FearfulFuture Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 Hi LS'ers. Been a while and one massive emotional rollercoaster but my issue/question is exactly what the title says, how do you deal with the hurt after hearing your ex is having one night stands? I don't ask about her and i would certainly feel better not knowing but it seems every time i go out to socialize and try and keep occupied i hear some story of her and someone else, it hurts so much. Im sure i would be much more healed by now after 8 months but she has returned on 2 separate occasions stating she loves me and misses me but still no 2nd chance and the feelings are still very raw considering she was begging me back just 4 weeks ago. Anyone else had to deal with this? Any help would be appreciated, thanks.
Jono85 Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 Hi LS'ers. Been a while and one massive emotional rollercoaster but my issue/question is exactly what the title says, how do you deal with the hurt after hearing your ex is having one night stands? I don't ask about her and i would certainly feel better not knowing but it seems every time i go out to socialize and try and keep occupied i hear some story of her and someone else, it hurts so much. Im sure i would be much more healed by now after 8 months but she has returned on 2 separate occasions stating she loves me and misses me but still no 2nd chance and the feelings are still very raw considering she was begging me back just 4 weeks ago. Anyone else had to deal with this? Any help would be appreciated, thanks. she was begging you, yet no 2nd chance? what does that mean..
Drseussgrrl Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 You go complete no contact and ask your friends not to mention her to you again. It really is the only way.
River Rain Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 Tough love answer: You have no control over her actions, stop dwelling on it, just accept that you have to accept it, and move on. Live your life and forget about her, go nc if that makes it easier. Life is too short to waste, if you want love, find love, but leave the past where it belongs.
KatZee Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 She was begging for you back and then what? Did you say no? Something seems to be missing here, unless she was completely jerking your chain around. It sucks, but you need to cut off whatever associations you have with her. Or tell your friends you don't want to hear about her, what she's doing, who she's with. I mean that should be common sense anyway.
jwhite Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 she was begging you, yet no 2nd chance? what does that mean.. I 2nd this ^^
Author FearfulFuture Posted November 16, 2012 Author Posted November 16, 2012 Yeah, she was at my door in tears stating she wanted me and never stopped loving me etc. I obviously took some time to think about things as its hard to trust someone who has walked away from 4.5 years but because i still love her i wanted to try again. I guess it was a 2nd chance but it didn't work because she had an issue with the fact i had dated someone else, even though i had to accept the same thing. I guess she just missed me and as soon as she knew i was still there she turned away again. I am trying to follow all the advice on here and i have been no contact (until she turned up at my door) and my friends have been very understanding. It is a small town where i live so this news always manages to filter down to me in some twisted way but i refuse to go into hiding. What else can i do? Thank you for the replies so far but i could really do with some comforting words or effective strategies to help deal with this bombshell.
suladas Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 Time is about the only thing that helps. It hurts so bad, I know what it's like to think they are with someone else (although I found out later it wasn't true in my case) and it's not easy to deal with especially when you see the guy. The only thing you can do is just keep going on with your life, eventually it won't bother you especially when you know she doesn't want to get back together. All you can do is move forward and find someone else. 1
River Rain Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 Time is about the only thing that helps. It hurts so bad, I know what it's like to think they are with someone else (although I found out later it wasn't true in my case) and it's not easy to deal with especially when you see the guy. The only thing you can do is just keep going on with your life, eventually it won't bother you especially when you know she doesn't want to get back together. All you can do is move forward and find someone else. I'm so proud of you 1
suladas Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 I'm so proud of you Thanks I have definitively noticed a huge difference in how I approach it compared to a few weeks or even months ago. I don't know how and when it happened, but I just seemed to of let pretty much everything go, I wish I knew how. Actually I felt so much better when I found out she wasn't with that guy, i'm not proud that I creeped her FB to find that out but still. The funny thing is, the reason i'm doing so much better with it is because of how crappy of time i'm having in regards to workers compensation and not being able to work, it is the thing that's always on my mind now unfortunately. And the relationship stuff just doesn't seem important at all compared to it. My anger has some out towards the people at workers compensation, so maybe it's all gone! 1
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