What do I do??

[snapper583]

Hey everyone. I'm new here. Don't normally ask for help for anything but I don't know what else to do. So here goes...

 

Let me start with the back story. I met the girl who I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with when I was 15. We'll call her Donna. She moved out of state and we kind of drifted apart. I never forgot about her and often wondered where she was and what she was doing. 7 years went by. No one in that time had made me feel the way she did. Then when I was 22 she suddenly contacted me. We reconnected and started talking again. She told me how she had never forgotten me either and how she had missed me and how no one made her feel the way I did. I was ecstatic. She was in college now and had a boyfriend who she was unhappy with. We spent that summer visiting each other. 5 hours apart from each other but it didn't matter. We were in love.

 

When the fall came, she admitted to feeling guilty because of her boyfriend. She eventually told me that she couldn't break up with him and that we had to stop seeing each other. I was devastated. So we stopped seeing each other.

 

I met someone else. We'll call her Jessica. She didn't make me feel amazing like Donna did. But I still liked her a lot. Donna and I kept in contact via text/phone. About a year after Jessica and I had been together and were living together, Donna got engaged to her college boyfriend. Shortly after that, she broke off her engagement and left him. She said it was because she couldn't forget about me and that she was still in love with me. I think it was because her fiance was a drunken ******* and she finally had enough. Anyway, after that she was really pushing me to leave Jessica. Begging me. But I had a life with Jessica. We lived together. Relied on each other financially. And though I wasn't as happy with her as I was with Donna, it seemed impossible for me to leave her. We stopped all contact.

 

6 years went by. I thought about Donna more and more as time went by. Hoping it would pass and I'd forget about her. I missed and loved her. I had been with Jessica almost 7 years now. I know it wasn't fair to her. I started having panic attacks. She was pressuring me for a ring. The thought of marrying her made me nauseous. I just kept thinking of Donna.

 

I finally broke it off with Jessica 6 months ago. It was a relief for both of us and we remain good friends. Donna contacted me via facebook shortly before I broke it off with Jessica. It was like I was 22 again. We hadn't had contact in years. We were still in love with each other. Again though, she was into a 1 year relationship with a guy she wasn't happy with. Another drunken *******. The break up with Jessica and the reconnection with Donna both happened in April this year. Donna and I had resumed our talks like we hadn't missed a day in the 7 years that went by. She kept telling me how she was leaving him. She couldn't wait to start our life together.

 

Well a couple months went by and I was feeling like this was history repeating itself. She wanted to see me. I told her not until she left her boyfriend. I was so in love with her. This is where I know I messed up and I could use some advice. Thanks for reading this far btw lol.

 

I met someone new in June this year. 2 and a half months after my break up with Jessica. We'll call her Ann. She's a single mom with 2 kids. We hit it off. Things moved really fast. I liked her. But my mind was still on Donna. I never really put much effort in with Ann. I could tell she was really into me though. She asked me to be her boyfriend about a month after we were dating. I said I wasn't ready to jump into a relationship. Mistake #1. I was still in love with Donna and hoping she'd leave her boyfriend. I know. I'm an *******. I had no business dating. I just hated being alone.

 

The summer drove on. I was sleeping at Ann's house 3 and 4 times a week. I was involved with her kids. I was somewhat part of her family. I still never really put in much effort. We started fighting over stupid things. I was still waiting for Donna to leave her boyfriend. It never happened. Toward the end of the summer I started to realize that I was falling for Ann. She was amazing and I had been blind to it all summer. There came a point in late August where I wasn't invited over to her place as often. She was getting cold and distant. Totally understandable. I thought it was because I hadn't officially commited to her. So like an idiot, I had a 'talk' with her. I told her I wanted to take our relationship to an official level but that we needed to straighten some things out. Mistake #2.

 

I didn't like how we fought over stupid things all the time. I didn't like how distant and cold she was toward me. Never once did it cross my mind that it was because of how I treated her that she was acting like this. She said she didn't know and that with her new job she didn't really have time for a relationship. I was kind of hurt and a little angry. Still completely oblivious that this was all my own fault.

 

Over the next few weeks we didn't really see each other. We still talked almost everyday. But it wasn't the same. I missed how she was when we first started dating. I thought she was just done with me. I went on a couple dates with someone else. Mistake #3. A few days after the last date, Ann started talking to me like she did in the beginning again. I missed her. I was happy. We went out again for the first time in weeks. After our date, I took her to my place and we were intimate. Things seemed to be back on track. I was forgetting about Donna. For the first time in 14 years, someone made me feel as amazing, if not more so than Donna did.

 

One day Ann asked me "When we stopped hanging out for those couple of weeks, did you date anyone?" I said "Yes. 2 dates with one woman. It didn't mean anything." Mistake #4. She flipped out. Said she felt like she didn't mean much to me if I could date that soon after not hanging out with her. Soon after that, she still tried dating me but we were fighting and being cold to each other more than ever. Then she broke it off. Said she just couldn't do it with me dating the other woman.

 

2 weeks later she reconnected with an old friend of hers. They are now in an official relationship. It's killing me. She's all I think about. She won't speak to me. I know she still has feelings for me. But the last time she talked to me she said she was really happy with him and that she couldn't risk that. 3 days ago I sent her a huge arrangement of flowers at her work with a handwritten letter telling her how I was sorry and how I realized how poorly I treated her. I talked in detail about what I missed about her. About our first dates. When we weren't fighting, we were amazing together. Still haven't heard back. She's got pictures up on her face book of her with her new guy and him with her kids. It feels like part of my family died.

 

I know this is all my fault and I didn't treat her right. I'm a very romantic guy and I know how to sweep a girl off her feet. I just never tried with Ann because I was hung up on Donna. But being with Ann made me realize I don't need Donna anymore. Ann never got to see the real me.

 

I guess what I'm asking is, is there anyway to come back from this? Should I try to fight for her? She's been with this new guy for about 3 weeks now. I think she jumped into this new relationship way too fast. Beginning of October I'm sleeping at her house. Cooking meals together. We're having sex. Great sex. Hell I was reading her 2 year old bed time stories at night. And 3 weeks later she's in a committed relationship with someone else? Is she just trying to forget me? What should I do??

[snapper583]

Wow didn't realize how long that post was lol. Sorry guys. Please read through anyway. Doesn't take as long is it looks to read. Really need some advice.

[snapper583]

Wow nothin huh people?