turdmike Posted November 17, 2012 Posted November 17, 2012 My girlfriend and I dated for like 2 years before she decided to dump me 9 months ago, we were in a long distance relationship. I made a huge mistake by begging her to come back after I heard she was with another. After our breakup, she immediately went into another relationship which lasted for 8 months. Throughout this time we held very little contact, we'd mail each other twice a month. 3 months ago we talked again for the first time on msn, the conversations were pretty pleasant, until her boyfriend got jealous and made up lies about me insulting him. I never even spoke with the guy... But well she was pissed at me for no reason, so I decided to go into nc for a month. When I came back she told me that she had been thinking of me, asked me to stay to work on our friendship and that she never really stopped loving me completely, turned out she got dumped by her bf. I was pretty stupid and fell for her trick, telling her I'm ready to give things another try if she wants to. She told me she wasn't ready to yet, because she was still in love with this guy. A month later I found out she had become pretty close with another guy, so out of panic I begged her to come back again, turns out he's an old friend of her's which I don't really believe. Anyway she got pissed off and told me she hated me, that she has no feelings for me anymore, that she wouldnt mind not talking to me for months, that of all the bf's she's had I'm the worst and that I had to fck off. So I did, 2 weeks later we started talking again. Throughout these 2 months that we've been in contact again via skype, she'd always reply very slow and with short answers and would always change subject or do something else whenever the conversation started to flow. She's always known me as a quitter, someone who doesn't take initiative and someone who'd rather take the easy route, but I took the time to change those flaws. I'm not giving up on her until I feel like there's no hope left. Any advice on how I can get her to spend a little more time with me instead of doing other stuff? And what would you guys think is the best thing to do now after being broken up for 9 months and having begged her twice?(except for giving up on her because I don't want to yet)
Tiera D Posted November 17, 2012 Posted November 17, 2012 Start NC and get more selve-respect you need get your backbone back,do you know there is a high probability she cheated on you more then once? and being a doormat you continue to let yourselve be used?..Be and stay NC until oneday you can look in the mirror and say i do not need her at all,the only way to have a remote possibility in reconciliation is to let her go..however personally i wouldnt take a cheater back,once a cheater always a cheater,read what you wrote again,due to this girl what have you become TD
taya Posted November 17, 2012 Posted November 17, 2012 yeah stop begging that gives her too much power just cut her off and start nc and you will see she come running back ..and just stop thinking about her and start thinking about your life your not the one that broke up with her she did so let her be and go nc ..i always say this we can never force someone to be with us by the end of the day they are going to do what they want to ...she broke up with you so let her come back to you stop begging her and texting calling or even bother her show her your good with out her ..
Author turdmike Posted November 17, 2012 Author Posted November 17, 2012 (edited) Thanks guys, she wasn't always like this and well neither was I... Perhaps I made it sound like she did cheat on me but she never did tho. I'm gonna listen to you guys and just disappear until I feel like I don't need her anymore. I also wonder, do you guys think it's ever too late to get someone back? Because I personally think it's not possible to stop loving someone just because you want to, might be just me living in my own imaginary world. Edited November 17, 2012 by turdmike just added something
Jono85 Posted November 17, 2012 Posted November 17, 2012 dude u have ZERO self-respect for yourself. this girl didn't love you the entire time with her ex are u kidding me? lmao. she said that to u b/c she just got dumped and wanted a fall-back. and then a NEXT dude came in and now you're a fall-back to the fall-back. she even told u how pathetic u are, and u still don't cut her out of ur life. damn. i think until u start respecting yourself, which imo won't happen anytime soon, you're a lost cause.
Tiera D Posted November 18, 2012 Posted November 18, 2012 its never too late to get back an ex,i begged and pleaded by 3rd ex for over half a year,lost my backbone and all,then i got my latest ex and somehow i manage to control myself (probably due to my rebound),after my breakup i contact her as friends and i never lose my backbone again,i know sometimes she tried to string me but i would not let her,guess what?in the end she respected me more and no longer tried to string me,not yet to say she is more open to me lately. Mate listen to me,like i mentioned you need to really NC this time and trust me you can NEVER be sure one does not cheat on you,unless you spend 24/7 with her worst your LDR,let me tell you this unless she is willing to move to your place there is not a slighest hope in reconciliation,respect yourselve and the world will respect you too TD
taya Posted November 18, 2012 Posted November 18, 2012 (edited) Thanks guys, she wasn't always like this and well neither was I... Perhaps I made it sound like she did cheat on me but she never did tho. I'm gonna listen to you guys and just disappear until I feel like I don't need her anymore. I also wonder, do you guys think it's ever too late to get someone back? Because I personally think it's not possible to stop loving someone just because you want to, might be just me living in my own imaginary world. its never too late to get somone back but you have to play it simart to get them back make them think you can do well without them no beggin or bothering them just setting them free no running after them you have to be very simart about it hun do your own thing make her wonder what you up to why you not calling or texting her anymore having her thinking whats up.............. see i have learn my the hard way like you i acted like a fool in two past relationship beg and just dident know how to let go and make the person come back on their own i was running them down and you see the more i run after them the more they fun faster ..and just not only my experiance i have seem alot of other people relationship that was doom because of this very same problem .....also let me add when you keep beging someone or bothering them when they are the one that left you it makes them lose respect for you even more they thinking look how he or she is begging...no self respect Edited November 18, 2012 by taya
Author turdmike Posted December 10, 2012 Author Posted December 10, 2012 Kinda a late update, but thanks guys, I've been in NC for about 3 weeks now, and I've actually been feeling better. Starting to gain back some self respect and feel like Im getting my backbone back. At times it still hurts especially knowing she rather spends time with other guys than with me. But from this point life can only get better right! You've all been a major help, even the mean comments motivated me so thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
Sari Posted December 11, 2012 Posted December 11, 2012 Good, well done! Clinging on and begging only drives people further away and makes you feel weak and sad. Keep up the good work, one day this pain will be but an unpleasant memory.
Author turdmike Posted December 12, 2012 Author Posted December 12, 2012 I agree, tho I just found out she's been hanging out a lot with another guy, just changed everythIng and I feel like I'm back to zero again. Right now I'm trying to sustain my no contact, but it's so hard.
Sari Posted December 12, 2012 Posted December 12, 2012 Just remember, you will feel worse for having contacted her. Whatever her reply is to you, it won't be the one you want to hear, otherwise she would just come out and say she wants you back. Therefore you'll just upset yourself all over again. Take some control and power back, YOU decide not to contact her, and YOU stick to it. It's hard, but the feeling of self-satisfaction and self-control you get makes it all worthwhile. Remember, you are strong, you are a good person and you don't need to beg anyone for love. If someone is too selfish or immature to accept and appreciate the love you have for them, find someone who will appreciate it. And until then, love yourself, and treat yourself kindly. This does not include upsetting yourself by picking at an open wound!
Author turdmike Posted December 15, 2012 Author Posted December 15, 2012 You're right, I'm already starting to become less interested in what she's been up to and managed to stay in no contact. The times I contact her it only leads to pain in the end. I feel like I've fInally given up on her. Not close to being over her, but at least I've accepted the breakup. If things go right, I'll be the person helping other's instead of being helped now, thanks again.
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