Emissary Posted November 15, 2012 Posted November 15, 2012 (edited) So I posted a while ago about how a girl I really liked asked me to coffee. We were co-workers for a while, it's how we met, I always kind of liked her from the start, but she had a boyfriend for most of that time. It eventually turned out that he was very abusive towards her and she finally got the courage to break up with him. We were friendly before that happened, but after the break up things really took off, we became much much more flirty. Though, I gave her space for a while, deciding not to ask her out until at least a month had passed, she was obviously still hurting from the guy. Anyway, she got transferred to a different store out of the blue, didn't really even have a chance to get her info to stay in touch. I eventually found her cell number in the office and unprofessionally used it to text her. She was cool with this and we had a good chat, she even openly invited me to tell her how I really felt about her, which I did. I followed up by asking her out to coffee, to which she gave a sort of unclear answer, I left it at that and never asked her again. Weeks later, we had a bit of a falling out, to which she apologized for avoiding/ignoring me, she said she was still hurting from her previous relationship and wanted to wait before meeting me. It should be worth mentioning that she has dropped the term "friend" in a couple text conversations , though, it's often hard to decipher exactly what she's trying to say as she's quite dyslexic. A week later, I was having a bit of a small talk text conversation with her, when out of the blue she actually phoned me. We had a really good conversation that lasted a whopping 30 minutes, the entire time I felt like she was trying to build up to something. This was confirmed when at the end of the conversation she asked me out to that coffee I suggested before. We agreed on Saturday to which she told me to text her on Friday to work out the details. Friday came, I sent her a series of texts throughout the day with no answer, sent a couple more texts on Saturday, still no answer. Sunday came, I was obviously upset with what happened. As fate would have it, somebody called in sick and she ended up coming to work at my place for one day more. I basically asked her why she didn't answer my texts. She told me she forgot her phone at work (Friday and Saturday were her days off), I believed her because she does live a very long ways from her workplace, she couldn't be expected to drive all the way back. Still, she was unapologetic, and I didn't talk to her about it any further. We had a good work day together, I almost considered asking to try the coffee again, but something held me back, I let her go without asking. It should also be mentioned that I had done some big favours for her when we worked together, covered a couple shifts so she could move out from her apartment after the breakup. She said she really appreciated what I did for her. She was away on vacation when she got transferred, before she left she said she would get me something nice as thanks. When I got back in touch with her, it turned out she had gotten me something, though for the longest time she had no opportunity to give it to me. One of the stipulations of the coffee she asked me to was that she could finally give me my gift. She popped into my store on Tuesday, she was carrying a small package. She asked one of my other co-workers to give the package to me. I'm not sure if she saw me there or not, but either way, she was content to not give it in person, or she didn't want to say hi. I threw it in the garbage without even looking at it. Minutes later I felt guilty and dug it out, it was a cheap two dollar keychain from Disneyland. I stared at it for a long time before eventually throwing it away for a second and final time. I felt nothing doing it, no sadness, not even spite for her, I just stopped caring. I deleted all her contact info from my phone, I have her number memorized, so it doesn't really make a difference, but I did it anyway. I'm wondering if she will ever try and contact me again, and if she does, what will I do. Would I ignore her? If she asked for coffee a second time, would I say yes? I just don't understand her. I do cut her some slack because she has even admitted to being socially challenged to an extent. I'm content in believing that she only wanted to do coffee so she could just give me that stupid gift and be done with me. But why would she have had that huge conversation with me, and why would she have even asked me for coffee in the first place when she was willing to just drop it off at my workplace? At any rate, I'm moving on, if she doesn't contact me then it's the end of it. I've got a blind date later with a girl I've decided I'm interested in, there's a few cute girls I've met on PlentyofFish, and a couple more I'm acquainted with that I'd like to try out. Edited November 15, 2012 by Emissary
dasein Posted November 15, 2012 Posted November 15, 2012 Good for you for getting your thoughts down and having the resolve to move on. She just isn't interested, is rude, and don't buy the "left my phone at work" for a minute. Keep plugging and good luck.
spiderowl Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 She didn't apologise for not contacting you. She could have said 'sorry, I left my phone at work'. She could have contacted you immediately after she got her phone back. She's inconsiderate so not worthy of your attention. You did the right thing. Sorry you got messed about.
seibert253 Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 Chicks stand you up, because they can. Chicks dump you, because they can. Chicks break your heart, because they can.
truth_seeker Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 I've been down this road and can tell you, yes, it does suck to be led on and messed with, but in the long run, you're better off not even getting too close to a woman like this. She's got issues and you seem like a guy who is too good for her.
MrCastle Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 Stay away from her. She's bad news. Consider yourself lucky for not getting closer to her.
musemaj11 Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 To her you are the pathetic nice guy who would kiss the ground she walks on. She wants a macho man whom she can respect like her abusive boyfriend.
mortensorchid Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 Move on from her. She doesn't have enough courtesy to call you or let you know somehow of a problem with seeing you for that coffee date. It's not your fault.
Author Emissary Posted November 16, 2012 Author Posted November 16, 2012 To her you are the pathetic nice guy who would kiss the ground she walks on. She wants a macho man whom she can respect like her abusive boyfriend. Well you may be generalizing a good bit there, because I'm not a nice guy. Or at least, I'm not the stereotypical nice guy. The nice guy would have believed the best of her, the nice guy wouldn't have dreamed of throwing away a gift somebody got for you, and the nice guy certainly would have forgiven her. I'm not a nice guy, but that's ok, because she's not a nice girl. To me she's just a bitch who would **** on the ground I walk on.
musemaj11 Posted November 16, 2012 Posted November 16, 2012 Well you may be generalizing a good bit there, because I'm not a nice guy. Or at least, I'm not the stereotypical nice guy. The nice guy would have believed the best of her, the nice guy wouldn't have dreamed of throwing away a gift somebody got for you, and the nice guy certainly would have forgiven her. I'm not a nice guy, but that's ok, because she's not a nice girl. To me she's just a bitch who would **** on the ground I walk on. I said 'TO HER' you are the pathetic nice guy. Yes, you did throw away the gift. But does she know that? No she doesnt. All she knows is that you covered her shifts when she asked you to, you looked her up on company's data in order to get in contact with her, and you said nothing despite her unapologetically standing you up. She sees you as the ground she walks on.
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