Lonely Ronin Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 too much book smarts auctually hurts guys. one of the many dirty little secrets girls won't admit outside chats with their girlfriends. I've never meet a normal (the key word) woman, who didn't find intelligence attractive, as long as it was accompanied by normal amounts of other traits.
Lonely Ronin Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 i've seen it turn girls off. but what turns them off the most is an imbalance, outstanding book intelligence mixed with below average social intelligence. if the imbalance is the other way, the guys often do outstanding with girls. its just the way it is. too many guys take advice from them mothers and lets be honest, what happens to them? Some girls yes, I know a few women that are insecure and wouldn't date a guy they think is vastly more intelligent than them. However, most women find it a desirable trait in my experience. The #1 thing I see getting smart guys into trouble is vanity, they spend to much time telling everyone how smart they are.
mesmerized Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 Do you really think i just hit on models? I am an average looking guy(decent at best), my acne in the face is taking me down. As i have heard that acne is a big minus. Most of the gals i hit on are "Decent" looking. Start hitting on women who are "decent at best" like yourself and see how that works. 1
Lonely Ronin Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 i've seen the vanity before, but i see poor social intelligence much much more. girls want to have fun and a guy who tries to discuss particle physics isn't a fun guy. if a guy doesn't have some guy friends and doesn't take his head out of his textbooks he isn't getting anywhere with any girls whether they are models or obese. I'd agree with that. It's like I said earlier, when you aren't deficient in any one area, you will do pretty well in general. Anything you are above average in is a bonus for you.
AlexDP Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 1) Being alpha 2) Negging 3) Lots of cold approaches 4) LJBF'ing women 5) Always follow the 3 second rule
youaretheone Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 OP, if you are hoping to get success with woman with that list, I think you are in the wrong way. If you feel comfortable in your own skin, it will come out and other people will also feel like that no matter how you look. If you feel that you won't get success because you are not ripped or your face is not handsome, then it will shadow on the way you act next to women as well and they will pick it up quite easily. Even I do pick it up easily as a man when I am talking to a guy like that.
runningfar Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 This is only my view, not in the right order. Hate if you want to or tell me if i am wrong. Since i am in collage most young people don´t have big amount of money so it doesn't count here. 1. Face: (if you fail on this one, your pretty much out of luck. Face is your key to success with women.) 2. Height: Not being under 5´10, (I know few who don´t want boyfriends over 6´0, and their boyfriends are indeed in the 5´8-5´10 range). 3. Body: Having really ripped or muscular body. (everyone can get this with hard work and you don´t even need to be that big.) 4. Confident: being idiotically confident and treat women like children. (most guys are not like this). 5. Popular: being wanted by other women, the more the better. Being kind/funny/gentleman don´t make it on the list. Anyone disagree?. Yes. Funny is hugely important. Intelligence is big but meaningless without humor or good attitude. I know plenty of obese guys who do very well. Height under 5'9 is probably a disadvantage. Face matters, especially eyes.
IT Geek Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 Actually you can be just rich and no quality will matter cause women love money over anything else. Not so. I have a six figure income, two houses, and a seven figure portfolio and I still don't get women because of my looks and lack of social skills.
IT Geek Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 (edited) Man. How old are you? Maybe you just need to get laid consecutively that will help you out with women so you don't fear them anymore. Go to the Ukraine and visit high end strip clubs. The women there are basically for sale and you won't get rejected. Have a blast and then come back after having like ten ons and then see the difference with how you will be with women. You have money start using it. Early 40s. Getting laid by a sure thing doesn't help with self-confidence or social skills. I'm not exactly what women want in a guy physically and have even been so much as told I'm unattractive. So, I go into it with this mindset that a women won't like me because of my physical appearance. As a result, I don't approach women. Edited November 19, 2012 by IT Geek
Ceran Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 (edited) Man. How old are you? Maybe you just need to get laid consecutively that will help you out with women so you don't fear them anymore. Go to the Ukraine and visit high end strip clubs. The women there are basically for sale and you won't get rejected. Have a blast and then come back after having like ten ons and then see the difference with how you will be with women. You have money start using it. hahaha This forum.. I'm ****ing dying here. I really can't believe some of the stuff that's being posted here. You think that just because he ****s 10 hookers in Ukraine, he is going to acquire some bull**** mojo that will make them more attractive to girls back home? These girls are spoiled for looks, they don't care about any of this stuff.. In fact he'll become even more jaded, it Ukraine the girls are pretty and skinny, and in America they are fat, arrogant and then titled – too entitled for the way they look Edited November 19, 2012 by Ceran 1
Lonely Ronin Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 My top 5 are all double edge swords, because while one woman might love it another might be scared or repulsed by it. Either way these traits are who I am. I'm not changing/hiding/muting them for any woman, she can take them or leave them, the choice is hers. 1.) I'm all in from the beginning. I date to end up in a LTR, so I expect to see you on a semi regular bases. Once a week or so at first, and then 2 or 3 times a week as the relationship progresses etc. I don't play games, and make it pretty clear what I'm looking for without actually saying it. I have no problem expressing my feelings, or concerns about the woman in question. I'd say about half the woman I have dated are attracted to this trait, because they are looking for that as well. The other half seemed to be scared by it (2 women have said so), because they felt pressured to figure out what they want, and if I'm it. I ran into one of the two woman that told me 9 months or so after we dated and she said is scared her because she didn't know what she really wanted out of her life at the time. 2.) I'm a well rounded person. I have a diverse group of friends, hobbies, and interests. Usually I have one or 2 in common with the woman I'm dating. Most women love this about me, because I'm not relying on them for a social life. A few have not liked it because they felt they where in competition with my friends & hobbies for my time. I have no problem with reshuffling my priorities, but I'm not going to do it until I see potential for something significant, and proof that she is willing to do the same. 3.) I have manors and I'm protective - I was raised in a small conservative town, by a traditionalist family. Things like getting the door, dropping her off at the door when the weather is bad, and shielding her from potentially harmful situations are instinctive to me. A lot of woman like this a lot, but a few are utterly repulsed by it. The few that where repulsed by it seemed to feel I was trying to push them into a subservient role, or that I felt they weren't capable of handling issues on their own. 4.) I more serious & intense to be around than most guys. I can have an in-depth philosophical conversation about topics that a lot of guys are reluctant to talk about. If a decision needs to be made, I'm going to make it, and I'm not going to look back. I don't mince words, so if you want an honest answer you better be prepared for it. I don't believe in half measures, if your going to do something then do it right. Some woman love this because I'm "grounded" & "secure", while others don't because I'm "rigid" & "uptight". I admit I don't let loose as much as some guys, but when I do I have been told I'm awesome. I ran into at a woman at a party almost a year after she broke up with me. It still brings a smile to her face when she said I didn't think you could party like that. 5.) I have personal style & taste. I know how to dress well, and still be me. I'd define my style as rugged athletic. A woman at a party once said I looked like I stepped out of an Eddie Bauer or L.L.Bean catalog. I'm the same way with my home, It doesn't have a lot of stuff in it, but all nice stuff. I'd rather wait months to get something nice then buy cheap crap just to have it sooner. This trait is the one I have had the lest negative responses to. I can really only thing of one woman, and she wanted to change my style into something I'm not.
IT Geek Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 I'll give you a hint. They want a guy who knows what he wants and isn't afraid of going after it. I've been rejected many times and that is the way it is for ALL guys. Not if you're fat and generally unattractive. After getting told multiple times that you just aren't "visually appealing" or that they "want a size 36 you" it gets to the point where you just have to surrender.
ThaWholigan Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 Not if you're fat and generally unattractive. After getting told multiple times that you just aren't "visually appealing" or that they "want a size 36 you" it gets to the point where you just have to surrender. Or you could try to find ways to not be fat...... 2
IT Geek Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 Or you could try to find ways to not be fat...... I am and it working. But that still doesn't do anything for my self-confidence. I went through this same weight thing in HS and have always seen myself as physically undesirable, even when I was "normal" in college.
IT Geek Posted November 19, 2012 Posted November 19, 2012 You probably spend a lot of times on a computer. But try-start by a little-of walking everyday and everyday increase it. You are still young-40s is young-so your body can take it. Eventually turn that walking into light jogging and then running. And you'll see the differences in a year if you stay consistent and not eat a lot. Or since you have a lot of money you can get your stomach stapled and loose a lot of weight and then from there start the exercising. If I was in your situation I would do that. You can do it if you want to and the only thing stopping you is you. Dude, I hike/jog/walk 15-20 miles a week and am doing the Couch25k in order to do the Color Run in April. Also eat healthy now. I think my main thing is I use the weight as a crutch to cover up my social ineptitude. I have no clue how to start up a conversation with a woman and can't get up the nerve to ask anyone out because in my mind I think why would they want someone like me?
IT Geek Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 They want a guy like you cause you have money. You don't need to spend it but them knowing you have that is security. Now don't ask or say anything about yourself unless it is asked. Ask her how her day is. Talk about what she says, you know that practice makes perfection. Kind of hard when you get even start a conversation. LOL
ThaWholigan Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Dude, I hike/jog/walk 15-20 miles a week and am doing the Couch25k in order to do the Color Run in April. Also eat healthy now. I think my main thing is I use the weight as a crutch to cover up my social ineptitude. I have no clue how to start up a conversation with a woman and can't get up the nerve to ask anyone out because in my mind I think why would they want someone like me? Hiking and jogging won't speed up that weight loss, dude. You need some interval training at some point, do some sprints, some bodyweight exercises and compound exercises. Take it up a notch .
runningfar Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Dude, I hike/jog/walk 15-20 miles a week and am doing the Couch25k in order to do the Color Run in April. Also eat healthy now. I think my main thing is I use the weight as a crutch to cover up my social ineptitude. I have no clue how to start up a conversation with a woman and can't get up the nerve to ask anyone out because in my mind I think why would they want someone like me? Running doesn't always mean weight loss. But there are a lot of former awkward people in the running community, especially long distances (marathon/ultra). If you end up liking it, you're gonna meet people and be fine. That is probably true of most hobbies. I don't think your weight is stopping you but your fear; anything that calms that is a good thing. Congrats on the life changes.
Lonely Ronin Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 I think my main thing is I use the weight as a crutch to cover up my social ineptitude. I have no clue how to start up a conversation with a woman and can't get up the nerve to ask anyone out because in my mind I think why would they want someone like me? Do you work in a building with an elevator? If so when you get on say something about the weather looking forward to the next holiday/weekend. Most people dislike silence in a confined social situation like that, and will almost impulsively start talking if someone else does. Start small, just in the elevator, and then as you get more relaxed carry the conversation out into the parking lot etc.
IT Geek Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Do you work in a building with an elevator? If so when you get on say something about the weather looking forward to the next holiday/weekend. Most people dislike silence in a confined social situation like that, and will almost impulsively start talking if someone else does. Start small, just in the elevator, and then as you get more relaxed carry the conversation out into the parking lot etc. Unfortunately, we own our building and are the only occupants. Not a big challenge to talk to people I interact with every day!
IT Geek Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 You are having a conversation now. And honestly just practice. Drink a little to loosen you up and go from there. Well, conversing in a forum and in person is like comparing apples to cauliflower.
Lonely Ronin Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Unfortunately, we own our building and are the only occupants. Not a big challenge to talk to people I interact with every day! Unless you work for a company of like 40 people my advice still stand.
LittlePrince Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 This is only my view, not in the right order. Hate if you want to or tell me if i am wrong. Since i am in collage most young people don´t have big amount of money so it doesn't count here. 1. Face: (if you fail on this one, your pretty much out of luck. Face is your key to success with women.) 2. Height: Not being under 5´10, (I know few who don´t want boyfriends over 6´0, and their boyfriends are indeed in the 5´8-5´10 range). 3. Body: Having really ripped or muscular body. (everyone can get this with hard work and you don´t even need to be that big.) 4. Confident: being idiotically confident and treat women like children. (most guys are not like this). 5. Popular: being wanted by other women, the more the better. Being kind/funny/gentleman don´t make it on the list. Anyone disagree?. Top 2 things which make you successful with women: 1.) A sack (big enough to fit a human head in) 2.) A cudgel heavy enough to maim a small dog if accidentally dropped
LittlePrince Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Well, conversing in a forum and in person is like comparing apples to cauliflower. Yes talking to people in person is a lot like cauliflower.
IT Geek Posted November 20, 2012 Posted November 20, 2012 Unless you work for a company of like 40 people my advice still stand. It's about 60.
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