Pyramus Posted November 17, 2012 Posted November 17, 2012 I feel a little uncomfortable putting this in the Breaks and Breaking Up forum. It's not exactly a break up I'm going through, but it is the term that best describes my situation. So basically, my significant other has fallen out of love with me. This post is not about learning how to to get him back, or convince him of his feeling again, it is more about - how do I go on? It all started when he did something horrible that abused and broke my trust. I don't want to go into detail, I can only say that he did not cheat on me or anything, but did something that deeply hurt me, made me feel betrayed and made me feel estranged from him. He knew he treated me horribly, apologized, and said he was willing to work on everything so I would forgive him. I explained that it was hard to me to trust him, but I would give all this a chance, and work on it with him. The next day, his mother died, and he was going through a horrible time. I felt so sorry for him and was deeply worried about him, and let him know that I would be there for him, that he could rely on me, and didn't have to worry about the problems between us. He was thankful, and emotionally leaned on me the whole next weeks. When the worst was over, we decided to continue our conversation about our problem. Out of the blue, he let it slip that things had changed for him... he told me that the "troubles" between us made him unsure about whether he's still in love with me. He said he still had romantic feelings for me, but it felt like the "friendship" feelings were overtaking. He suspected this was because he felt overwhelmed by the problems between us, he just lost trust in the two of us working out. The next few days, we were behaving as always - I cast all my hurt and bad feelings away and just put an effort into being nice to him, to show him that it's not just trouble between us. Now he told me he still felt the same - still having feelings, but he was going more for friendship and wasn't too interested in anything else. I can't even say that I'm still deeply in love with him - I don't even know whether I still have feelings for him. As I said, my trust has been broken, and it doesn't feel nearly as comfortable with him as it felt before. I still haven't forgiven him the thing he has done and am deeply hurt - we didn't even talk it over, really, as he was always a bit reluctant ( he is that way, emotionally unavailable most of the time). He hasn't helped me to cope or to forgive him either. He didn't even say sorry properly. He isn't a person that easily talks about his feelings or opens up, but that is something which I think she should have done... Also, I feel a bit hurt by the fact that he gets driven away as soon as problems appear. instead of being there for me (about something that is his fault), he loses his feelings. I know I can't blame him for that, it just hurts me. And it shows me that he's not the relationship material I'm looking for, probably. A bit further background information: We are not exactly in a relationship as such. We were more "on our way" towards a relationship. We're long-distance. We have been in love with each other for almost one and a half years, shared our feelings with each other, spent most of our times together, decided to stay faithful to each other, etc. It was mostly the distance that kept us from having a relationship like you would imagine it - which bothered us, but we were happy to have each other anyway. Don't get me wrong, we had almost everything that belongs to a relationship, it was just - due to the distance - mostly platonic. I'm not sure what to do now. I feel like going NC will only make me feel bitter towards him, and unable to forgive. I see no sense in going on as usual either. Also, my strength is just gone - I can't swallow down my resentment towards him about how he treated me any more, and it's not right to do so either, at least that's how I feel. Any advice?
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