Author Devistated1 Posted November 23, 2012 Author Posted November 23, 2012 One more thing I should add about the two children after the vasectomy, the first one which was two years after the vas. was tested and he is mine. The doc said that it was very rare and a fluke and not to worry about anymore. That's why I kept hope that the 2nd one was too.
BetrayedH Posted November 23, 2012 Posted November 23, 2012 Regardless of anything, I think the father needs to know he has a child. Keep your own integrity about this situation. What you do with your wife is another conversation.
jnj express Posted November 25, 2012 Posted November 25, 2012 You have spent all this time talking about, the child---you have raised for 10 yrs---SHE IS YOURS in every way but blood---so drop that line Where you need to be, is dealing with a wife who has been cheating on you for 10 yrs---cheating by lies of OMISSION---by looking at you every nite knowing she kept a deep dark secret from you---by sleeping with another man, be it once or the tip of an iceberg---what's the difference---what do you intend to do about the wife who has treated you as a POS for all of these years----she has now relegated you to looking at your daughter, and triggering, and looking at her your alleged wife, and triggering---that is not the way you wanna spend the rest of your life. Does she just get to resume her cushy lifestyle, or do you intend to do anything about what she has done to you---for basically she has ripped you apart Have you ascertained why she found she needed another man, and spread her legs for him----------Does she show any remorse for 10 years of lies and deception----and who knows what she has done in the last 10 yrs---if she cheated on you with one guy and hid it---WHY NOT OTHERS---you never knew, cuz you trusted her----what kind of a monster are you living with anyway???????
2long Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 Regardless of anything, I think the father needs to know he has a child. Keep your own integrity about this situation. What you do with your wife is another conversation. I can't agree. If he doesn't already know the child is his, biologically, he may decide he wants 2 be involved in her life once he knows. That will be bad enough for the OP 2 deal with while she's growing up, but think of the impact it will have on his daughter 2 learn this, and at a time when her parents are splitting up BECAUSE of "it." She will blame herself, her very existence, for the breakup of her family. I do agree with the concerns over medical his2ry, though. But you should probably not tell your daughter about her "organic father" until she's an adult, and maybe not even until or if (heaven forbid) she needs 2 deal with a medical condition that can't be addressed effectively without knowing about the sperm donor. -ol' 2long
TiredFamilyGuy Posted November 26, 2012 Posted November 26, 2012 "She used to work with OM. She says it only happened once because she felt so bad afterwards, but they worked together for 5 years after that, so I'm not sure I believe the "only once" bs." I will go with the other commenters on this one: she has trickle truthed the absolute minimum after you found her out. It is very unlikely to have been one time. " W says that he never questioned if the kid was his" So she says. Why even consider believing her when everything else has been a lie Likely that he knows but does not want to pay backdated child support. Or that he is married (this has not been mentioned) and does not want to face the exposure. Also, as you rightly say, your daughter has some right to know of her genetic inheritance. The OM has a right to know about his child (assuming he does not know already). You have a right to seek some recompense however indirect for raising the child of another man. Your wife deserves some of the **** that will fly her way from the exposure. If the OM is married, his wife deserves to know her spouse is a cheater. I think, a marriage cannot exist without respect and your wife does not and has not respected you. I say divorce her now. At a minimum expose it, then make up your mind whether or not to divorce her: That way you get a measure of justice and probably find out more information to make your mind up with. I am sorry for the huge anguish this must all cause in your heart.
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