Harradin Posted November 17, 2012 Posted November 17, 2012 I know I've done a lot of posts and threads etc but now I'm confused. I had never fallen in love until this girl came along, it lasted 2 and a half months (not long but it was an intense love (so I thought.)) Sorry for being irritating and sounding like a troll but guarantee I'm not a troll, I just am confused. A week before she broke up with me, she found out her parents were getting divorced so I promised to support her through it. My ex chose to see my friend while I was away (funnily enough.) My ex then breaks up with me through email telling me she decided to go out with him and that "nothing happened" when she went to see him. It tore my heart to pieces. I was going to university a week later so I needed the stuff that I had at hers so told her to drop it round before I went to uni. I found out that my so called friend had been texting her all through that week telling her he liked her and had got one of his friends to send my ex messages confusing her about me/ex (couple of days before she found out about her parents getting divorced.) I left a nice voicemail message to my so called friend and not spoken to him since. I saw her a few days after when she delivered my stuff and she held me tightly in a hug and wouldn't let go, I ended up kissing her head and she backed away. I then decided to go NC, she started texting me while I was at uni and in the texts she acted like we were a couple despite having this new man around. A month later I had enough and decided to try getting her back, I made a video, burnt it to a CD and sent it to her. She then asked me to meet up with her, where she again acted like we were a couple (holding my hands, cuddling and sitting on my lap.) But she turned round and told me she was confused and didn't know what to do, so I told her that she needed to choose. She asked whether we could be friends and I said no, she got angry and then we ended up arguing about it and she left. Not spoken to her since and its been 3 weeks, as far as I know she's still with my so called friend. My so called friend has a history of manipulating/backstabbing so I keep wanting to protect her even though she chose to break up with me so it isn't my place. All my friends keep telling me she isn't worth my time and I can do far better so forget about her. Believe me I'm trying to move on, trying to keep myself busy etc but I can't get her out of my head. I want her back, I still love her and I keep holding onto the hope that she was confused because of her parents getting divorced and my so called friend manipulating her while she was upset. I would be okay with it if I knew I had done something wrong, but after 2 months (2 months after she broke up with me today) I still can't figure out what I did wrong as I never cheated, gave her love, affection etc. I guess she thought the grass was greener with him somehow, despite me being far better then this idiot (even our mutual friends have told me they don't understand why she would leave me for him.) So yeah, I can't get her out of my head, I still love her and I don't understand why when if anything I should have forgotten about her when she dumped me.
Treasa Posted November 17, 2012 Posted November 17, 2012 Oh hon, she wants what she can't have. She's at the age where she's suffering from GIGS, or maybe she is the type that looks for the wrong kind of man because they're more "exciting" (trust me, it's a stupid thing many women do, me included, and eventually we snap out of it) rather than the guys who are decent, like you. I know it really hurts, believe me I do, but you should move on. Don't try and protect her. That would be your job if you were her boyfriend, but she chose not to be with you, so she can protect herself. I'd say go out, stay busy, have fun, and have absolutely no contact with her unless she comes crawling back on her knees. And even then I'd be somewhat wary. You'll find someone who appreciates a truly nice guy, believe me. And this person will be someone far better than your ex.
Author Harradin Posted November 17, 2012 Author Posted November 17, 2012 (edited) Oh hon, she wants what she can't have. She's at the age where she's suffering from GIGS, or maybe she is the type that looks for the wrong kind of man because they're more "exciting" (trust me, it's a stupid thing many women do, me included, and eventually we snap out of it) rather than the guys who are decent, like you. I know it really hurts, believe me I do, but you should move on. Don't try and protect her. That would be your job if you were her boyfriend, but she chose not to be with you, so she can protect herself. I'd say go out, stay busy, have fun, and have absolutely no contact with her unless she comes crawling back on her knees. And even then I'd be somewhat wary. You'll find someone who appreciates a truly nice guy, believe me. And this person will be someone far better than your ex. My ex is 17 (I'm 20 but 19 when I was with her) so GIGS seems a bit too early unless you can have GIGS at any point! Definitely on the track ie moving on, I am trying and I will get there! She tried to do her usual (she tries to have banter with people she considers as friends) towards me on a mutual friend's status on Facebook today but I completely ignored it. She isn't blocked on my Facebook (but she's not on my friends list) as she rarely appears in my feeds anyway and I've had recent success in my life that I posted about on Facebook so I kinda wanted her to see that I'm doing fine and achieving without her. I suppose I just feel bad because I know what's going to happen and because I still care I want to be there and if I didn't do anything I'd feel bad about it despite it not being my place! I'm gonna try and go out have fun etc, I just hope I find that girl soon! Thanks for the advice Edited November 17, 2012 by Harradin
Author Harradin Posted November 22, 2012 Author Posted November 22, 2012 That time is needed again please. Believe me I've been trying, I'm not the sort of guy who falls in love easily, I had never fallen in love until my ex appeared in my life. If I got a crush or developed feelings for someone I was able to drop it within a few days at max a week! But I can't get my ex out of my head. I don't understand why I fell so hard for her, it only lasted for two and a half months and its been 2 months and nearly a week since she broke up with her. but judging by her actions (mutual friends telling me without me asking about her) it seems to be like she's had GIGS as the breakup was out of the blue for me, she's doing things she told me she didn't want to do or like etc. I keep wanting her to come back, but at the same time I don't think I could trust her again unless she proved that she was prepared to give us another go to show I could trust her. I keep holding hope because her parents got divorced and my so called friend happened to be there, she turned because she was upset, but then surely if you're upset you turn to the people you love not some friend who happened to be there? She's the first thing I think about when I wake up, last thing when I sleep and I have dreams, I hate it. She's not on a pedestal either, I hate what she did to me, it makes me angry. Her immaturity annoyed me aswell. I just don't understand why I was never able to fall in love with anyone, I never got attached, suddenly she comes into my life, I fall in love with her and then she leaves me for so called friend and now I'm the one picking up the pieces. It infuriates me. :@ I hate the fact that I treated her as well as I possibly could, I wasn't whipped or anything and I tried to be a gentleman and yet I'm the one who has to suffer for it :@. I would have been okay with it if I made a mistake and ruined the relationship but when I did nothing wrong I'm finding hard to move on because there's no experience I can learn from. I'm keeping NC and all of that, she has to get into contact with me and she knows I have no intention of being friends, all of this kicks up because she commented at me on a couple of mutual friend's status's on Facebook (she's not on my friends list but she usually never appears in my news feed so blocking her isn't a worry for me as I don't go stalking her profile or anything.)
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