The top 5 things that make you successful with women.

[SmileFace]

I really don't think you can actually construct a list for college. Since generally people with like interests will hook up in college. That is just how I see it. It is pretty standard since I know tons of hipsters, emos that do well but won't fit your list. Your list is what you think it takes to be successful with the women you are trying to attract - which, yes that will make sense. However that will be your own fault to go after girls that you think have no attraction to you. Since you are under some preconceived notion that they find attractive. Which probably makes you think you aren't good enough and don't even try to approach most girls since you aren't this standard you have built in your head - instead of finding your niche or sorts. Shrugs

[QdB]

I know what you mean. I'm nothing to look at and I'm skinny but I tend to notice that when I'm pissed off and it shows, and when I go cave-man by not shaving my face for weeks the hot chicks in my college begin to check me out a lot and become nervous. I am very off-put to them because I reason I have no chance, so I am friendlly to women who are in my league looks wise - and guess what?

 

Its like I'm their little brother, LOL.

 

And yeah. James Dean is also my model of what a man should be like(not conformist to the society that hates him) and I also consider him to be one of hollywood's finest-looking actors of ever.

 

Yep I grew a goatee and got more attention from women

[threebyfate]

One overwhelming requirement for emotionally healthy women is for men to actually like women, instead of considering them meat, the enemy or a combination of the two. Of course there will be emotionally unhealthy women with very low self-esteem who are happy with any male attention but they're more the outliers than the norm.

 

People like people who like them back.

[KraftDinner]

1.) Demonstrated intelligence through high achievement, humor, art, music, and activities.

 

2.)Popularity and Charisma follows naturally from demonstrating intelligence to people of similar taste and intelligence. A male or female who is leader of a research group in microbiology is as much alpha as the captain of the lacrosse team. Leadership is always an aphrodisiac (In college this boils down to a womans friends opinions of you much of the time.)

 

3.)Looks. I have seen people who look every which way get laid and have relationships if they had the first two things. However looks can compensate for a time for a lack of intelligence and charisma. In college since most young men don't really have #1 and #2 #3 becomes more important. That said, mature intelligent people realize that #3 is not the basis for a relationship.

 

0.) In college most people seem to want to just hang out and hook up without any long term promises being made. In college it's really more about getting ones short to medium term needs met. Some people do find a real relationship there, not many.

 

A word on height, masculinity and selection, what does the data say?:

 

When it comes to looks I question weather traditional 20th/21st century"masculinity" is all it's cracked up to be. Plenty of young women want to do Justin Beiber. Plenty wanted to do David Bowie, or Prince, etc.

 

Over time Y chromosomal lines in which the men don't have what many here call the "Alpha" look do just fine. Overtime, as the course of our evolution for the last six million years shows, the most attractive quality in a mate is intelligence. I think that is true even in college. Otherwise we would all look like cavemen by now and there would be more sexual dimorphism not less, as compared to other great apes.

 

Female gorilla's for example weigh 61% as much as males. While among humans males and females generally weigh about the same. Such that the BMI scale can be scientifically meaningful to the health of both sexes. Perhaps that need for a man to outweigh her yet be healthy drives women to want height.

 

The average US white woman is 5'4. While the average US white man is about 5'10". Enough for the average woman to stand on 3" heels and still be towered over and all that by an average man.

 

TLDR: Intelligence begets charisma confidence and leadership of intelligent people. Looks matter but not too much. In college people mainly just hook up and hang out (Looking back those relationships were generally about that). As for height that doesn't really matter if your at least 5'8"...set your sights on a woman who is 6" shorter than you there are plenty of them.

 

I agree. Especially about the Prince/Bowie/Bieber stuff. I'll never get all the men on here moaning there's only one type women like. Get over it and get on with it, I say.

[KraftDinner]

I just wanted to add: one of the hottest guys I've ever met was 5'7"...my height. His face wasn't even conventionally amazing but it was mildly cute.

 

However, he had this way of looking at women, talking to them as if they were the only ones in the room...made you feel amazing to have the chance to talk to him. His intensity was incredibly attractive. The guy could have any girl he wanted, seriously. All my friends thought he was ridiculously hot, and so did I.

 

Looks-wise he was pretty much average but overall he was a 10 for attractiveness. SO hot.

[RogerWallace111]

This **** is ridiculous... At least where I come from your assessment is nowhere near accurate.

 

Personality & non-physical traits are more of a factor in getting girls than looks. Yes, if you are particularly unattractive, that will make it difficult. But given you're a relatively normal looking guy, it all comes down to exuding a easy confidence, being funny, and generally charming. My friend who's been with the most girls is not particularly handsome and always just slightly overweight (no muscle definition, minor beer belly). And then I know multiple guys with very handsome faces and lean/toned bodies who lack the ease and confidence to get girls more than rarely.

 

I definitely don't deny that being good-looking gives you an edge coming in. And of course, given two guys have the exact same personality, the better looking one will be more desirable. But if you're not bad looking, your personality can potentially be enough to get any girl.

 

I've said on here before, my close buddy who is rather objectively the most handsome guy I know, and is fit/toned, does worse with girls than almost anyone I know. He has all sorts of weird self-esteem issues that cause him to be not confident and often act over-the-top ridiculous. From time to time (every few months at best) , yes, some trashy chick will make out with him, maaaybe go home with him, simply because he's good-looking. And this is a guy who most people could tell has a good heart and is funny in his own zany way. But even that and great looks don't result him getting the girls he wants.

[Mrlonelyone]

One overwhelming requirement for emotionally healthy women is for men to actually like women, instead of considering them meat, the enemy or a combination of the two. Of course there will be emotionally unhealthy women with very low self-esteem who are happy with any male attention but they're more the outliers than the norm.

 

People like people who like them back.

 

Unless they have some deep seated unexamined fear of real intimacy. The women who go for men who mistreat them would be scared witless by a man who didn't and who actually cared for them. Likewise the men who go for that kind of woman, weather they are "bad" or "nice" wouldn't know how to handle a woman who was healthy.

 

One more thing from my transgender perspective.

 

I have found myself attracted to plenty of men who did not do it visually after I got to know them. I have found myself attracted to plenty of women who did not do it for me visually.

 

I can't pin point when I learned this, but for as long as I can tell I have preferred it that way. People who are all looks are really boring unless you just want to hook up.

[RogerWallace111]

My list would be (and let's assume that guy is not hideous, that'd just be a wildcard factor- most people look decent)

 

 

1. confidence / apparent "comfort within one's skin" : this goes into the way you make eye contact, convey that you're interested, and yes body language, etc

 

2. charm / humor : ability to make a woman feel good, smile, etc.

 

3. looks : yes, having a face the particular woman you're after finds pleasant is a factor. but also keep in mind that female taste varies a ton. you commonly hear a girl go "yeah, he's not my usual type, but he was just so funny and sweet I completely fell for him"

 

4. dress / grooming

 

5. what you do : yes, a guy who works at the laundrymat and lives with his parents can definitely get an awesome, beautiful girl should he be charming. but, one has a lot less to compensate for if they do something that demonstrates they have/had motivation, passion, ambition, unique interests, or simply keeps them independent.

[threebyfate]

Unless they have some deep seated unexamined fear of real intimacy. The women who go for men who mistreat them would be scared witless by a man who didn't and who actually cared for them. Likewise the men who go for that kind of woman, weather they are "bad" or "nice" wouldn't know how to handle a woman who was healthy.

Hence why my reference to emotionally healthy women.

[IT Geek]

Yes, if you are particularly unattractive, that will make it difficult.

 

That is an understatement.

[CarrieT]

your age shows..this list will work well in college/HS but thats it. thats your opinion and I respect it.

^^^ THIS ^^^

 

Your list is for the youth and for dating purposes only. Do you think women are looking for husband material based on "a ripped body?"

[Necromancer]

This **** is ridiculous... At least where I come from your assessment is nowhere near accurate.

 

Personality & non-physical traits are more of a factor in getting girls than looks. Yes, if you are particularly unattractive, that will make it difficult. But given you're a relatively normal looking guy, it all comes down to exuding a easy confidence, being funny, and generally charming. My friend who's been with the most girls is not particularly handsome and always just slightly overweight (no muscle definition, minor beer belly). And then I know multiple guys with very handsome faces and lean/toned bodies who lack the ease and confidence to get girls more than rarely.

 

I definitely don't deny that being good-looking gives you an edge coming in. And of course, given two guys have the exact same personality, the better looking one will be more desirable. But if you're not bad looking, your personality can potentially be enough to get any girl.

 

I've said on here before, my close buddy who is rather objectively the most handsome guy I know, and is fit/toned, does worse with girls than almost anyone I know. He has all sorts of weird self-esteem issues that cause him to be not confident and often act over-the-top ridiculous. From time to time (every few months at best) , yes, some trashy chick will make out with him, maaaybe go home with him, simply because he's good-looking. And this is a guy who most people could tell has a good heart and is funny in his own zany way. But even that and great looks don't result him getting the girls he wants.

 

Looks are much more important than any non physical things, I agree that if she is slightly attracted to you and your personality is good it "could" make you really hot to her.

 

The best looking guys that i know do the best with women.... PEROID regardless of their confidence level.

 

women's life is about looks, do you really think that it doesn't matter that much to them? Why do we have all the Friend-zoneing going on? lack of looks simple.

[Necromancer]

I really don't think you can actually construct a list for college. Since generally people with like interests will hook up in college. That is just how I see it. It is pretty standard since I know tons of hipsters, emos that do well but won't fit your list. Your list is what you think it takes to be successful with the women you are trying to attract - which, yes that will make sense. However that will be your own fault to go after girls that you think have no attraction to you. Since you are under some preconceived notion that they find attractive. Which probably makes you think you aren't good enough and don't even try to approach most girls since you aren't this standard you have built in your head - instead of finding your niche or sorts. Shrugs

 

Do you really think i just hit on models?

 

I am an average looking guy(decent at best), my acne in the face is taking me down.

 

As i have heard that acne is a big minus. Most of the gals i hit on are "Decent" looking.

[Necromancer]

People get married in their late 20s, if at all. How do you think it would feel to be that baby-faced guy who gets passed on for hotter more masculine faced guys for about a decade or more?

 

Some consolation that your future wife is banging a hot guy right now. No worries! You'll get her after she's had her fun and she needs a stable and dependable husband(sucker) to settle down with and probably divorce a few years thereafter.

 

You forgot that her looks are fading and the better looking guy got her in the prime. Ofc looks don't matter to women when hers are fading if not totally gone and she looks like an fat lesbian masculine warpig.

[Sun Devil]

Necromancer and Colez Fanboy, are you guys improving yourselves and approaching women? I know that my height concerns me, but at least I am trying to make myself attractive in other areas

[Mrlonelyone]

You forgot that her looks are fading and the better looking guy got her in the prime. Ofc looks don't matter to women when hers are fading if not totally gone and she looks like an fat lesbian masculine warpig.

 

You know there is a real possibility that I have an illegitimate son who's mother is getting married to a relatively baby faced guy in the forseeable future. (I have inquired to decent attorneys and my options are limited and expensive to get an answer.) Does that make me a hot alpha male inspite of being a tranny?

 

Perhaps attraction is more complex than being conventionally good looking?

 

I hate this word but google the term "Shemale on female" and you will find porn which shows very nice looking women really enjoying very nice looking MTF transsexuals. If such people can experience porno-star level success with females then the average male has to have hope!

[carhill]

OP, when I was your age, watching the interactions as a 'special friend', that list certainly had traction.

 

One thing I will suggest is to actively resist the impulse to believe life will forever mimic that period, as it will, IME, become increasingly difficult to 'believe' women when you get to be my age. A healthier perspective IMO would be to accept such observances as the conditions of the moment, subject to change, and pledging to accept the changes as the come without prejudice. Good luck.

[aMguilts]

This is only my view, not in the right order. Hate if you want to or tell me if i am wrong. Since i am in collage most young people don´t have big amount of money so it doesn't count here.

 

1. Face: (if you fail on this one, your pretty much out of luck. Face is your key to success with women.)

 

2. Height: Not being under 5´10, (I know few who don´t want boyfriends over 6´0, and their boyfriends are indeed in the 5´8-5´10 range).

 

3. Body: Having really ripped or muscular body. (everyone can get this with hard work and you don´t even need to be that big.)

 

4. Confident: being idiotically confident and treat women like children. (most guys are not like this).

 

5. Popular: being wanted by other women, the more the better.

 

Being kind/funny/gentleman don´t make it on the list.

 

Anyone disagree?.

 

hi Necromancer.

 

yeah i disagree.

 

For 1, most of us `older` guys don`t have a lot of money in this climate atm anyway. And as for your number 5

5. Popular: being wanted by other women, the more the better.

 

Kidding right? How much of a contradiction against your number 4 in your list do you need??

 

You have such a poor understanding of what `women` really want , it`s unreal.

Well i`ll give you an example. I`m 6 foot, green eyes, shaved head, great body( so i`ve been told) , got the best looking ass in jeans ( so i`ve been told a numerous times) and i am the laugh at the party. ( again, so i`ve been told).

 

Thats how i look. Now the real me. I`m a manic depressive, i`m insecure, i work WAY too much, i`m unreliable, i`m unstable. I`m likely to flip out out at any given momment or situation. I worry waaaayy to much about EVERYTHING.

 

But i`m honest. I have never hid the way i am. I reckon thats why a lot of women in my past ( theres been a few) have fallen for me.

 

I see being honest is not on your list? i wonder why?

 

Seen the film shallow Hal? If not , go see it

 

aM

[ascendotum]

hi Necromancer.

For 1, most of us `older` guys don`t have a lot of money in this climate atm anyway. And as for your number 5

5. Popular: being wanted by other women, the more the better.

 

Kidding right? How much of a contradiction against your number 4 in your list do you need??

 

You have such a poor understanding of what `women` really want , it`s unreal.

 

You have to take into account his age group...early 20s and what he has lived through...teens. For women in their 30s popularity is not a significant factor in their desire for partner, but maybe a bit more so for a ONS (though popularity is very much tied up with those other attraction factors). There have been a number of studies done on what ever its called..social proof, affirmation halo or whatever and it is definitely a factor for younger women in attraction. Watch a concert clip of OneDirection or even the Rolling Stones 40 yrs back to see how young women behave. For sure it fades in the 20s. Like money makes money..p**** gets more p**** to an extent.

Edited November 18, 2012 by ascendotum

[Ceran]

face (followed by height) are the only things that matter

 

anyone that says otherwise simply has never experienced being ugly as a guy and they should thank jesus christ for it every single morning

 

i went out with my good looking buddy hundreds of times in college...

 

it was always the same with girls. we would open the set, "his" girl would immediately smile and be flirty and be into him even if they could barely speak the same language, "mine" would be cold and answer with one word replies and make it clear she wants me to go. even if i told him to take the prettier girl.. the uglier one would just be pissed shes not talking to him instead

 

sometimes even he got blown out or rejected outright (such is the way of the club) but never once did they accept me and not him.

 

personality/confidence/charm are all illusions. read up on halo effect

[IT Geek]

face (followed by height) are the only things that matter

 

You forgot weight.

[Sith Apprentice]

face (followed by height) are the only things that matter

 

anyone that says otherwise simply has never experienced being ugly as a guy and they should thank jesus christ for it every single morning

 

i went out with my good looking buddy hundreds of times in college...

 

it was always the same with girls. we would open the set, "his" girl would immediately smile and be flirty and be into him even if they could barely speak the same language, "mine" would be cold and answer with one word replies and make it clear she wants me to go. even if i told him to take the prettier girl.. the uglier one would just be pissed shes not talking to him instead

 

sometimes even he got blown out or rejected outright (such is the way of the club) but never once did they accept me and not him.

 

personality/confidence/charm are all illusions. read up on halo effect

 

Having a wingman is only beneficial if he's your equal in the looks department. Otherwise, women will reject you out of spite for not getting the hotter guy.

 

When it comes to personality just put the words "hot guy" in front of whatever BS she says. She wants a hot guy who's confident/charming/intelligent. When an average looking guy tries to be confident he's a creeper.

 

If intelligence is attractive then why don't MIT grads have groupies??

[Lonely Ronin]

If intelligence is attractive then why don't MIT grads have groupies??

 

because overwhelming intelligence doesn't make up for a complete lack of other desirable traits.

[Imported]

 

I hate this word but google the term "Shemale on female" and you will find porn which shows very nice looking women really enjoying very nice looking MTF transsexuals. If such people can experience porno-star level success with females then the average male has to have hope!

 

What does that prove? Very nice looking women also seem to enjoy sex with Ron Jeremy. Of course they're paid to. These are porn actresess . They will seem to enjoy having sex with things that are hot even human.

[ThaWholigan]

Top 5 things that make you successful with women

 

1) Not being a little bitch. i.e. Complaining 24/7 that girls don't like you because you don't have the "looks" or whatever it is that you think is holding you back but isn't.

 

2) Not blaming women for your problems. We know there are quite a few bad behaving bitches out there - fortunately they don't make up the majority of women, regardless of what you believe. Again, if you have a problem, see number 1.

 

3) Being self-aware. Understand that you can always improve upon things, even if you're such a dumbass that you think you can't and it's hopeless/impossible/whatever. Understand that you can overcome limitations. And understand that sometimes you're doing something wrong and you need to figure it out.

 

4) Stop looking for excuses. So bad boys get laid. So do "AFCs". So do ugly dudes. And short dudes. All kinds of dudes get laid. The only reason you aren't is because of YOU.

 

5) DO SOMETHING. Workout, find a purpose, get money, talk to women, actually try to f*ck them without expecting results all the time. Anything - just stop bitching.

 

 

The end.