gabriel345 Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 THEN: So my ex and I were supposed to go to a date but I did the horrible mistake of inviting him over before the date out of excitement I guess, it was an impulse that I almost immediately wanted to take back but it was too late. He came by really late and I was furious and let everything on my mind out. Mostly it was why he didn't call and such. I did apologize for that and he knew that I was angry, he even said he understood. I know it's really bad though, I seemed desperate way too much than I really am (this really bugs me). After that I called like I said I would for our date and texted very neutrally about it. Even told him that if he wanted to cancel it was ok but I preferred that he told me this instead of going m.i.a. Four days has passed and he hasn't called. I know he was busy those days but I don't think it was as busy for him not to give me the straight forward answer I asked for. He's making me wait for no reason? We've been apart for almost three months now and had a 2 year relationship. I really wanted that chance, did I screw things up?? What should I do? NOW: So I called him, yeah, I know but that ending was too much for me so I took a risk and called. Turns out that he was pissed about the text, he was even more distant than before yet agreed to meet. He asked me what I thought the date was and I told him what I had told him before that it was a slow try to things. Then, he explained that it was more like a normal date. At that point, again, I was furious because now he was backing out like it was a joke. I asked him why would he think that and say he missed me? He replied that he had not ripped his feelings for me, it wasn't like that, that he did miss me. We then started arguing about past problems and attitudes from both parts, yet I tried to calm things every time it began to clime up. Long story short, he asked me out again. I told him I would call and let him know. Things are pretty clear now for him (of what I want) so what is this?? I dont know what to do, I don't want to call, go and then not hear from him again until I look for him. Yet, I do want to go, he has finally done something but I'm afraid that it's only a one time thing and I'm left waiting again. Please help
Own Worst Enemy Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 And that is a big if, because he isn't exactly creaming his pants about the prospect, you are doing your best to kill it! Relax. He's just a dude, at the end of the day. Keep remembering that, keep smiling, be breezy, never ever ever text or call him first. Then see what happens. If it's killing you, post here, call your friends, buy a fish and talk to it... Just Don't call or text him. Remember the mantra: you want a text, NOT a text-back. The latter doesn't count.
Author gabriel345 Posted November 16, 2012 Author Posted November 16, 2012 Ok, I hear you. But I did reassured him I would call and let him know so what if he's waiting for me to tell him that I'm available since I told him I was busy, I mean what if DO leave him waiting. He even said we could reschedule if I couldn't make it. That would be bad wouldn't it? IDK, I'm just tired of waiting and this situation. I want to make sure I take good/productive decisions towards renewing his interests in a relationship. I've done NC for past three days and the date is supposed to be tomorrow, he hasn't contacted me either. I think I made this comfortable to him since I said it loud and clear that it would be me calling, stupid huh?
Own Worst Enemy Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 ... if he wants to see you, he will call you. he won't sit around thinking, dammmmmmn, i wanted to see her so bad but she didn't call and now my heart is too broken to pick up the phone. honestly. if he wants to see you, he will call you. if he doesn't, he wasn't bothered anyway.
Author gabriel345 Posted November 18, 2012 Author Posted November 18, 2012 So I waited, he didn't call until the time I gave him to. I did, I know you said not to but a friend of mine suggested that I did since that was the agreement and well, we get fed up with any little hope we get from anyone. I accept it, I got carried away with what she said :/. Anyways, turns out he was "waiting" for me to give him an answer, he was happy I called but didn't see any thrill. He was at his friend's yet picked up the phone. We had a great time, lots of fun and good memories. But he kept the conversation very superficial and not about me at all. This bothered me a little although it's been a while since I dated and I don't really know how dates with an ex should flow, it seemed normal like the ones we used to have yet more exciting. He was very gentle like and flirty at the same time. At the end of the night, he said he had a lot of fun and he kissed me. I didn't let him get carried away. He kissed me playfully like 3 times without me moving a hair. But at the last one, I kissed him back (no french though lol). Very passionate and sparks everywhere, I mean the tension escalated. But I pushed him away just enough to not get the wrong idea. He said he missed me and kept repeating that for few more times. But he seemed very very confused. Then, told me he would contact me before I left in a few days. I swear he almost ran after that, he was going out but I get a feeling it was more due for what happened because he got distant. What's he's deal? He wanted to kiss me so there! You get a ******* great kiss. He even gave me a peace sign as a bye then he waved after I gave him a "dude, please" look (-_-), LOL. I could even smell the mental mess he was in. I don't know what was that and I kept waiting for another date but he never said anything. I wasn't going to either. I'm so confused now. I found out I really still love him but seriously, the so called game has me too tired by now. What do you think?
Own Worst Enemy Posted November 18, 2012 Posted November 18, 2012 Is that you need to back off. Make him wonder where you are. He is going to do one of two things: chase you or breathe a sigh of relief. And if it's the latter, well, screw him and nothing you could have said would ever have made any difference. Text your friends, post here, do whatever it takes to ignore him unless/until he cares enough to initiate the contact. Then ask yourself if YOU want tom reply to HIM.
Author gabriel345 Posted November 18, 2012 Author Posted November 18, 2012 ok, I'll write here so I won't be tempted because there's only few days left before a I leave. :S But may I ask, why do you think I should back off? I mean is what happened too much? I thought that maybe it could've been somewhat of a positive step for us, at least for me it was. I could clear up my emotions, although I dunno if I would be in a relationship but I would definitely consider it if he would chase me.
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