lakerman34 Posted November 15, 2012 Posted November 15, 2012 (edited) My ex joined a sorority. I was so excited cuz me, being COMPLETELY against Greek Life in general and all about individuality, was so excited for her and the prospect of me being able to go to her crush parties and formal. I put up with ALLLLLL of her ish. Everything. And now another guy is reaping the rewards of getting to go to her crush parties, and this week, her formal. It makes me so sick. That should be me. I could remember all our bad times, all the ish she gave me, how she was terrible in bed, but it doesn't change the fact that I stayed by her side through it all, and then just 3 weeks after break up (mind you, she was telling friends she WANTED TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH ME (we broke up holding each other closely, crying in each other's arms), and now she's saying I just need to get over her and she's over me), she finds this guy who is THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE of me and, from what I'm hearing from mutual friends, she REALLY likes. She told me she couldn't commit, that's why she and I didn't workout, but it looks like she might commit to this guy, and now this guy is reaping EVERYTHING I worked for, and I'm not getting anything. It's 2AM right now, and they are probably in bed together, and the thought of it makes me SICK. The girl I love with a guy who is taking advantage of her emotions, no less a friend of mine. He comes to me and tries to TALK TO ME, I just say 'sup' and move on. Today he glared at me and walked by me. Good. I don't want to talk to you you short, baby-faced, guitar-playing beach bum pothead. I'm better than you. WOW she downgraded, but as our mutual friend told me (and she was my friend for 4 years yours for 3 months), 'well, that's what she likes.' Stupid b*tch has your back even though I was like a brother to her. Now you're the 'best of friends.' Just 4 more weeks and they are out of my life forever. I really thought this girl was 'the one,' mind you, she (19) and I (22) are very young, I've dated quite a few girls and never fell in love before. She said she loved me too (she was the first to say it as well), but now I question the 7 months we spent together, I question if they were just mere words or if she meant it. I question if this is just a rebound relationship and she still has feelings for me. After all, she walks by me as if I don't exist. Sometimes I look at her, and I can almost see some sorrow in her eyes. I think she regrets breaking up, but she's way too proud to admit she made a mistake. But we don't even say 'hi,' and she is too proud to contact me. Ughhh.......nothing I can do but sit back and avoid them two, but I should be the one with her. I love the girl. I've been NC for almost 6 weeks now, and my best friend and love of my life I will never see again in 4 weeks. I'm trying SO hard. I'm going to join a photography class tomorrow and get a new haircut on Saturday, but while I'm in my room sulking, sometimes hanging out with friends, and studying for exams, she's out making out and screwing this new guy. Sucks. Reality bites. Edited November 15, 2012 by lakerman34
PYTpisces Posted November 15, 2012 Posted November 15, 2012 If you put up with her ish and she wasnt good in bed then it sounds like you kinda settled for her, then fell in love. Now that she's bruised your ego a bit, you've put her on a pedestal and disregarded the things you didn't like in the relationship. Maybe she downgraded to someone who's on her level. If you can do better then take off those darned rose-tinted glasses, accept that you feel this way because of the ego-bruise alone, and continue moving on. The thing about ego bruises is they only turn into permanent scars the longer you dwell on them. it's not an actual reflection of your worth or who you are. It's best to not internalize the way your ego makes you feel because it comes from pride. Too much pride and attention to the ego has often been the demise of character in people who are otherwise amazingly strong and humble. Stay humble and always always always remember that there are legitimate reasons for your incompatibility with her. You will come to find later in life that greek formals are not what makes the world go round! It's not her wedding with the guy. The party might even suck!!! Keep things real and stop imagining that her life is better without you. Imagine your life better without her, because it will be one day! 1
WhatYouWantToHear Posted November 15, 2012 Posted November 15, 2012 Wow, your story was so moving and bipolar it moved me to apathy. Allow me to condense your rant: I put up with ALLLLLL of her ish...I could remember all our bad times...how she was terrible in bed... And then you said... I really thought this girl was 'the one,'...I should be the one with her...I love the girl.
WhatYouWantToHear Posted November 15, 2012 Posted November 15, 2012 Wow, your story was so moving and bipolar it moved me to apathy. Allow me to condense your rant: I put up with ALLLLLL of her ish...I could remember all our bad times...how she was terrible in bed... And then you said... I really thought this girl was 'the one,'...I should be the one with her...I love the girl. Sounds like you were going to be unhappy no matter what with this relationship. When that's the case, its time to look at yourself.
Author lakerman34 Posted November 15, 2012 Author Posted November 15, 2012 Thanks, guys! I think you guys are absolutely right. This is my ego and my pride, I have a HUGE chip on my shoulder. I did settle for her. She kind of ended up on my lap last semester, and I thought of it as me just 'getting some,' but it turned into much more than that. I remember the days where I used to think there wasn't much to her. I'm going to try very hard to remember why I used to think that. I wish the hair stylist was some cutie haha. She's a lovely lady, but my mom's age hahaha. I start a photography class today that I'm VERY excited for. I broke up with one girl, ended up getting in the best shape of my life, another girl I ended up getting a sick tattoo across my back that says my life motto, and this girl is going to be a photography class. If only I didn't separate my shoulder and was able to go to the gym though. I think all my aggression would have been out and I would have been over this girl weeks ago. Oh well, hopefully taking pictures will get me over that hump and who knows, maybe there is another cutie there who just got out of a relationship that wants to learn a thing or two about photography too... OH and yes, I'm graduating in December. 27 more days.... 2
PYTpisces Posted November 15, 2012 Posted November 15, 2012 *just another thought... Settling for someone who you didn't even really want when you first met still means you got to know them and became fond of them. So, it's okay to miss them and everything they brough to your life, good and bad. She's still very much a part of your story. Though the more 'life', for lack of better words, you put between you two, the more perspective you'll gain and the pride and ego will fade with everything else. She'll never go back to being the person she was before you came together, but she will become someone who no longer has the power to evoke emotions from you without your control.
spaniard Posted November 15, 2012 Posted November 15, 2012 (edited) Thanks, guys! etc OH and yes, I'm graduating in December. 27 more days.... Hey, man. In some regards you are just like me, funny. After the break-up I saw every single girl as a potential replacement for my ex, but then after a few weeks I realized that what I really needed was time. Time to heal and feel HAPPY alone. So if I can recommend you something, stop pursuing girls. It's not gonna work, if you jump into another relationship, it will be BAD. Trust me. You're going to miss your ex more than ever. If you remember, I'm myself kind of addicted to sports and especially to the gym just like you. It does help a lot. I also found joining a boxing club quite helpful. (I'm sorry to hear about your shoulder, I know how much it sucks to skip weeks from the gym. I have a wrist tendonitis now, I couldn't go to gym for 3 weeks but hopefully I can go again this weeked. I'm practically over my ex after 4-5 moths, but since I can't work out, it's a bit worse now.) However hard is it for you now, mate, you have to face that it's over. You have to accept it. Maybe his new guy is a downgrade, maybe not, but it's not your problem anymore. Start focusing on yourself. I know it's easy to say, but all you need to do is avoiding her like she was the plague. And what's even more important: stay strong and be a man. You can cry all day at home and in front of your best friend, but never, never ever show your weakness to your ex. And honestly, both you and I are lucky. My ex moved to another country after the break up, so I'll never meet her again. You leave your school, so if you're lucky you'll never meet her again. This is a BLESSING. Imagine how hard it is for those who are co-workers or classmates! As I guess you respect physical fitness and 'manliness' just like me, I can recommend you watching inspirational man-movies. Gladiator, 300, Robin Hood (the 2010 version), Warrior (2011) etc. Oh, and Expendables, of course. Some of these movies are shallow, male versions of the even shallower Sex and the City, but it did help me a lot. Helped me feel that I'm a man, someone on the top of the food chain. Your ego is hurt, so you need the proper tools to heal it. I listen to metalcore, which also helped me a lot, and I can hardly imagine manlier genre than that. Oh, and one more thing. There is one little sentence that I used when I went through the darkest hours: Will it matter one year from now? Edited November 15, 2012 by spaniard 1
Author lakerman34 Posted November 16, 2012 Author Posted November 16, 2012 (edited) Thanks man! Much appreciated. It's just so hard to believe that not too long ago, she and I were in love, and now she's with another guy and I don't exist. I don't matter anymore and he does, and she claims to be over me. It almost makes me question how much she liked me, if at all more than just a guy who satisfied her emotional needs from time to time. I'd say I'm 90% over her, just having a VERY hard time to get over that hump. Honestly, I don't need a relationship, but a casual 'friend' I think would be what I need right now to get to that 100%. If only one can fall into my lap... ALSO, there is no 'maybe he's not a downgrade,' she went from tall, dark, handsome, warm, borderline cocky, muscular, future surgeon to short, runty, fashionably dressed, looks like a little boy, pothead surfer dude beach bum. No comparison Edited November 16, 2012 by lakerman34
Recommended Posts