Moaning about your looks in dating....

[KatZee]

You don't seem to understand that in order to drive her wild in bed the guy first has to get her in his bed and to do that he has to attract her. What attracts women to men? Maculinity. What is masculinity? Above average height(every time I'm out - and I see thousands and thousands of people everyday) I always see the guy in the couple dynamic as much taller than most guys, and the women go from being short to tall.

 

Muscles. Most guys can't grow muscles like arnie, and most can't look lean like Brad Pitt in fight club.

 

Not everyone is attracted to big muscles. Every woman on the planet has a different idea of what gets her going and what turns her on. If you see the article I posted, it has NOTHING to do with looks, or muscles, or being "masculine" in that sense.

 

A lot of women are attracted to wealth, status, and power because to them, that ensures that she and whatever offspring she has, will be provided for in the future.

 

If you click my profile and check out my pic, I'd say I'm a fairly attractive female. I have NEVER in my life dating Mr. Muscles. In fact, the love of my life was a 6.1 tall, thin and lanky guy in college. I'm pretty sure 7/10 wouldn't consider him attractive, he was average. To me, he was the sexiest guy and he knew his way around my body and that just got me.

 

Wasn't about his "masculinity" or the fact he was 6'1. In fact I think taller than average guys are kind of hard to deal with because it strains my neck to kiss or hug them.

 

Initially I wasn't even attracted to him. He completely got me with his personality, and the emotional connection we created together, once he had me on a mental level, that was it. I was his.

[mesmerized]

I'm not defending anyone, just following up on your claim that these "beautiful" housewife reality show women are matched to fugly men. This also demonstrates one of my points, I don't think women, due to whatever factors, can objectively gauge relative attractiveness of either gender as well as men can. None of you ever want to discuss that OK Cupid survey posted often here other than in a rationalizing way.

 

Have heard and seen so many times women categorizing fugly or especially fat women as "good looking," well at least those they don't perceive as a threat (also categorizing reasonably good looking guys as average or worse). It's like a game they play, "Don't you think she's pretty? She's so pretty, don't you think so?" and the girl in question is 40 or so pounds OW with an unfortunate face. It's like they "win the game" by getting the guy to admit that the reality that really exists is subservient to the reality she wants to concoct out of thin air. Then I wonder WTF? What is this woman seeing? I don't find men doing this kind of thing -at all- IME, always women.

 

The reality is, those women are hell of a lot fitter and in better shape than the average women their age and with a number of kids and even better than most younger women in America. If you are comparing them to the 20 year old model then that is your issue and your not so uncommon male way of thinking that any woman that doesn't look youthful is ugly.

[dasein]

I think we may be watching different housewife shows, there are several right? I can't remember where the last one I watched was located, but remember the NY and ATL ones having generally unattractive women.

[mesmerized]

I think we may be watching different housewife shows, there are several right? I can't remember where the last one I watched was located, but remember the NY and ATL ones having generally unattractive women.

 

I mostly have seen beverly hills and orange county but....you just proved my point. Even the NY ones are among the most attractive in their own age group. But no they are "unattractive" and not even average (which they are not, they are certainly above average in your fat country). So much for men being attracted to a wide range of "average" women

[xxoo]

I'm in a arts college. The pasty-artsy/skinny/balding/great personalities guys are busy sharing their adventures in the video game skyrim. The vast majority of the women are:

 

A)Looking for a boyfriend(minimum height x; looks etc)

B) in FWB's with the hot guys.

C)Hitting the nightclubs for male attention and not worrying about relationships nor sex.

 

it could be that when you were young women went for the artistic type, but nowadays women only go for the male model/drug dealer/bad boy/Prince Harry type.

 

Maybe get out of the video game skyrim? (whatever that is )

 

I know some currently pasty-artsy type guys, in their 20s. They have no trouble getting pretty girlfriends. But they are out there where the women are--playing their guitars, showing their art, reading their poetry, etc.

[Hawakai]

Not everyone is attracted to big muscles. Every woman on the planet has a different idea of what gets her going and what turns her on. If you see the article I posted, it has NOTHING to do with looks, or muscles, or being "masculine" in that sense.

 

A lot of women are attracted to wealth, status, and power because to them, that ensures that she and whatever offspring she has, will be provided for in the future.

 

If you click my profile and check out my pic, I'd say I'm a fairly attractive female. I have NEVER in my life dating Mr. Muscles. In fact, the love of my life was a 6.1 tall, thin and lanky guy in college. I'm pretty sure 7/10 wouldn't consider him attractive, he was average. To me, he was the sexiest guy and he knew his way around my body and that just got me.

 

Wasn't about his "masculinity" or the fact he was 6'1. In fact I think taller than average guys are kind of hard to deal with because it strains my neck to kiss or hug them.

 

Initially I wasn't even attracted to him. He completely got me with his personality, and the emotional connection we created together, once he had me on a mental level, that was it. I was his.

 

Majority = most.

 

Most women are going to be into the groups I've pointed out. That means that the vast majority of men are going to spend their lives fighting for that handful of women who is not like that.

[Hawakai]

Maybe get out of the video game skyrim? (whatever that is )

 

I know some currently pasty-artsy type guys, in their 20s. They have no trouble getting pretty girlfriends. But they are out there where the women are--playing their guitars, showing their art, reading their poetry, etc.

 

Nah man, those guys tried the whole charming/talkative routine and it didn't work. I've observed the guys. Decent body language, not awkward conversations at all, and they aimed for women who were average and below average and they didn't even manage to land dates. Decent-looking guys, too. Not short. Not fat. You can imagine what the guys who are below average are hitting - only the hand lotion and the computer screen.

[ThaWholigan]

I must be in some higher echelon of people because no guys I know experience these problems, no matter what they look like, save for a handful of guys. In fact, some of the girls have more problems . Before August, I was only 1 of 2 virgins in my social circle - everyone else either had GFs or were at least having sex with women with relative ease in comparison to my failings.

 

It's also interesting that while I am currently becoming more successful (I actually have a date tomorrow - yay me), my difficulties that I previously experience have been written off by a few here because of the things I say, and also because I happen to be tall (6 foot 3), amongst other things (other things being allegedly decent looking - see profile - and being black according to one person in real life )

 

I maintain that I was the reason I didn't date previously - because I sucked with women, now I'm a lot better. Not because of how I look or how "shallow" women are.

[xxoo]

Wholigan, I can't see your looks hurting your chances with women one bit

 

But it does go to show that looks aren't everything, and being "good with women" is a skill.

[ThaWholigan]

Wholigan, I can't see your looks hurting your chances with women one bit

 

But it does go to show that looks aren't everything, and being "good with women" is a skill.

So they say . I took that silly Golden Ratio test yesterday and got an 8.2 out of 10 . Apparently my face is symmetrical, scars notwithstanding.

 

Yes, it really is a skill - to an extent. There are IMO a handful of women who will be attracted to you no matter how wack your skillset with women is . I know because I met them - and consequently messed it up.

[mesmerized]

You're tall and muscular.

 

That puts you up there in the high echelon. You're autistic, sure, but you've had far more women show interest in you than most guys will ever receive. Observe men and women walking by each other. Women either look at the ground, or if the guy looks at them they quickly look to the other way(yeah ,I know, the woman doesn't feel safe etc), but they keep staring if the guy is good-looking.

 

 

I always look at what women look at when I'm walking with a guy. The guys are always checked out by a good percentage of women and sometimes by men. Maybe you just look hideous.

[Hawakai]

I must be in some higher echelon of people because no guys I know experience these problems, no matter what they look like, save for a handful of guys. In fact, some of the girls have more problems . Before August, I was only 1 of 2 virgins in my social circle - everyone else either had GFs or were at least having sex with women with relative ease in comparison to my failings.

 

It's also interesting that while I am currently becoming more successful (I actually have a date tomorrow - yay me), my difficulties that I previously experience have been written off by a few here because of the things I say, and also because I happen to be tall (6 foot 3), amongst other things (other things being allegedly decent looking - see profile - and being black according to one person in real life )

 

I maintain that I was the reason I didn't date previously - because I sucked with women, now I'm a lot better. Not because of how I look or how "shallow" women are.

 

You're tall and muscular.

 

That puts you up there in the high echelon. You're autistic, sure, but you've had far more women show interest in you than most guys will ever receive. Observe men and women walking by each other. Women either look at the ground, or if the guy looks at them they quickly look to the other way(yeah ,I know, the woman doesn't feel safe etc), but they keep staring if the guy is good-looking.

 

By the way. You remember that girl I told you about? The girl who avoided me and then was looking for my attention? Today I was at the subway station again and she passes near me. I made eye-contact because I was looking directly to where she was and she took the chance to say hi(closed smile, didn't say anything to me during the class), but I called her over and I talked to her. Her girlfriend was with her but strangely, instead of clinging to this girl like I see most girls do, she was always away, leaving me ''alone'' with the girl.

 

I was feeling feisty. I teased the girl, made-fun of her math/engineering skills, I told her(we had received a whole bunch of foreign students and both of us were charged with the task to greet them. I made fun of her by implying that her blonde hair made her a dummy) and I told her to sit when a seat became vacant. She didn't want it. She looked tired, but she chose to stand up to talk to me as there was no seat left for me. Eventually a seat close to us became vacant. I told her to sit. She put the package she was carrying with her(I think it was one of those book packages, I think she ordered some books) on the seat and was still talking to me. Now, here's the kicker. She has difficulty talking to me. She speaks English/italian perfectly with other guys but when she's with me she can't really articulate the words. I find that odd, but hey. Maybe I put her off that much. Anyway.

 

He friend was ''missing in action'' and the girl despite having this many difficulty talking to me would start talking or continue what I was saying. I teased her, she called me meanie, but she didn't walk away from me. She got so distracted that she almost lost her station and would end up on the other side of the city. Her friend had to call her.

 

See, what guys have to deal with? This girl when she met me was Miss Sunshine. A week later she was avoiding me. A week later I was ignoring her. This week she seems to be enjoying her time with me, although I don't see how because we have so much difficulty communicating with each other. Plus, she makes me nervous for some odd reason so I end up fumbling in my own native language and we look both like a couple of retards playing adult.

 

And the young women who were near us wouldn't take their eyes off of me. I even had hot MILF who were walking to the exit turn to me and stare at me. This seems to happen when I display ''Alpha behavior'' over men or when I tease/talk to women.

 

I always look at what women look at when I'm walking with a guy. The guys are always checked out by a good percentage of women and sometimes by men. Maybe you just look hideous.

 

I look 12 years younger than my age. I am consistently confused for an 18 year old guy, even when I let my beard grow and the people saying that are 18 themselves. I'm not fat etc etc. Maybe you shouldn't talk about what you don't know?

[ThaWholigan]

You're tall and muscular.

 

That puts you up there in the high echelon. You're autistic, sure, but you've had far more women show interest in you than most guys will ever receive. Observe men and women walking by each other. Women either look at the ground, or if the guy looks at them they quickly look to the other way(yeah ,I know, the woman doesn't feel safe etc), but they keep staring if the guy is good-looking.

 

You're not the first person to say that .

 

I was stared at today even, I almost didn't react until I took off my headphones to stop and say hello. I wouldn't say it's my looks, because right now I have stopped training and am not looking too muscular at current - also I have a massive Daniel Bryan-style beard .

 

But hey, I'm tall so everything is good

 

By the way. You remember that girl I told you about? The girl who avoided me and then was looking for my attention? Today I was at the subway station again and she passes near me. I made eye-contact because I was looking directly to where she was and she took the chance to say hi(closed smile, didn't say anything to me during the class), but I called her over and I talked to her. Her girlfriend was with her but strangely, instead of clinging to this girl like I see most girls do, she was always away, leaving me ''alone'' with the girl.

 

I was feeling feisty. I teased the girl, made-fun of her math/engineering skills, I told her(we had received a whole bunch of foreign students and both of us were charged with the task to greet them. I made fun of her by implying that her blonde hair made her a dummy) and I told her to sit when a seat became vacant. She didn't want it. She looked tired, but she chose to stand up to talk to me as there was no seat left for me. Eventually a seat close to us became vacant. I told her to sit. She put the package she was carrying with her(I think it was one of those book packages, I think she ordered some books) on the seat and was still talking to me. Now, here's the kicker. She has difficulty talking to me. She speaks English/italian perfectly with other guys but when she's with me she can't really articulate the words. I find that odd, but hey. Maybe I put her off that much. Anyway.

 

He friend was ''missing in action'' and the girl despite having this many difficulty talking to me would start talking or continue what I was saying. I teased her, she called me meanie, but she didn't walk away from me. She got so distracted that she almost lost her station and would end up on the other side of the city. Her friend had to call her.

 

See, what guys have to deal with? This girl when she met me was Miss Sunshine. A week later she was avoiding me. A week later I was ignoring her. This week she seems to be enjoying her time with me, although I don't see how because we have so much difficulty communicating with each other. Plus, she makes me nervous for some odd reason so I end up fumbling in my own native language and we look both like a couple of retards playing adult.

 

And the young women who were near us wouldn't take their eyes off of me. I even had hot MILF who were walking to the exit turn to me and stare at me. This seems to happen when I display ''Alpha behavior'' over men or when I tease/talk to women.

 

This reads like a field report . Seriously, it wouldn't look out of place at certain forums I used to read/post on. I maintain - a lot of guys suck at talking to women. They might think they are doing well, they might get some neutral attention, but they still suck at it - that includes some PUAs.

 

I'm more interested in the bold. I don't think like that or have that attitude, even when I was f*cking up and girls didn't show me any romantic interest. Maybe that is the difference. I don't consider it "putting up" with women. I spend more than enough time around guys as it is - sometimes I like to spend more time around girls, without the expectation or the hope of getting laid.

[xxoo]

I'm more interested in the bold. I don't think like that or have that attitude, even when I was f*cking up and girls didn't show me any romantic interest. Maybe that is the difference. I don't consider it "putting up" with women. I spend more than enough time around guys as it is - sometimes I like to spend more time around girls, without the expectation or the hope of getting laid.

 

What a profound concept: women like men who genuinely like women!

 

(and vice-versa, of course)

[Lonely Ronin]

 

I was feeling feisty. I teased the girl, made-fun of her math/engineering skills, I told her(we had received a whole bunch of foreign students and both of us were charged with the task to greet them. I made fun of her by implying that her blonde hair made her a dummy) and I told her to sit when a seat became vacant. She didn't want it. She looked tired, but she chose to stand up to talk to me as there was no seat left for me. Eventually a seat close to us became vacant. I told her to sit. She put the package she was carrying with her(I think it was one of those book packages, I think she ordered some books) on the seat and was still talking to me. Now, here's the kicker. She has difficulty talking to me. She speaks English/italian perfectly with other guys but when she's with me she can't really articulate the words. I find that odd, but hey. Maybe I put her off that much. Anyway.

 

He friend was ''missing in action'' and the girl despite having this many difficulty talking to me would start talking or continue what I was saying. I teased her, she called me meanie, but she didn't walk away from me. She got so distracted that she almost lost her station and would end up on the other side of the city. Her friend had to call her.

 

See, what guys have to deal with? This girl when she met me was Miss Sunshine. A week later she was avoiding me. A week later I was ignoring her. This week she seems to be enjoying her time with me, although I don't see how because we have so much difficulty communicating with each other. Plus, she makes me nervous for some odd reason so I end up fumbling in my own native language and we look both like a couple of retards playing adult.

 

And the young women who were near us wouldn't take their eyes off of me. I even had hot MILF who were walking to the exit turn to me and stare at me. This seems to happen when I display ''Alpha behavior'' over men or when I tease/talk to women.

 

They where looking at you, because you where acting like a douche-bag. And the "MILF" probably wanted to get a good look at you so they could avoid being in the same car as you next time.

[Hawakai]

They where looking at you, because you where acting like a douche-bag. And the "MILF" probably wanted to get a good look at you so they could avoid being in the same car as you next time.

 

Never seen a douche-bag who couldn't clean up, so no. I wasn't being a douchebag. Yeah, I guess that was it. That MLF was so horrified by my behavior that she created a tense situation by facing a douchebag. Docuhebags don't have an history of being aggressive. I'm sure she was interested in being in potential danger of being beaten up by a douchebag.

 

You're a ray of sunlight of logic. Thanks for stopping by. Please return to ''old-fashioned treatment of women works out'' land.

[Lonely Ronin]

Never seen a douche-bag who couldn't clean up, so no. I wasn't being a douchebag. Yeah, I guess that was it. That MLF was so horrified by my behavior that she created a tense situation by facing a douchebag. Docuhebags don't have an history of being aggressive. I'm sure she was interested in being in potential danger of being beaten up by a douchebag.

 

You're a ray of sunlight of logic. Thanks for stopping by. Please return to ''old-fashioned treatment of women works out'' land.

 

 

I have known a few d-bags over the years, and they have all had two things in common.

 

1. Horribly insecure and always trying to hide it by acting "Alpha"

2. All show & no go

[GoodOnPaper]

What a profound concept: women like men who genuinely like women!

 

(and vice-versa, of course)

 

When you're bad at attraction, it can be very difficult to identify and separate what you really want from the pressure you feel to keep from "missing out" or "falling behind". This pressure factor has been in the equation in every meeting/dating/relationship situation I've had. Back to the OP, I think because many of us blame our mediocre looks but don't do anything about it, the blaming is primarily just a response to this pressure and frustration.

[Hawakai]

I have known a few d-bags over the years, and they have all had two things in common.

 

1. Horribly insecure and always trying to hide it by acting "Alpha"

2. All show & no go

 

I have met dimwitted douchebags who managed to allure very attractive church girls who were saving their virginities for their future husbands. I've met doucehbags who upon meeting a perfect 10 girl who was loyal to her first and only boyfriend somehow managed to bed her a week after meeting her for the first time.

 

All of these girls were intelligent, had stability in their family while growing up, and belonged to middle-clas and high-class. Daughters of doctors, univ. teachers and so on. I know a handful of average-looking women with very little dating experience married to good-looking and good for nothing studs.

 

I've seen these guys enter places and an hour later women are leaving their long-term boyfriends and husbands to spend half an hour with them. Spare me the moralism. Women are controlled by their clitoris like men are by their penises, maybe even more so than men.

 

What a profound concept: women like men who genuinely like women!

 

(and vice-versa, of course)

 

You have to explain to me how Ted Bundy had so many love interests. Didn't he actually kill women? Must've been his college degree that did the trick!

Edited November 15, 2012 by Hawakai

[ThaWholigan]

Yes, I know guys who do the same sh-t. 1 of them is my cousin .

 

But let's not paint this as the standard. That's just more excuse making. (He bad boy excuse is a pretty played out one too. AFCs get laid too .

 

But what do I know? I'm tall and muscular . Top 20% FTW

[Lonely Ronin]

Yes, I know guys who do the same sh-t. 1 of them is my cousin .

 

the funny part is it always comes back to bit them in the ass... I know of two spectacular cases of it coming back and biting the d-bags.

[Hawakai]

the funny part is it always comes back to bit them in the ass... I know of two spectacular cases of it coming back and biting the d-bags.

 

Napoleon Bonaparte didn't have the most pleasant of endings. Still he was the Emperor of the French for some good years.

[Sun Devil]

From what I have seen, the men who act like douchebags never stay single for long, regardless on how they look. I have seen ugly guys who treat women like crap get girls with little effort. It is as if women like being abused but wont admit it. I see this trend continue until the women reach their 30's or 40's. Since this occurs on my college campus, I know that money is not a factor since very few student have a lot of money.

[grkBoy]

So this topic went from fashion/style to the typical "why do women pick jerks?" and the usual rebuttal of how guys only want skinny shallow pretty girls with big boobs.

 

Ugh.

[xxoo]

You have to explain to me how Ted Bundy had so many love interests. Didn't he actually women? Must've been his college degree that did the trick!

 

You are pulling out a psychopathic example to argue normal human relationships?