Sarah89 Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 My ex boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago. I still see him at college all the time as he hangs around with my friends and is in some of my classes. We've had a talk about things between us and what's going on in our lives, he told me he's met a new girl and they like each other very much. I know... You'll be thinking "he's moved on quick", but it doesn't phase me one bit. Over these past 2 months I've had a lot of time to think about things, turns out he cheated on me with this girl. Disgusting, if you ask me. But the part I wanted to discuss the most was this... I've met a guy. We've been speaking a via text and we've met up a couple of times. I'm not being naive at all, but he is so lovely and kind to me. He does like me in that way, and I am slowly liking him more and more each time I see him. But what should I do? Apparently he wants to "get together" with me, but it's only been 2 months since my last relationship? I want to take things slow, but how slow is slow enough? I'm worried what people would think of me. Everyone is telling me to "go for it" as it would be "sweet" and we'd make a good couple, which I do agree with. What do you think?
TigerCub Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 ok, #1) Don't worry about what people are thinking - do what feels right to you. #2) Take things slow - be honest and tell him that you got out of a relationship recently and would like to take things slow. #3) if you follow suggestion #2 - then DO NOT sleep with him quickly, because that sure as hell would confuse him or in the very least give him the impression that you say one thing and do another. Have fun, meet new people, and date - its all good if you're feeling good about it
Author Sarah89 Posted November 16, 2012 Author Posted November 16, 2012 ok, #1) Don't worry about what people are thinking - do what feels right to you. #2) Take things slow - be honest and tell him that you got out of a relationship recently and would like to take things slow. #3) if you follow suggestion #2 - then DO NOT sleep with him quickly, because that sure as hell would confuse him or in the very least give him the impression that you say one thing and do another. Have fun, meet new people, and date - its all good if you're feeling good about it Thank you so much! That's helped me. I do feel good about things, which is great
veggirl Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 What does "get together" mean? Go on dates? if so that is fine! I think you should. If he means be your boyfriend, then no it is too soon. Just date him for a couple months and see how it goes, if it goes well you can agree to being his girlfriend.
River Rain Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 Everyone has their own rate of healing/getting over a breakup. In my case, I didn't sit around waiting after the breakup(s). I did take time to grieve, but I refuse to go by some socially accepted time frame of "too soon to date" business. If it feels right, you've stopped pining over the ex, and you want to take your time and not rush into things with the new potential love interest, then go for it. And I repeat what's been said about not giving a crap about what others think. It's your life, not theirs. 2
TigerCub Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 Thank you so much! That's helped me. I do feel good about things, which is great You're very welcome I'm glad you feel good about things. Just follow your instincts Have fun
Author Sarah89 Posted November 17, 2012 Author Posted November 17, 2012 What does "get together" mean? Go on dates? if so that is fine! I think you should. If he means be your boyfriend, then no it is too soon. Just date him for a couple months and see how it goes, if it goes well you can agree to being his girlfriend. Yeah, I believe he means boyfriend/girlfriend. And yeah, I totally agree it's too soon, dates sound like the best thing to do. Thank you.
Author Sarah89 Posted November 17, 2012 Author Posted November 17, 2012 Everyone has their own rate of healing/getting over a breakup. In my case, I didn't sit around waiting after the breakup(s). I did take time to grieve, but I refuse to go by some socially accepted time frame of "too soon to date" business. If it feels right, you've stopped pining over the ex, and you want to take your time and not rush into things with the new potential love interest, then go for it. And I repeat what's been said about not giving a crap about what others think. It's your life, not theirs. Yeah, I guess I just care what others think, I shouldn't in this circumstance to honest. I took my time to get over the relationship and now I feel much better. I won't rush into anything, I'll take my time. And thank you! What you've said has helped me loads!
Author Sarah89 Posted November 18, 2012 Author Posted November 18, 2012 Do not worry about other people's opinions. At the end of the day, it's only you and your life, so you live it exactly how you please. Slow is as slow as you're comfortable with. Be honest and communicative the entire way, and everything will work out as it should. This guy, also, has never had a proper girlfriend before, is that something to be concerned about? I'll take things as slow as they need. Thank you .
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