurt me so much!! How can I miss someone who I want nothing to do with? and just want to forget...? It doesn't make any sense, and he has clearly moved on. I still feel this aching longing, and a void in my life...'just get over it and move on!' I keep telling myself. He pops into my thoughts often, and my mood tells me i'm still sad about it, or am I just sad because that's how I'm used to feeling now? It's frustrating, does anyone else feel like this too? Do I need more time to just grieve the end of a long friendship/relationship? First off...and I'll just blurt this out: "Just get laid again..already" and get it out your system....IF you were a dude (which you are not)... <sigh> Ok, you just obviously miss your "close friend of 9 years" and I'm assuming you probably "also miss" your "casual relationship of 2 years" (I spose this one came with "benefits"? probably even more) which accounts for your "glumness" after all this time... So here's my advice: after 9 months now, just "pretend you're a guy" and get it over with...get your groove back on...and for godsakes don't go looking for a "friend for 9 years" this time around. Live a little, don't be good...just be safe. PS: and please don't forget that you're NOT really a guy ok? believe me sistah, you don't want to deal with the next 9 months (when you're accidentally preggy).
Author Charlotted29 Posted November 17, 2012 Author Posted November 17, 2012 Yorick - Your post really made me laugh lol, thank you. You're probably totally right.......I do need to go out and stop feeling sorry for myself! Just meet a guy and have some fun. I need to get my buzz back. Do you really think that not being with a guy, or even kissed a guy for a year can make you this glum? I just thought well.. there must be loads of other people on the planet that haven't been near the opposite sex for this long and are still probably happy? I defiantly wont be looking for that friend again. I've learnt my lesson now, and especially to stay away from lazy rude boys! I always used to approach the guys and my friend said don't... it hasn't ever worked out for you and they have the upper hand. Let them come to you... so I guess that's what I have been doing! Just waiting for someone to approach me really.
YorickBrown Posted November 17, 2012 Posted November 17, 2012 Yorick - Your post really made me laugh lol, thank you. You're probably totally right.......I do need to go out and stop feeling sorry for myself! Just meet a guy and have some fun. I need to get my buzz back. Do you really think that not being with a guy, or even kissed a guy for a year can make you this glum? I just thought well.. there must be loads of other people on the planet that haven't been near the opposite sex for this long and are still probably happy? I defiantly wont be looking for that friend again. I've learnt my lesson now, and especially to stay away from lazy rude boys! I always used to approach the guys and my friend said don't... it hasn't ever worked out for you and they have the upper hand. Let them come to you... so I guess that's what I have been doing! Just waiting for someone to approach me really. You're welcome! and sorry for the double-post, I have this habit of correcting my posts while its still submitting... Nways, it sounded "weird" to me actually when I was writing it and I thought you'd take offense, so I'm glad it made you lol...well, at least, we now know you have your sense of humor back and still intact...And believe me, you'll need it attracting & approaching uhmmm... non-lazy/rude boys like us ...ok, ok... i can be rudely lazy at times:o in my "approach" (I always thought you girls have the upper-hand)
Author Charlotted29 Posted November 17, 2012 Author Posted November 17, 2012 When I say rude boys... I mean rudeboi's lol. Seriously couldn't be further away from what I usually go for, but I felt he was different. He wasn't.. he was a raver,dj and lazy. On top of that I figured out he was more than likely dealing drugs. How else would he be able to buy the things he did working in a pub 3 evenings a week? He had issues and I just saw what I wanted to see... they are very good charmers and liars! Well in my experience it was always the guy who had the upper hand! They always seemed to do as they pleased and they decided when the relationship ended not me. Yeah I still got my sense of humour going but day to day it's still tough and eats away at me a bit. They say time heals all wounds and with more time that should hopefully be the case. I should feel sorry for his new girlfriend really. I was played for a long time and deserve better then some guy with a tattoo on his neck going no where.
YorickBrown Posted November 18, 2012 Posted November 18, 2012 When I say rude boys... I mean rudeboi's lol. Seriously couldn't be further away from what I usually go for, but I felt he was different. He wasn't.. he was a raver,dj and lazy. On top of that I figured out he was more than likely dealing drugs. How else would he be able to buy the things he did working in a pub 3 evenings a week? He had issues and I just saw what I wanted to see... they are very good charmers and liars! Well in my experience it was always the guy who had the upper hand! They always seemed to do as they pleased and they decided when the relationship ended not me. Yeah I still got my sense of humour going but day to day it's still tough and eats away at me a bit. They say time heals all wounds and with more time that should hopefully be the case. I should feel sorry for his new girlfriend really. I was played for a long time and deserve better then some guy with a tattoo on his neck going no where. I'm just gonna "pretend" I don't have any idea what you're talking about and you probably have more experiences than I do so you have the upper-hand...my hands end up somewhere else eventually , not necessarily in the upper regions... You're obviously from the UK or somewhere from Europe....with that rudeboi and pub bit...am I right?
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